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Where do I start????????????????????????? (Trigger Warning)

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Rob27

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2015
Messages
68
Location
Derby
Hi everyone

I remember a time when I was fun and good to be around but over the last 8 or 9 years I've completely lost my fun side and I don't know how to get back to how I was. I'm not looking to go back to my 16 year old self because he was a bell end lol, but I would like to be more out going and not worried what people might think if they see my scars or if I have a break down. I also don't seem to enjoy the this I did before.

So I was wondering if anyone has any ideas of where I can start?
How do I find things I really enjoy?

P.S. I wasn't sure if mentioning scars needed a trigger warning so I put one up to be safe :)
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
I am reminded of a quote from the film Coach Carter, starring Samuel L. Jackson (lolol, it's a cheesy sports film, but it's actually quite good):

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I guess, generally, try to achieve good mental health ?

It's a big question; I wish I knew the answer.
 
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Rob27

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2015
Messages
68
Location
Derby
Thank you I was hoping for the magic answer but I guess ill just keep trying things lol.

I would like to say that your wrong on one point Coach Carter isn't a cheesy sports film its an awesome sports film lol. I wanna watch it now.

:)
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Unfortunately, I do think that part of maturing does mean that you perhaps lose some of the lightness that you may have once had.
There are more responsibilities and generally most people have had life experiences that have perhaps resulted in them being more cautious too.
But I don't think it's impossible to learn to care less about what people think and to get some joy back into your life.

I think the process of accepting yourself for who you are can really help when it comes to not taking other people's judgements of you to heart.
It's interesting that you describe your 16 year old self as a bell end.. is that just a bit of a light-hearted comment or do you, deep down, not feel entirely comfortable with who you've been in the past?
One of the best things you can do is say that it's ok to be you and to be mindful not to judge yourself too harshly.

As far as finding things you enjoy, the only way really is to get out there and give different things a go.
Do you have any ideas where you'd like to start?
Are you sporty? Arty? Looking for ways to relax?
If you can be brave to push yourself out there to try something, even if it turns out that it's not really for you, you've still achieved something by getting a new experience and discovering more about yourself.

I've tried all kinds of things - library groups, meditation, pottery, drumming, poetry readings, evening lectures, wildlife groups.. you name it. A lot of those things I don't really do any more because i've moved into a different town, but it was all really good experience. Plus, a lot of those activities drew in people who were generally supportive and kind, so the social side of things wasn't too scary.
 
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maddieshae

Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2015
Messages
5
This may sound too easy, but trust me, it is isn't that simple and it works. I read the book The Secret and it changed my life. You do not have to read the book if you don't want to, but it does help. Ultimately, I think the most important ting is try to think positive thoughts and surround yourself with positivity. Eliminate any toxic relationships and only listen to happy music. Read happy books, watch happy movies, and keep your life in a positive tone. Hope this helps!
 
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