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Where do I start... advice needed

C

Crispie

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2021
Messages
27
Location
England
Hey all,

I am 38 and new to this, i suppose I have always known that I have had mental health issues but always batted it off to stress at work, take a couple days off and get back to it, I have always been the stiff upper lip take the weight of the world person. That was until September this year I had a really stressful day at work my anxiety sky rocketed and I fell ill physically, loss of apetite not wanting to get out of bed and just numb and empty inside.

I finally decided to speak to a Dr about how I was feeling and they made a referral for CBT and put me on medication for anxiety and depression. I suppose thats where it all began, I had to start recognising and understanding my emotions and opening up more to my wife and family. After my inital assessment im now on the waiting list but luckly only up to 6 weeks so have about 2 weeks left until I should hear something.

Anyway as soon as I started opening up to people it feels like a flood gate opened and I have spiralled to this point where every day is a roller coaster, I cant go out to busy places because of my anxiety which then links to my depression where I just dont want to get up or do anything. I have been signed off from work until December which is one thing I can forget about for now, they have been incredibly understanding.

I have recently started having thoughts of self harm but haven't gone to the extremes of my thoughts but have been self harming in small ways. I have spoken to my GP and to the team I was referred to about it and although sympathetic not overly concerned but sent me apps to download and tools to try when I get urges but at the minute I dont feel I want to stop its my way of dealing with intense emotions and I know I should find non injury ways but just struggling and its so hard, I have never felt like I am now and I get so emotional and tearful just thinking and talking about it. My wife has been a rock but I just havent had the courage to discuss self harm with her as I dont want her to over react or think that I cant be left alone.

Has anyone got experience of speaking to partners about self harm and was there anything that helped them to understand?

Thanks all
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
41,327
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hiya ,im so glad you have found the forum
i hope the medication and DBT helps x

maybe you could write him a little letter about your self harm ,explaining your reasns for doing it ,your emotions and feelings
i would like to know how you get on ,please let us know x Lu x
 
C

Crispie

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2021
Messages
27
Location
England
hiya ,im so glad you have found the forum
i hope the medication and DBT helps x

maybe you could write him a little letter about your self harm ,explaining your reasns for doing it ,your emotions and feelings
i would like to know how you get on ,please let us know x Lu x
A letter may be a good idea or atleast write down what im thinking of saying before I say it. Im sure she will be as supportive as always but it doesnt make it any easier to discuss
Thanks you for reaching out
 
C

Crispie

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2021
Messages
27
Location
England
So I went over what I was going to say how much I was going to open up about, it was one of those nights yesterday when I couldnt get out of my own head, that happens regularly constant conversations with myself, I end up writing in my journal.

Anyway me and the wife went to the local country park, got a coffee and went and sat in my safe space (a bench we go to everytime we are up there) it was so peaceful. I opened up about where my heads been at recently and what has been happening and she was amazing, she was just so caring and accepting with no judgement.

We both had a cry and a cuddle but acknowledging that this is a big step for me in this journey, she even said she was proud that I opened up to her. X
 
L

laural98

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 14, 2021
Messages
249
Location
Wales
Hi Crispie, Welcome here. I have just been reading your story and sorry to hear what you’ve been going through recently. Well done for explaining to your partner how you are feeling at the Moment. It is never an easy subject/situation to approach so you should definitely be proud x
 
C

Crispie

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2021
Messages
27
Location
England
Thank you I am so glad my GP linked me into this forum I have felt so lost and knowing there are others going through similar is really helping.
 
L

laural98

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 14, 2021
Messages
249
Location
Wales
It really is helpful. Hopefully you can find this a safe space for yourself where you can talk about anything - no judgements! X
 
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