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Why am i here .i dont want to be .

M

Mrt23

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Nashua
Why am I here .I'd rather be with my mother. Not here .I thought about self harming .but I hate pain .maybe if there were a painless way to die than maybe i would go.i wish I could fall asleep and not wake up and go up to where my mother is and my grandad is and my grandmother is. We were all very close. Me and my mother had a very tight bond I'm not really that close with the rest of my family and that's down to them not me .I try .I take medication everyday for add. Ocd.depression. anxiety .ptsd.without my meds I dont know where I would be or if I would still be living .so why am I still here ??
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,300
Location
England
@Mrt23 I don't know. You are here though, and i am talking to you, we don't know why. I'm so sorry you have lost most of the people who you love and who love you. Who knows where they are now and if we will see them again one day. I hope i see my loved ones as i miss them so badly it hurts so much.

I try to be grateful that they were in my life. I try to think that we do not know what the future holds.

I'm glad you don't want to self-harm. Are you safe from these suicidal thoughts? Lots of people live with them in the background every day, so i hope you can do the same. Maybe you can see them as a reminder of the loss and how sad you feel about that, and so then how much you are loved. I say 'are' in stead or 'were' because perhaps they are somewhere else still loving you right now. I really hope so.

Do you have pets? I have cats and they are great to talk to and they come and give me a hug when i am not doing well.

I am going to post some helplines in case you need them but please remember we are all here to support you too.

Do you have a good doctor? Is there anyone in your life now who cares about you?
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,300
Location
England
If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone.
Help and support is available right now if you need it. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.
Phone a helpline
These free helplines are there to help when you're feeling down or desperate.
You can also call these helplines for advice if you’re worried about someone else.
In the UK and Ireland, call the Samaritans on 116123.
In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, call the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, call Lifeline on 131114.
In New Zealand, call Need to Talk on 1737 or 080017371737.
For other countries please visit this list of crisis helplines.
Useful information
The Forum's page on getting help may also be useful to you. Here is a link to it Mental Health Forum - Getting Help
Here is a link to an article on Suicidal Crisis written by one of the Admin team which you may find helpful Suicidal Crisis
Emergency help
If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111 or call the international emergency number of 112).
Please do seek help as soon as possible.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,300
Location
England
@Mrt23 How are you this evening? (It is evening here in England)
 
B

BeanThere

Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2021
Messages
18
Location
Uk
There’s a future for you, if you communicate with people you will find positives increasingly as you go along, I did, message me if you want. S.
 
M

Mrt23

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Nashua
Easier said and done .you have no idea how my say goes each day .I deal with multiple mental disorders. And take slot of medication for them. OCD.is bad and I have a social anxiety disorder. It's probably easy for you to go out and meet people and talk .not me .
 

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