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When is it okay to not go to meetings/appointments?

H

herbcookie

Member
Joined
Feb 17, 2019
Messages
17
Location
Scotland
I'm not sure what my limits are. if I can leave the house I should be fine to go to a meeting right? even though I have this reasoning, my support worker doesn't agree with me, says I'm putting too much on my plate and overwhelming myself. I feel like I should be capable of more than he is suggesting. how do you know when to say you can't make it?
 
L

Lou882

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Durham UK
I suppose you need to consider what has been happening after you attend meetings. If it's causing a multi- day energy crash or something then perhaps it needs to be managed more so it can be more sustainable? The only thing that I would say is give up on the "shoulds" - I think it can be hard to comprehend just how impacting mental health difficulties are. Striving for the idea of what we feel we "should" be able to do, rather than working with what we "can" do is often counterproductive.
 
Mal84

Mal84

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 15, 2020
Messages
619
Location
Hovering in the Atlantic
I'm not sure what my limits are. if I can leave the house I should be fine to go to a meeting right? even though I have this reasoning, my support worker doesn't agree with me, says I'm putting too much on my plate and overwhelming myself. I feel like I should be capable of more than he is suggesting. how do you know when to say you can't make it?
It can be frustrating but something anybody with they have mental health issues or not can put too much on their plate.

Maybe make some sort of deal with your support worker that meets in the middle? You back off doing what they consider too much but not as much as your support worker wants so for example....

You want to go to the Supermarket, coffee shop, the meeting and to see a friend but the support worker wants you to not go to the meeting, supermarket and wants to half your time in the coffee shop.

You meet in the middle and go to your friend, half the time in the coffee shop and go to the supermarket.

You see how that goes and then come up with another plan for another time.

Does that make sense?
 
H

herbcookie

Member
Joined
Feb 17, 2019
Messages
17
Location
Scotland
It can be frustrating but something anybody with they have mental health issues or not can put too much on their plate.

Maybe make some sort of deal with your support worker that meets in the middle? You back off doing what they consider too much but not as much as your support worker wants so for example....

You want to go to the Supermarket, coffee shop, the meeting and to see a friend but the support worker wants you to not go to the meeting, supermarket and wants to half your time in the coffee shop.

You meet in the middle and go to your friend, half the time in the coffee shop and go to the supermarket.

You see how that goes and then come up with another plan for another time.

Does that make sense?
he said that going to see him and going to an anxiety management meeting on the same day was too much for me just because I happened to be in a bad mood that day. there was nothing else for me to do that day. it was the first time in a month that I'd left the house (aside from food shop trips and one volunteering event) so I felt like I'd had a month to prepare to attend this meeting. I know they said recovery is a slow process, but meetings once a month is "too much"?? I'm on disability payments due to my mental illnesses and can't work. at this rate I'll never work at all because people keep babying me.
 
T

tonggau

Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Hong Kong
Honestly trust yourself (hard I know). Try and observe both how you feel during the events and after. My own experience with depression is that getting out of it will require going through discomfort but as confidence and coping mechanisms get stronger, the amount of stuff you can handle gets better and it creates an upward spiral.
 
Mal84

Mal84

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 15, 2020
Messages
619
Location
Hovering in the Atlantic
he said that going to see him and going to an anxiety management meeting on the same day was too much for me just because I happened to be in a bad mood that day. there was nothing else for me to do that day. it was the first time in a month that I'd left the house (aside from food shop trips and one volunteering event) so I felt like I'd had a month to prepare to attend this meeting. I know they said recovery is a slow process, but meetings once a month is "too much"?? I'm on disability payments due to my mental illnesses and can't work. at this rate I'll never work at all because people keep babying me.
That is a bit ott of your support worker, maybe he thought your bad mood was because of anxiety or something?
 
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