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When does it stop?

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Levi

Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2021
Messages
7
Location
NY
I’ve dealt with mental health issues since I was 7 years old. 20 years later and I just want to know when does it end? When does it stop? How long can I live a life that I don’t want to even live? How many days can I self harm until my body says it’s had enough? How many more parts of my body am I going to harm just to feel something? The imbalance in my head translates into my life. Nothing ever feels right. Nothing ever feels like it’s meant to be. Happy isn’t even a goal anymore, just merely existing without having 1 suicidal thoughts is the goal now. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. It’s been years. No matter what I do, where I go, who I meet, I’m still this pathetic excuse for a person struggling every single day to get out of bed in the morning and take care of my responsibilities. I’m so miserable here I can’t even give enough detail on how unlucky I feel everyday to be alive. I’m not grateful or thankful every morning to open my eyes and be alive. I’m remorseful. When does it stop?
 
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lifecangetbetter

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
663
Location
California
im in the same boat as you. i dont think something magically will change with us, i think we have to try to adapt and get more comfortable with ourselves and our surroundings. i think nothing changes except for our perspective. ive been trying to work on gratefulness by thinking of it more often and trying not to pity myself so much. you can try practicing that too. but for now, get rid of any bad habits (if you have any) bit by bit we can get better about ourselves
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
489
Location
Moominvalley
I'm in a similar situation. All I can do is take medication and continue with therapy. I think speaking to someone helps me a bit, but only a little. Have you tried therapy? What hobbies do you have? I noticed that for me, whenever I'm feeling really terrible, I just go back to my interests and try to focus on them. Drawing, reading, watching interesting documentaries. It doesn't completely get rid of negative thoughts, and sometimes I still feel depressed. But at least it gives me something to do. Maybe you can try that. I hope you find something that works for you, and I hope you feel better. Being on this forum helps me, so I hope it helps you too.
 
TheSadnessWillLastForever

TheSadnessWillLastForever

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 28, 2019
Messages
79
Location
Ohio
Yeah I feel the same. The meds and therapy I'm receiving helps tho. I still have more bad days then good but I look at it like this: the good things don't always soften the bad things but vice versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. Live for the good days (however rare) the good moments, the little things. I hope you can find some joy in those
 

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