Who would do this???

megirl

megirl

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My ex just text me and told me Alice ...his new girlfriend are getting on great.... Then he sends me a picture of her.
Asks me how I am, I dont reply for three days. He texts me apparently concerned?? Like what? Anyway silly me texts back. Then he tells me she's off work for 4 days so they are spending that time together.
Umm..the other weekend he tells me shes great in bed??
And silly me still replys to his texts.
And now i m drinking.
Told my pdoc and support worker I dont have anything to do with him ...and no I'm not interested in drinking,
Lies and lies course I was happy to be discharged feels great now not too sure
 
megirl

megirl

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What have I done
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Hey megirl.

The way your ex isn't taking into account the most fundamental things about how you might feel about his new relationship, tells me you should take the bull by the horns and chop him out of your life. Perhaps you still have feelings for him which is quite understandable, but maybe all the more reason to create a solid wall between the two of you so you can move on, heal, and focus on your own inner self. That's what I'd do, megirl.
 
megirl

megirl

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That's what the mental health team have made me understand. The problem is I lied to them gosh I still care for him. Grrr..,.guess he doesn't give a shit. Ok the other week he told me they had a great night together etc...guess that's the thing I need to ignore him not as easy for me as you think
 
megirl

megirl

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I know that's what the psych team have told me and I lied and said yep I havnt had any contact with him here I am a lier and loser
 
megirl

megirl

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Yes I think next time he text me delete the text and his number I aren't great at remembering cell phone numbers so each time he texts maybe I should stop breaking my own heart and just block his number. Kills me but hes killing me slowly anyway
 
megirl

megirl

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Ok I will delete his number now!! And if he texts me just ignore and get rid of it.
Who the fuck would say that. .

'We had a great night shes hot and we didn't get much sleep..' Here I am an idiot thinking he cares
 
L

Lunar Lady

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The problem is that he has moved on and you haven't yet.


I don't fully understand why you still see him (have you got children?) but if you regret the relationship ending and still have feelings for him, then spending time with him is self-imposed torture.

He is not going to 'miss you' because you are still available - still accessible. He is just getting acclimatised to you being a platonic friend whilst the new relationship takes off.

Even if you secretly hope for a reconciliation, spending time with him is not the answer. Cut the ties with him and move on. :hug1:
 
megirl

megirl

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Thank you for that. I know we won't get back together. We broke up march last year by may he was already looking on for someone new. Here I feel like he still cares..
 
megirl

megirl

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Lunar Lady I actually think you hit it on the nail. He may randomly text me then when I finally text him back its like hes relieved to hear from me??
As I have already mentioned we split in march last year by may he already announced on Facebook etc that hes single. I am a little slow I guess.
If I met someone new I wouldn't be rubbing it anyone's face fuck sake ...
 
megirl

megirl

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So yes I find it difficult but just dont reply to his messages
 
megirl

megirl

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He moved on the months before he announced the split no discussion conversation about it. I told the psych team I had cut him off but ummm not quite yes I guess I need to come here more often rather then trying to work out how I am meant to respond
 
C

Confusedandanxious

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He keeps texting you because each time you text him back, he thinks you're still interested. It strokes his ego. Hes said hurtful things that nobody would say to someone they cared about, but he still gets a response. He must feel like gods gift who can do anything and still have you care for him and want him (in his head).

Ive been there, where I've deliberately not blocked their number, not wanting them to text but secretly hoping that they do, because for some reason a part of me hopes that their texts mean that they still care. But they dont. They just want to feel good.
 
megirl

megirl

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It hurts though but I know you are right I would never do that to anyone yeh I just need to block him out I'm the caring one and the one who spent 5 weeks in the psych ward because of him ...
 
megirl

megirl

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When I dont text him back then days later when I do he says its great I'm ok then the shit Carry's on
 
megirl

megirl

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Yeh some of my friends think hes the best ex husband ever makes me feel like killing myself...maybe that's what he wants make his life easier
 
L

Lunar Lady

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So yes I find it difficult but just dont reply to his messages
If it was me, I WOULD reply to his messages immediately - but never deviate from the phrase "I'm fine thanks".

If you don't reply, you cause intrigue...invite attention and concern and prompt him to find out if something's wrong.

If you answer the question and clearly don't want to talk any further than that, he'll soon get the message.

If you can let go of him, mentally, you'll be much happier and open to new possibilities and other life experiences. At the moment, you're just 'hanging around the funeral parlour' when your relationship was officially buried a long time ago.

Forget him and think about you.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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What I did last time I broke up with a ex was I changed his name on my phone to something insulting so i was less likely to respond to it.

Like "stinky ratbag do not answer" (for example)

:hug:
 
C

Coolname

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My ex just text me and told me Alice ...his new girlfriend are getting on great.... Then he sends me a picture of her.
Asks me how I am, I dont reply for three days. He texts me apparently concerned?? Like what? Anyway silly me texts back. Then he tells me she's off work for 4 days so they are spending that time together.
Umm..the other weekend he tells me shes great in bed??
And silly me still replys to his texts.
And now i m drinking.
Told my pdoc and support worker I dont have anything to do with him ...and no I'm not interested in drinking,
Lies and lies course I was happy to be discharged feels great now not too sure
Hiya

Short answer? He is definitely not interested in you any more. As hard as it is to accept that when we don't want to believe it, it is the only way to feel better about it all. Long answer? I can't put it better than Lunar Lady already did.
 
M

Mary26

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If he had moved on he wouldn't be trying to make you jealous. He wouldn't be texting you at all. So no, I think he still has strong ties to you and if it makes you feel any better, I suspect you have more power here than you think. He wants a reaction. Question is, are you gonna give him one? If you do ignore him, you get to move on and he gets frustrated.
 
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