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when somebody is going to leave you?

Parayana

Parayana

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
3,040
@Fairy Lucretia, your worrying over nothing again Honey. X. And as for splitting up well you don't it depends on the people involved and the circumstances. Different for everyone and every relationship.
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
615
Location
Scotland
Well it has never happened to me. Why do you ask Fairy Lu? What is happening? How are you feeling?
 
Parayana

Parayana

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Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
3,040
@Fairy Lucretia, its just a thought and a feeling, doesn't mean it's going to happen, it's just a worry habit caused by BPD and your other MH issues which were brought about by the way your dad treated you and your mum when you were a kid. When I'm less tired I'll give you my new number and I'll tell you my story about my childhood, I had a violent and psychologically abusive mother and about how I learned to cope with my depression, paranoia and anxiety.

Your happy with hermit, don't let your fucker of a dad get in the way of that! :). Big hugs sweetie. X.
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
615
Location
Scotland
Right. I understand. It is difficult moving close to someone and becoming vulnerable. I guess vulnerability can feel quite a bit like anxiety too. I have been there. It is very uncomfortable. But the thing is - we have to ask ourselves are there arguments? Do I enjoy talking and spending time with this person? If I feel scared about other matters do I get reassurance from my partner? Yes? Then I can try to open up about how sad it would make me to lose him? Do you have self soothing choices that you use Fairy? Tonight might be a good time to follow them through xx
 
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EstherRose94

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Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
2,043
Location
USA
idk if I can do this anymore
im so scared

is it better to leave before you are left
I feel like I need to OD
i don’t think it’s better to leave before you’re left. What if he was planning to stay?

that being said I do think it’s better to take things slowly and to go at a pace you’re okay with than to try to handle a serious relationship when you might need to take some time learning how to keep yourself calm and happy first

Any decision you make should be based on what’s best for you and what you really want. Try to make that choice when you’re not feeling scared or stressed.
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,784
Location
Florida
Hey Lu Maddie will never leave you.... And what about the new cat? Lu people die and that is when they leave you. Try not to be so frighten. Love you Jules
 
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EstherRose94

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Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
2,043
Location
USA
Also Lu I’ve felt this way before. It’s very confusing I know. There might be a part of you that thinks that everyone you love will leave. That isn’t true though. Hermits not thinking of leaving. But being really close to someone new makes those old fears resurface.

I didn’t know I had so much to learn about myself until I met my bf and realized that I’m-extremely emotional and sensitive. I honestly thought I was Cold and calculating before. But now I remember: I used to be super emotional when I was a little kid. It’s not easy trying to be an adult with your five year old self making guest appearances.

I’ve considered leaving my bf before he can leave me too. I’ve never done it and he’s neverleft. Under my fear and confusion around relationships I have real love for him as a person. It’s hard to accept that the good thing you have could potentially end some day and I’m still working on that but it doesn’t really justify throwing it away now.
 
Parayana

Parayana

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Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
3,040
@Fairy Lucretia , Oh Lu, trust me I've been in a relationship with two borderlines one classic, one quiet, honey don't worry your not a handful. Personally I liked the intensity of my relationships with people who had BPD, Steph was amazing, if it wasn't for her boozing to deal with her emotions and my wanting to get mine under control we never would have split, not a day goes by when I don't think about her! :).
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
4,323
Location
UK
Lu - it feels strange being happy, doesn't it?

So you think it will be taken away...

Relax and be happy, love. You deserve this happiness and there's nothing to be afraid of xxx
 
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