When saying hello is hard to do

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BatDuck

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Aug 3, 2019
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This is a bit scary for me, I just realised I haven't "met" or had a proper conversation with new people in quite some time.

I joined with a glimmer of hope that this might help me in someway.

I suffer from high anxiety episodes (I've probably always had low level anxiety, I was cripplingly shy as a child). My current episode (4th in a monthly series of them) has hit hard and I've lost almost all strength to fight it or see it through, and it's made me feel pretty low. It's not acting like past anxiety episodes and I even had what I think was panic attack yesterday evening when I was playing an Xbox game with my other half - it scared the crap out of me I though I was going to faint (never fainted in my life). I can't understand why I was feeling worse when I was "relaxing". I don't normally suffer from panic attacks, in fact I think it was only the third one I've ever had, the last being over 3 years ago when I was under a lot of stress but that didn't make me feel like I was blacking out. I managed sleep thanks to very little sleep the night before, 20mg amitriptyline (for nerve pain) and a sip of whiskey. But I woke up so emotional, I spent the first hour or so bursting into tears.

Sorry, I tend to waffle a lot. Being brief is not a strong point of mine. I haven't been on a forum for 10 years, and never for mental health, so I don't really know where to start.
Why is saying hello even hard? I've considered deleting this all and starting again, more than once. Or just not posting anything. But, now this is hard for me, even with the most wonderful and supportive other half, I feel so alone in this.
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

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Anxiety is a lonely experience, no-one I've tried to explain it to really understands, it's gotten a lot better for me nowadays, because I've found the best way to overcome it is to keep ultra-busy in life, making plans & not staying in too much.

I was like you when I was young, yes shy & quiet, but without anxiety, all the bad things happened miles away & to other people.

I'd never felt so scared in my life when I developed anxiety, but you have to remind yourself that it's just a feeling. It is frustrating I know, but even the most well intentioned people can struggle to understand, it's a case of trying to find something you can find fascinating or something you can do to look forward to, anxiety enters peoples lives, but I can assure you that it doesn't stick around forever.
 
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BatDuck

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Thanks for the replies. Just talking is good but it's hard. I know it's just a feeling. I'm a realist. I know I can be happy, I know what it feels like. I know what calm feels like. I was all of those things just a few days ago. I fought through it last month, went for a good walk or two. Found some peace - that helped a lot. I'm struggling even with basic stuff this time. It's just got too much.
I don't know how much I should go into it in this thread. I feel like I should write it all down, anything and everything to see if I can make any sense of it. I don't know whether to do it on paper, or try to start a post on here about it. I'm having trouble structuring my thoughts for it to make sense.
 
HauntedWitch

HauntedWitch

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I can't understand why I was feeling worse when I was "relaxing".
Hello and welcome! That feeling worse while relaxing thing is familiar to me from the past. All the worries I was ordinarily too busy for would come back with a vengeance whenever I rested or tried to do something fun with friends, family etc. And at night, sleep became difficult if not impossible. Both CBT and journaling were useful in controlling it.
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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i try to nod a few times when i see someone then try nod and say hello. Then start a small convo a remark then go onto a small convo but that is just me. At times i just didnt talk to people you have to expose yourself to what you find hard. Now i dont mean full hog 100 percent deep end but wet toes. Then stick in a foot etc gradually increase. Every small goal is a achievement it is a part of the fully picture. Hope this helps
 
Warrior

Warrior

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:welcome: @BatDuck to the forum and lovely to have you with us..members are very helpful since I joined and anxiety to live with is a pure nightmare with in itself :hug:
 
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BatDuck

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Messages
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Location
England
Thanks everyone. I seem to come through the worst of this episode now and am finding these forums really helpful.
I've realised even the stupidest things put my anxiety up. Like writing replies to threads on here, I have small worries about saying the wrong thing or coming across like I'm something I'm not - it's silly really. I think it might be because it's something new that I'm not used to.
It also takes me much longer than is probably necessary to construct a reply. I even time out the reply editors when I realise, despite viewing a preview, that there's a grammatical error or I've missed out a word and then end up adding a whole new paragraph :unsure: I have to proof read everything, always.

Anyway, its seems silly to start another post just to ask this, does anyone have trouble working out what header or section to use for new posts they want to start?

Oh and, are there any rules I've missed on reviving older ones?
 
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