When will it end?

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PhilG

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Mar 13, 2019
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#1
Hi, I've had depression for over 20 years, where I've had good days & bad. The last couple of months have been really bad. I broke down & said something that I shouldn't have to a dear friend. I know that I upset her, but she flatly refuses to accept that what I said had no meaning & was a result of my breakdown. Now she doesn't want to know me. I feel like I've been discarded like a piece of rubbish. I feel like the only way to stop feeling like this is to hope I don't wake up.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#4
hi ,welcome
we all say things we regret ,it sounds like this person matters to you? tell her again you regret what you said ,maybe buy her a little card and explain how you get when you are ill

for example i used to say loads of things to my mummy i regret now she has gone but she always forgave me
if this person is worth knowing i believe they could find it in their heart to forgive or if not forgive try and understand what you said
you are very welcome here
love Lu x
 
daffy

daffy

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#5
I would get her an ‘I’m sorry ‘ card and write a short note saying how deeply you regret what you said and that you miss her friendship and would it be possible to meet and talk it over. Obviously it does depend on what you’ve said as to whether she can forgive you.
 
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PhilG

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#6
I'm afraid that ship has sailed. I am Persona non Grata. For the last few weeks I've been tormented by it & I have tried to talk, but all lines of communication were closed. I have had to go off sick from work because we are colleagues. It came to a head today when we had a meeting with our manager, in the forlorn hope of mediation & reconciliation, she was having none of it & left me feeling like a chastised child. It's difficult to explain how that makes me feel & I honestly appreciate that life ain't a bed of roses for her either, but why? why? why?
 
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PhilG

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#7
In order to put some flesh on the bones as it were. We have got along brilliantly for almost 5 years. It was actually a pleasure to go to work?? When she told me she was leaving, I was distraught & suffered a "mental & emotional collapse". As a friend she offered to listen, assuring me that she wouldn't judge. I expressed to her how much she meant to me & she took it all out of context. Believing that I "had developed feelings that go beyond friendship". I hadn't.
 
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JCPraha

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Aug 27, 2018
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#8
Hello Phil. I know how you feel. I have just had a similar experience with my sister. There is really nothing you, or I can do about it. I feel bad about it, but I cannot change another person's reaction, nor can you. We simply have to accept their decision and move on the best we can. I know it is painful, but human beings can have very unpredictable behavior. Even those we have know for years, can turn away from us. I empathize with you, but there really is nothing more you (or I) can do.
 
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PhilG

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#9
Hi, thanks for your reply. It is sad & somewhat ridiculous. I agree with what you say about unpredictable behaviour, I & probably you, given the similarities, feel a huge sense of injustice. "People in glass houses" springs to mind!!
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#10
All you can do is move on as best you can if you've tried explaining and she doesn't want to know :hug: