- Feb 10, 2021
I’ve dealt with mental health issues since I was 7 years old. 20 years later and I just want to know when does it end? When does it stop? How long can I live a life that I don’t want to even live? How many days can I self harm until my body says it’s had enough? How many more parts of my body am I going to harm just to feel something? The imbalance in my head translates into my life. Nothing ever feels right. Nothing ever feels like it’s meant to be. Happy isn’t even a goal anymore, just merely existing without having 1 suicidal thoughts is the goal now. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. It’s been years. No matter what I do, where I go, who I meet, I’m still this pathetic excuse for a person struggling every single day to get out of bed in the morning and take care of my responsibilities. I’m so miserable here I can’t even give enough detail on how unlucky I feel everyday to be alive. I’m not grateful or thankful every morning to open my eyes and be alive. I’m remorseful. When does it stop?