When you right off your last friend due to schizophrenia

fazza

fazza

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#1
Had my best friend for 33 years. Now lost. He just dose not get it. He never answers my calls never calls me back. Says he is afraid that I might go "schizo" like I am some kind of knife attacker.

Ah well. I have now only my wife. All alone. I can tell you it sucks. The life I had and the life I have now. I used to be popular a good guy to be around all gone with a diagnosis. Now I am that guy that people talk about. The risk factor the threat. When in reality I am just me. The same guy you used to know and love being around. Just lost in my own world. A frightening world but you just don't get it.

FUCK EM

Andrew
Your old pal
 
fazza

fazza

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#2
Lost my fight to schizophrenia. Its been a blast. Cant say its been a pleasure but its sure been fun along the way. Nearly had you with the clozapine but my neutrophils could not cope. haloperidol could not keep you silent. You win. I surrender to all of your terms.
 
FunkTheFear

FunkTheFear

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#3
I'm sorry your friend has let you down :(
You've been through a lot of stress lately, I hope you can feel better soon x
 
fazza

fazza

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#4
Thanks funk.
Don't need friends anyway. Nothing left not even pride. Schizophrenia has taken everything away from me. Positivity means nothing. been positive for months yet it delivers nothing but heartache. Just want to evaporate in to the vastness of space.
 
FunkTheFear

FunkTheFear

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#5
I know what you mean when keeping positive and looking on the bright side just gets to an end point and comes crashing down. It becomes so bloody tiring and pointless and impossible to keep up.
In time you will get back up though, I hope you can find some light to get you through the dark times (sounds corny but can't think how to reword it). Take care of yourself xx
 
fazza

fazza

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#6
Thanks funk..
So bloody tired of it all. Cant make sense of it. Had such a good run now this. Feel hopeless
 
FadeToBlack

FadeToBlack

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#7
I thankfully lost most of my school friends as they all took drugs and I got clean.

I then found new people I had known, and they were my friends until I got diagnosed.

People can be really fickle, and they disappeared on me too.

I don't care anymore, but at the time I was pretty bent out of shape about it.

Time is a healer. I learnt now that it has been about 8 years with no friends that you're far better off alone than dealing with judgemental and horrible people masquerading as 'friends'....

I told them my diagnosis, and it led to being scapegoated and ignored - I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
 
R

ramboghettouk

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#8
what gets me isn't the lies they told or the lack of hope, i'm coming to a point were i'm grateful to have a roof over my head, as one social worker told me to be grateful for, the no of homeless at least 3 women in my unemployment group are sofa surfing now, as for the homeless men

i just wish i'd been told the truth from the start, as one friend said all those years ago what they did to him was vicious, they built up his hopes then they themselves dashed them, then they left him to face the consequences

they encouraged me to come to london promising normal and job then the only job i could get was social services were the same sort of social workers who told me i could lead a normal life, had no doubt i was severely ill and unfir for workm then i was sacked and left on the estate from hell without support to deteriate

but yes at the moment i've got a roof and the money to pay for the heating and food, that nay not last
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

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#9
When I became mentally ill I lost all my friends because I isolated myself and stopped calling them and I stopped answering their calls. I guess it's my own fault. Then I moved back to my old home town to have family support. Here, an old friend from childhood and high school made contact with me. Now I'm lucky to have him as my one and only good friend. I feel a little guilty that I never call him. He's always the one to call me and invite me to do things. He gets me out of the house and doing things. He's a good friend because if him, not because of me. I should try to do better. He's such a good person, he deserves for me to try harder.
 
R

ramboghettouk

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#10
When I became mentally ill I lost all my friends because I isolated myself and stopped calling them and I stopped answering their calls. I guess it's my own fault. Then I moved back to my old home town to have family support. Here, an old friend from childhood and high school made contact with me. Now I'm lucky to have him as my one and only good friend. I feel a little guilty that I never call him. He's always the one to call me and invite me to do things. He gets me out of the house and doing things. He's a good friend because if him, not because of me. I should try to do better. He's such a good person, he deserves for me to try harder.
try harder to do what, as the nurse at uni said no one gets better from schitzoprenia and very few get work, mostly role models that basically prove my point
 
fazza

fazza

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#11
Went to see my so called best mate. Got a cold response I explained that I was ill. No phone call from him since not even to see if I am ok. Nothing. Can't believe it.

So annoying
 
FadeToBlack

FadeToBlack

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#12
try harder to do what, as the nurse at uni said no one gets better from schitzoprenia and very few get work, mostly role models that basically prove my point
Actually I know a few people with Schizophrenia that work in banks, insurance and marketing - I am one of them.

For me I had no where to live and was discharged from hospital and left waiting for months for help from the government.

I gave up on them helping me and had to start working. I went from two days as a temp and now I work four days.

Working actually helps, as I know from when I am alone off work with nothing to focus on, those are dark days....
 
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boudreauj4

boudreauj4

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#13
Rambo, I meant that I should probably call him once in a while instead of only him calling me.
 
R

ramboghettouk

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#14
Actually I know a few people with Schizophrenia that work in banks, insurance and marketing - I am one of them.

For me I had no where to live and was discharged from hospital and left waiting for months for help from the government.

I gave up on them helping me and had to start working. I went from two days as a temp and now I work four days.

Working actually helps, as I know from when I am alone off work with nothing to focus on, those are dark days....
and i know a lot of people with schitzoprenia who don't work, theres a lot in mental health places, one guy in my unemployment group says he's only worked a year since 1977 and he wishes they'd get off his back, he only said that when moving and hasn't once mentioned a diagnosis, maybe he's a scrounger

theres always the exception that proves the rule
 
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ramboghettouk

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#15
got another lettter stressing me up, maybe i should get out of the situation and get a job, i just don't see it as feasible and when i did turn up at the job centre some employee said he thought i was unfit for work
 
FadeToBlack

FadeToBlack

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#16
I was just making the point that there is no rule, and people do work. 8% of people to be exact. It is possible. I personally spent 6 months just focusing inwards on my symptoms and it wasn't helping. Having something to do is better than any rubbish that comes out of a therapists mouth.

Job centres are rubbish to your other post. They never helped me at all. I was lucky that I got a temp job where family works, and now I work four days. It can happen.
 
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ramboghettouk

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#17
you had a very supportive family including family in work, it's who you know and long term schitzos like me don't know many in jobs

was at my unemployment group mind employment women turned up to give a talk, i asked if she could help, she said she wasn't qualified and would refer me on, i asked to who she said she couldn't discuss it in public

i can imagine some last hope place were no one gets a job,,but people are kept from wondering the street, i thought i was the sort of mind guy going to mind she was paid to help but seems not