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Where do I go from here? I'm isolated!

B

BurningPassion

Active member
Joined
Feb 26, 2009
Messages
25
Location
England, Midlands
Hi, I havent posted in a while. I bin busy...well kind of in some ways. I've been working everyday and studying for my career progression. I'm now a certified professional in IT :) I managed to get that accreditation under my belt a week ago. Sooooo, what now? Well, now i'm not studying as rigorously as I was I've fallen back into the cycle of deciding what to do with my life and where to go. And I'm real confused!
My position...i'm 25, working earning between 20-25k. But.....i'm still living at home with my mum and younger brother. Now b4 the assumptions start, I have lived away, for 4 years when I was at university but since I graduated and got my job, i've been living at home.....and I tell you, its wearing me down and sucked the life out of me. I feel so bored and isolated here. I have no friends that live locally, i have to travel to different cities to see them, which I enjoy as it gets me out of my shell occasionally, but I only do it once or twice every few months, I usually go and make a weekend of it.

I dunno, people reading this would probably be thinking, 'what the fuck are you complaining about? youre doing great!'....i'm complaining becuase i'm unhappy, lonely in some ways. I've been thinking for months, "as soon as I that work exam out the way, i'll move out and get a flat and regain my independance". But, i've passed it now, now i'm at the position i've forseen, my next step of getting a flat. So do I do it? I'm scared and have mixed feelings about it.

I viewed a studio flat to get my mind thinking about it. It is 350 pm, 1 bed apartment. Its in the same town as where I work. But, becuase its so cheap, its in a run down area, one of the those grotty estates where nobody speaks english. I'm scared that i'll move there and end up feeling even more isolated! I wont even have my brother and mum to talk to. The trouble is theres more too it.I dont even like the city where I work.

I'm, not even sure if i'm happy in my job. Dont get me wrong, i love IT, but in my job, i'm skimming the surface, my peers get to do all the fun stuff, i'm left with doing the administration crap. Im not really close to people at work, most of the guys in my office are married, have girlfriends, have kids, and are content. I'm the youngest, I have dreams and ambitions, they are settled and content, its not a good match. Also I dislike the culture there. i never have a chance to speak to people properly, there is no entertainment. No canteen even! People eat their sandwitches at there desks!!! I aint being a part of that, I just take my lunchbox to my car...stick the radio on or read a book and enjoy 1 hour of peace and quiet in my own company. Of course that makes me unsociable. If there was a canteen, I would eat there though, I do enjoy company when eating sometimes. Bah the moaning goes on. Remember this thread I started a while back?
http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/showthread.php?t=3838
Well i'm still at this position, nothing has changed apart from i've gained a career certification (which everyone doubted I would ever get). And got a little older. No pay rise yet, though I have an appraisel comming up, soon....


So do I start applying for dream jobs in other cities, more exciting places, like for instance...Bristol or somehwhere closer to friends? I could then use that as an excuse and motive to move out my mums. I'm currently stuck in a depressing midlands area. Maybe moving to a more vibrant place, I could draw off the positive energy and try to become happier. I know the longer I stay where I am, the more likely i'll sink back into depression. The only reason I postponed the depression was becuase I focussed on studying and inserting a direction in my life. But now i'm at a BIG junction, the longer I stall here, the more likely i'll slip away again....and another 2 years will pass by and i'll still be in the same routine...going work 9-5 & living with my mum at 27....I dont want that to happen.

I need help :-(
 
Q

quigon

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 6, 2009
Messages
58
Location
Portsmouth
Hi. Ok, you are not happy where you are doing what you do. Yet at the same time you don't seem to be doing anything toget your self out of that situation. You look at possible accommodation but concentrate more on the negative aspects. The thing is, to get out of where you are, you have to know which way to go. Might I suggest that you start of by sitting down and writing down what you would like to be doing in one year's time. Start by saying "on November 1st, 2010 I will be...." and then describe specifically where you would like to be living, what job you would like to be doing and with whom you would like to be socialising. Then with that in mind you can then start planning on what you need to do to get there.

If you want my help with this please get back to me.
 
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