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Where do I begin?

Catharsis

Catharsis

Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
20
Location
Ireland
I've been cutting myself off from certain friends for several months because I feel continuing these friendships may be doing me more harm than good.

These friends include:
-My best friend
-Someone I have known since school
-A friend I met through the above friend
-A couple of friends who come as a set [siblings]

These are pretty much my only friends outside of a couple of mates I live with and even though the friends I mentioned have taken advantage of me [and fair enough, I guess I've kind of let them], I still partly miss them. I guess this is my downfall though, since I am a sentimental fool who attaches signifinant value and importance to what others may disregard.

More detail is called for...

Best friend - I've known him for over 18 years. I could list all his faults which are many but that would be too tedious a read. The jist of it is that over the years we've had no shortage of arguments and periods where we haven't spoken. The last time we didn't speak ended in him stealing from me, which I would have never done to him. We are now speaking again but him stealing from me was not the first time he had betrayed my trust in a big way. I'm wondering if I am being foolish by continuing this friendship as I just don't feel I can trust him anymore. He stole from me, that's crossing a line. He gave back what he took once we were back in touch but there are so many times I've held back when he'd sent me malicious emails or texts during our arguments. Plus if he knew I was on medication [just recently trying meds for the first time], he'd likely be a condescending dick about it instead of supportive. He doesn't get that there's a scientific element to it.

I haven't been in touch because he only texted me to bleed me for info on things that would benefit him. All this despite the fact that I was having a tough time - a real friend wouldn't put themself before you. I just told him not to text because I couldn't handle interaction of any kind with anyone [a half truth]. I have considered just being direct about this so I can move past it.

This'll become a book if I talk about all the people here right away. Can someone please give me their point of view or maybe ask anything they wanna know? I'd like some opinions so I can weigh up different choices before making my mind up. Hoping to move this on and talk about the other people I mentioned as well.

Thank you!
 
Lion Heart

Lion Heart

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 24, 2009
Messages
739
Location
kent
i would forget them if they are making your life unhappy,i had a friend who stole from my house,he was a very good mate before this happend & i let him stay at my home,i fed him,gav him money,i was a very good mate to him & he shit on me,well he will never get the chance to do it again because i wont noting to do with him,i dont care if he stole my CD because he was on drugs & needed money to buy them,he should not have done it full stop,he should have stole from someone ealse,not his good mate who looks out for him,i hate him now and i always will PIG

dont let me make your mind up for you though,see what other have got to say first too

take care catharsis
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
hey Catharsis

he doesnt sound like a friend to me

if the trust is gone then there is not much more you can do with this friendship. trust is important, you dont sound happy and though stepping back from him maybe tough, you really have to think of yourself and put yourself first
 
Catharsis

Catharsis

Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
20
Location
Ireland
Sorry to hear that, no-more-weed. And I'll definitely decide for myself but that's good advice, thanks.

Unremarkable, it may be worth pointing out that this friend and I both believed in many of the same things throughout our lives from a very young age. We were outsiders.

When we patched things up, it was good to sit with my friend and just talk again, laughing over silly things and believe that everything was alright for a time.

Then the shit kind of started to hit the fan for me personally but rather than show any empathy, he tried using my shitty situation as a way to get something for himself. It isn't the first time he's done such a thing either.

This kind of exploitative behaviour makes me wonder if he fits the description of someone who is machiavellian. Sometimes I think yes but other times maybe not so much - but if so, I'll quote Tony Montana by saying "I don't need that shit in my life!"

Thanks for the replies, guys. Anyone else?
 
Catharsis

Catharsis

Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
20
Location
Ireland
Anyone else have anything to say?

In a nutshell, I just feel that there are certain things these people will never understand. I feel as if they will never accept me as I am when all the time I either give to them or they kep taking from me and never giving back. Never considering what I need or when I'm having a rough time.

It's not about holding grudges from my point of view. The way I see it, enough is enough and it's time to move on and just let certain people go.

I guess what I need to know is...how? I live in a very small city - more like a village at times than a city - and it's hard to not bump into people you wish to avoid and have awkward moments. Is it cold of me to want to cut these people off and get on with my life for myself? They're never there for me anyway, it seems.
 
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