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Who is right?

kathrina

kathrina

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2009
Messages
62
Hello I'm new to this kind of thing so if my words come out all wrong, I aplogise. I have come on this forum to find out whether friends are making a fuss over nothing. I weighed 10 stone 10 pounds two months ago and have lost 2 stone since then. I do eat, around 500 calories a day, but my friends tell me it's not enough. They also say that I have an eating disorder. I'm not so sure. Can someone help to dispel this disagreement? I mean I do eat and I know that some don't.
Thank you for your time.

Kathrina:confused:
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi Kathrina

And :welcome: to the forum.

Can I ask why you suddenly decided to start restricting your diet to just 500 calories a day?

Who do you know that doesn't eat calories?

Take care
Sapphire :hug:
 
kathrina

kathrina

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2009
Messages
62
Sapphire,

I have gone up in calories and have told my friends this but still they insist I have an eating disorder. They say that I am in denial and try to rationalise it. They now say that if I do not recognise that I have an eating disorder, that our friendship will be affected. Hence why I came on here to find out who was right.

I didn't have an appetite to begin with and then found I only needed 500 calories.

Thank you for your time.

Kathrina

still :confused:
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi Kathrina

Can I ask what height you are?

An eating disorder can be very deceptive, even to the person suffering with it. You haven't really answered why you suddenly decided to only restrict to 500 Kcals a day.

Was there anything that suddenly made you conscious of how many calories you are eating? I am only asking because most healthy people are not aware of how many Kcals they are eating?

Please do not slate your friends. Even if I had an overweight friend I would be shocked and concerned if they lost two stones in two months. It is quite drastic unless you are overweight to begin with? Even if you were, that is still alot of weight to lose in such a short time space?

You must have lost alot of appetite to lose two stone in two months? what caused it hun? :hug:

Please believe me, an eating disorder can affect alot of frienships because not only will your body change but your character can change dramatically too, believe me I lost alot of good friends though my ED. :hug:
 
kathrina

kathrina

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2009
Messages
62
Hello Sapphire,

I am 5ft 4in so losing the weight isn't a big deal. I checked my BMI online and it is ok.

I've just had another disagreement with my friend once again. He says that I am in denial and not living in reality. He says that I am out of control with it. I'm in perfect control and eat every day. He stormed off line when I said that.

500 seemed a good round number to me. I was eating much less than that at one point so it is good now. I've always had a pretty good idea of calorie content in most foods but am a pretty good expert now. The internet is good if it doesn't tell you too. I hate not knowing the calorie content of something. Really bugs me.

I'm fine and wish my friends wouldn't worry so much. It stresses me out.


Hope you're ok.

Kathrina.
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi Kathrina

Your BMI might be okay at the moment, but existing on 500 cals a day it won't be for much longer.

It's not just the weight you need to worry about, you can actually have a heart attack, liver problems, vitamin deficiencies, pottasium problems, and electrolyte problems from being on such a low calorie intake. Drastic dieting like this can cause irreparable damage to your body. These can all be very serious.

You may also not be absorbing enough calcium too which can cause osteopoenia and worse still osteoporosis. Your periods may stop too if they haven't already.

People existing on such low nutrition think taking supplements will stop all this but actually they have little effect whatsoever as your body needs some food and nutrition to help absorb these.

You may not have noticed yourself but your personality is likely to have drastically altered too, you can get bad tempered, distorted and lack of sleep, prone to mood swings, and become emotional. These are all things your friends may have noticed and may be why they are getting concerned.

I think you do know yourself that this diet is not okay, but maybe you don't want to admit that, so you can carry on as you are. Kind of like people who smoke knows it can cause cancer but carry on regardless.

I guess what you have to ask yourself are you prepared to risk all the above and your friendships over it? It is something you will have to decide.
I lost alot of friends because they found it hard to watch someone slowly killing themselves. I had mothers hide their children from me because I looked like the walking dead. It was not funny.

An eating disorder is a lonely and isolating existance and once you get to a certain point it is hard to stop without some form of medical/psychiatric intervention.

I had to be sectioned, which means now that I can't travel or emigrate to certain countries, can't work in certain professions like the police or the army. My life insurance is sky high. And at one point I wasn't allowed to drive. I lost everything over it, my family some friends, my home, my job, my freedom, my mind and my dignity.

This is not a scare story, if you carry on, some of the above will happen to you, I can guarantee it. It is a road that leads to alot of misery, heartache, grief and physical and mental pain.

Is losing weight, really worth all that?
 
kathrina

kathrina

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2009
Messages
62
Hello Sapphire,

I am already in therapy. I've only been 4 times and the therapist was nervous, due to this problem, to keep me on. She wants me to see my doctor. I feel like people are trying to take my control with threats.

Your message hit home in some areas.

I'm gathering from your messages that you agree with my friends about me having an ED.

Are you much better now? Do you still struggle with an ED?

Take Care,

Kathrina:confused:
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi Kathrina

In no way am I saying you have an eating disorder. But I can say that you are starving yourself, which isn't usual for such a prolonged period of time.

In 1945 in America some professors did an experiment on some volunteers as an alternative to military service, where they starved them, on a very restricted diet as yours is.

After a while, they started developing traits which are traits accredited to anorexics.

Most if not all of them suffered a massive physical, psychological and social changes, these changes were still persisted during the rehabilitation stage. Some recovered some after a short while, some after months or years, some never really recovered to their former self. During this starvation some developed bulimic episodes following with feelings of self reproach, as well as binge eating episodes.

Most of the men suffered with complete emotional changes, becoming more bad tempered, anxious, and apathetic. Many suffered with increased depressive feelings, hysteria and hypochondria. Two of the men developed disturbances of psychotic proportions.
Most became progressively more withdrawn and isolated, and lacked motivation to make goals, do activities, or even for personal hygeine.

Most of the men suffered with a decline in interest in sex and their relationships suffered.

They went through massive cognitive changes, with drastic impairment of concentration, comprehension and judgment.

And of course their were the physical changes, not just losing weight but suffering with gastrointestinal discomfort, decreased need for sleep, dizziness, headaches, hypersensitivity to noise and light, reduced strength, poor motor control, edema (an excess of fluid causing swelling), hair loss, decreased tolerance for cold temperatures (cold hands and feet), visual disturbances (i.e. inability to focus, eye aches, "spots" in the visual fields), auditory disturbances (i.e. ringing noise in the ears), and paresthesia (i.e. abnormal tingling or prickling sensations, especially in the hands or feet).

If you want to carry on starving yourself and go through the above, that is fine. But you will suffer with some if not all of the above if you carry on with your 500 calorie diet. I suffered with most if not all of the above symptoms, it was the most miserable time of my life.

No one I met in ED hospitals were happy. They were all miserable and unhappy. And all of them displayed some or all of the above symptoms. In fact ED units I find are the most depressing places to find yourself in. The last one I went to none of the patients could be bothered to celebrate chistmas.

I think that if your friends and your therapist are concerned, then you should at least take that into account, rather than what a stranger says to you online.

Many therapists don't want to continue with therapy with persons that are starving themselves, most likely because you will at some point suffer with the above and your ability to process and use the therapy is likely to be greatly reduced. Having therapy in starvation is not usually helpful.
Plus there is a risk that if you are using starvation as a way to cope with your feelings and therapy were to bring up something that is distressing to you, you might use starvation even more as a way to cope with them. Which kind of puts you in a viscious cycle.

In fact many hospitals now refuse to give therapy to persons under a certain BMI.

I'm not trying to control you with threats, I am just giving you the facts. It really is up to you what you do with them.

Yes I am much better now, thanks for asking. :)
I've suffered with it on and off most of my adult life, it has almost killed me on a few occassions. In all honesty, I wish I knew then what I know now, and that I never went down that road. I still have my difficulties and moments, recovery has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and it was by no means overnight. It took me to hell and back.

If you do have an eating disorder it really is best to catch it as early as possible, because then you have more success of having a complete recovery.

I hope you make the right choice. :)
 
kathrina

kathrina

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2009
Messages
62
Dear Sapphire,

I just want to say that I am going to my doctor tomorrow morning. I don't think I was going to have a choice in this matter anyway as my therapist was going to contact my doctor as well.
I didn't know about the american experiement at all. I'll be honest with you, I'm already suffereing from some of what described.
This is not the first time that I've been through this either, I went through it in my teens and now adulthood.

I will have to see what the doctor advises.

Thank you for your messages.

Regards,

Kathrina
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
No problems Kathrina,

I hope it goes well for you.

Take care,
Sapphire :hug:
 
kathrina

kathrina

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2009
Messages
62
Dear Sapphire,

I went to my doctor this morning and he was very understanding. A bit concerned I think but understanding. He has asked me to have a blood test done which I agreed to.
I guess my friends have been right all along. So I guess I have my answer to the question I started this thread off with.

With this in mind, do I still have a right to post on here do you think?

I hope you're ok,

Kathrina:unsure:
 
unlucky

unlucky

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 21, 2009
Messages
2,858
Location
Glasgow
Sorry to butt in but of course you've still got a right to post here!! If anything even more right. We're here to try to support you through your problems. If you've got anything you want to get off your chest just blurt it out. This forum, as I've found out, can be a huge help to you when you're feeling down. I'm glad you went to the doctor and are starting to get the help you need. I hope this is the start of you feeling better. :hug::hug:
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi Kathrina

I'm so glad you went to the doctor, that was a brave decision, and so pleased they were understanding and that you are having a blood test. :)

Did he discuss about ways to help you?

I totally agree with Unlucky, you have every right to post here, even if you start to feel okay. It's a great place to talk about your issues from an understanding environment. It's also great to help take you away from your issues, and to distract yourself from them, by using the chill out forum, or getting involved in a debate in the two pence worth forum! :D

Take good care of yourself,
Sapphire :hug:
 
kathrina

kathrina

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2009
Messages
62
Going to the doctor was inevitable anyway as my therapist was going to contact him whether i chose to go or not.
I think because I am seeing a therapist, he is letting her deal with it for the time being. He wants the results of the blood test I think first. He did want me to go on mild anti-dpressants which I refused. I saw what they did to a girl at work. I know its not the same for everyone but still I'm taking that chance. Doc was ok with that decision though. And of course weighed me although I could have told him if he'd asked.

Unlucky, if I blurted out how I feel, it would not be pretty believe me.

Thanks to you both for answering me.

:(

Kathrina
 
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