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Why abusers blame shift their victims?

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Blackrose09

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Can you explains why those who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder and are abusive blame shift on their victims?
I read on the Internet they do it because they don't like feeling guilty. Nothing more I can find.
Do they know they do it or they think they are the victim? Do they know they manipulate and do it intentionally?
Don't know what other questions to ask I'm confused because when I replayed and said "stop thinking you are my victim because you are not and stop searching always for an abuser, when I ll be gone you will find another person to blame them for an abuse that did not took place", they had that look on their face like they were guilty for something and hiding the guilt (or probably were thinking you catched me), remains silent and surprised and others that showed me they clearly know they are blame shifting. Before this i thought they really belive they are the victim. Maybe both are true they know what they are doing and in the same time or other times they believe they are a victim. I don't know if what I wrote makes much sense. Sorry if it doesn't.
 
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Nukelavee

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Do they know they do it or they think they are the victim? Do they know they manipulate and do it intentionally?
Some do, some don't.

some can convince themselves they are the victim, I think most narcissistic people find it easy to believe their own versions of events.

they don't like feeling guilty, it's true. They also don't like dealing with the fallout of being the abuser, or taking the energy to be sorry.

Plus, to them, everybody else is just a movie extra, they are the star.
 
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Purpleplum

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They see things only in terms of themselves and that's all see when you tell them something. They have no empathy for others.
 
Keesha

Keesha

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Can you explains why those who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder and are abusive blame shift on their victims?
I read on the Internet they do it because they don't like feeling guilty. Nothing more I can find.
Do they know they do it or they think they are the victim? Do they know they manipulate and do it intentionally?
Don't know what other questions to ask I'm confused because when I replayed and said "stop thinking you are my victim because you are not and stop searching always for an abuser, when I ll be gone you will find another person to blame them for an abuse that did not took place", they had that look on their face like they were guilty for something and hiding the guilt (or probably were thinking you catched me), remains silent and surprised and others that showed me they clearly know they are blame shifting. Before this i thought they really belive they are the victim. Maybe both are true they know what they are doing and in the same time or other times they believe they are a victim. I don't know if what I wrote makes much sense. Sorry if it doesn't.
No! They aren’t feeling guilty in the least because they never think they do anything wrong and if they do they sure aren’t going to tell you about it. If anything ever goes wrong it’s always someone else’s fault. They are expert manipulators and will have no problems at all throwing guilt at you in the least. Everything is always honkey dorey with narcissists when everything is going their way but when it’s not they will whine and complaint up a storm.

Do they know they do it?
Yes! They know how their behaviour affects others. That’s why they do it. After a while all these selfish narcissistic decisions become predicable. I think that’s often when it turns into a personality disorder. Both my parents are selfish, narcissistic people to the max.

They have no empathy for others.
It’s vacant in that department
 
MarieRose

MarieRose

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They intentionally abuse and refuse to admit it and take responsibility and they act like victims and blame the people they abuse for accusing them unjustly of crimes they did commit.They gain the upper hands by reframing and redefining things that happened,they rewrite the past and in their version they are blameless and did no wrong.That way they escape being accountable and having to look at how bad they are and how wrong,they can do this quite happily as they have no conscience,in their world if they can get away with something they do and can gain what they want from it without consequences then they will do it even if it's against the law,even if someone gets seriously hurt or loses their life.
 
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Blackrose09

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Thank you all for the answers.
I'm less confused now.

But when they have that "paranoia crisis" and start yelling and become aggressive agitated with tantrums they really belive they are a victim of everyone and everything.
 
Keesha

Keesha

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Thank you all for the answers.
I'm less confused now.

But when they have that "paranoia crisis" and start yelling and become aggressive agitated with tantrums they really belive they are a victim of everyone and everything.
Here is some info the narcissistic personality disorder. I’m not certain but I don’t think ‘paranoia crisis’ is a characteristic of this disorder. They do however think they are a victim of everyone and everything.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - HelpGuide.org
I’ve got some on these characteristics.I’m worried 😟
 
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Blackrose09

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Here is some info the narcissistic personality disorder. I’m not certain but I don’t think ‘paranoia crisis’ is a characteristic of this disorder. They do however think they are a victim of everyone and everything.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - HelpGuide.org
I’ve got some on these characteristics.I’m worried 😟
Because of past trauma they think that way. Some say it must be considered a ptsd type disorder.
Thanks for the info.
Sorry you have some characteristics, is not your fault ar all. You are very brave for being open about it. There must be lots of people that score a little higher on narcisism than the average.
 
Keesha

Keesha

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Because of past trauma they think that way. Some say it must be considered a ptsd type disorder.
Thanks for the info.
Sorry you have some characteristics, is not your fault ar all. You are very brave for being open about it. There must be lots of people that score a little higher on narcisism than the average.
I’d presume you are right. We don’t usually know what caused these people to be this way and I actually feel bad and criticizing this disorder in a mental health forum because it IS just that. A disorder so we should always try and remember that.

I’ve got so much past trauma accompanied with PTSD so I’d say you are probably right.
I’ve signed up for some counselling. I really don’t want to be treating others badly due to my illnesses.
 
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Blackrose09

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I’d presume you are right. We don’t usually know what caused these people to be this way and I actually feel bad and criticizing this disorder in a mental health forum because it IS just that. A disorder so we should always try and remember that.

I’ve got so much past trauma accompanied with PTSD so I’d say you are probably right.
I’ve signed up for some counselling. I really don’t want to be treating others badly due to my illnesses.
I'm very glad you decided for counselling. I hope it helps you and you will find the right therapist. Good luck!
 
MarieRose

MarieRose

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Narcissists are more defensive than paranoid,they feel threatened so conclude others are jealous of them and are attacking them so nothing is ever their fault in their eyes,and others are out to get them.
 
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