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when you have nothing left to fight with

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anthonyp100

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2019
Messages
5
Location
chester
hi i was hoping for some advice and knowledge, ive been really ill over a the last few months , feel really nauseas ( although not sick ) each time i have gone to the doctors they have said anxiety si causing the physical issues, now my physical issues would probably take me 3 days to type them all out, the ones causing me the most discomfort is the nasuea and dizzyness lightheaded wind bloating total weird feeling legs like they will give up at any moment ( i suffer from IBS ) which i wont lie does set a fear of something bad is wrong and or can will happen , the nosies my stomach make are insane like litrally is sound like a volcano is exploding which is accompanied by the nausea, in the last few weeks i have seen at least 3 doctors , i have had two sets of blood tests done and also a poo sample which have all come back as ok the last test doctor has said perfect bloods. this should ease your mind of worry right , i mean i have suffered from anxiety 15+ years i thought i knew the 'beast' it was yes no matter how hard it try i am coming back to that there is something physcially wrong with me each time these bouts of sickness occur, i suppose i think i want to go to a and e and just breakdown with how physically sick i feel but this in the past has become a crutch to me and i fight these thought with everything i have ( still not been to a and e ) im not on anxiety meds as i had reaction to pencillin about 18 months ago and not have some sort of mental barrier with taking anything new. i mean i suppose what im looking for is advice can anxiety make you feel this physically ill or should i be really forcing more from doctors and help to check other things i just dont know. i jsut feel i dont have anything left to fight with im exhausted im scared and i just want to feel like me, but i also feel like a burden to life society everyone , i suppose im asking for advice as to what i do i know i should take the meds they have perscribed but im scared they will make me feel worse ( i certainly know how they have made me feel before ) i know acceptance can sometimes be the greatest hurdle i just cannot see the light t moment i see no way forward and i dont know how to get that im a fighter and its like i have just given up totally. sorry for the waffle and my poor spelling i hope some here can guide me in the correct direction.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,429
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Has the doctor done every test they can think of to find out what's wrong? I saw you said they did blood tests and poo tests, not sure if they run out of tests they can do or not, i'm not a medical person :hug:
 
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anthonyp100

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2019
Messages
5
Location
chester
i think so yes , sent to gastroentorology month ago which did blood tests poo tests which they were also saying its anxiety stress related :( not doctor myself so im unsure what else they can test for, also had blood tests this week all perfect i was told
 
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anthonyp100

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2019
Messages
5
Location
chester
had dipstick test also week last saturday which also came back clear :( so exhausted so fristrated and just meh thank you for response it is appreciated
 
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gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
369
Location
Delaware, USA
Hi Anthony. So have you done anything to treat the anxiety if that is the likely primary cause? Breathing exercises, meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy, medications? How is your sleeping? clearly your eating is messed up.

We all go through some really rough periods, I've gone through my fair share too, its hard to see the other side when your in it, but do try to remember this is another side!
 
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anthonyp100

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2019
Messages
5
Location
chester
so ill be first to admit im not taking anti anxiety meds apart from diazepam 2mg which i am taking very infrequently , , the issue with tummy origianly started with sertraline and they thought potentially this caused it, i am trying deep breathing but i wont lie it is pretty futile at the moment it seems cool it works for 20-30mins them woosh physical symptoms are back and them panic mode , what do i do what is wrong thought spinning and such. I mean i no this is potentially anxiety sypmtoms. i have ben on waiting list for teir 4 phycotherapy for two years and when i finally thought i got somewhere in januray they said although i need it it would be another possibly 12 months before i would be seen. i currently have venlafaxine tablets that they want me to take but i wont lie im totally petrified of taking them i feel like i cannot cope at all now i also no for a while these will make me worse especially my tummy ( i have taking before many many years ago ) so ok the sleep is the worst ever although last week, two weeks it has improved , i am sleeping around 3 am waking around 10 and snoozing for 30mins to hour around 5-6pm im exhausted by then and just cannot force myself to keep fighting. this is the point that scares me the most i have felt so bad from anxiety before where i cannot see the otherside but usually im sweaty heart palp racing pulse ect which i can logically place down to anxiety. this feels different im lucid nausueas feeling like i cant get warm no how hard i try or how many clothes i wear, i no i need anxiety meds i just have a sheer mental block and fear about taking them and i just dont understand the why i have taken these tablets before i have taken other tablets but since a reaction to pencillion i am totally gripped in fear about medication maybe this is contributing to me not feeling better i just dont no. litrally 48 hours ago i was sat in my doctors with them telling me my bloods are all perfect yet now i am almost convinced there has to be something physically wrong and i should go to hospitol to get myself checked i just dont understand how everything ive built to combat anxiety can get so unravelled ive forced myself to eat the last week or so not great amounts little but often yet yesterday when i start to feel sick i cant eat and then i fear the eating due to it making my gastro issues worse.
 
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gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
369
Location
Delaware, USA
Hmm, I don't understand that UK system for therapy, I guess there are just far too many people needing it compared to resources available. I assume you could get to a private therapist faster, but would be far more expensive. At this point though it maybe worth the money if you at all have it, since you are clearly not doing as well.

But notice that you do say you feel better for a small period of time, even if its only 20-30 minutes. That right there tells me *you* are in control and you can feel better all on your own! Don't neglect this important milestone. I understand exactly how you feel, breathing exercises for me when I feel really bad work about the same duration, and then everything is bad. It is difficult and exhausted to continue to fight it. It takes time to learn to try not to fight it and to try to accept it.

Try for today to simply accept you are going to feel badly, and think that it might be OK to simply feel bad for the day, the week, let's even just call it the rest of the month. Is it really so bad to simply accept the physical symptoms just as you would if you had a really bad flu for a few weeks? Think of it that way if it helps.

You can try meditation as well, for me again as a begininer it may not help for very long, but it is helpful. Physical activity is helpful. Get up, move around. Mix these activities. Do you have a distraction technique? TV? reading? exercise? go for a walk, get out somewhere and just people watch to distract yourself.

Grounding techniques -- https://drsarahallen.com/7-ways-to-calm/
or just google there are a lot of other good references.

These won't work for very long periods of time, but if you practice them over time, and practice being OK feeling bad, accepting that you will feel bad for a time, you may slowly start to feel better.

If you think you can tackle some more techniques on your own without a therapist or feel you need to, try a cognitive behavioral therapy book. The one I recommend is the "anxiety and phobia workbook" by edmund bourne. Actually going to a therapist is much much better, but the book is a great start if you can't.

I hope that helps, feel free to ask me any questions. Realize that I felt the same as you about 4 months ago. I still have some rough days, and mornings are often very hard for me, but I don't feel as badly for as long as I did. You can get through this! Hang in there.
 
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gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
369
Location
Delaware, USA
BTW I have health anxieties and IBS... I've been able to completely calm the IBS by making a lot of diet changes (intolerant and allergic to a few foods), and by targeting the anxieties with cognitive behavioral therapy.

That is not to say my anxiety is cured, it likes to move around, and it turned into anxiety attacks, depression and other things, but it stays further away from my stomach now which is an improvement, but only after many years of working on cognitive behavioral therapy.
 
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