- Jun 22, 2014
I grew up in a drug culture in my home. My mother was a drug dealer and I found out in my adult life that she taught me to smoke a joint when I was four. That shocked me. Growing up I had easy access to all kinds of drugs and used them along with alcohol. I got sober at 18 and it took a few years before I was back using. I didn't know I was bipolar until I was 35 and learned substance abuse can be common. The past month and a half I've been drinking. Not my drug of choice but easy access. I have just made a commitment to stop-- I know alcohol isn't a good combination with my meds and it has upset my husband and I don't want to hurt myself or others. I'm feeling insecure about this choice because the compulsions can be so strong and I feel better under the influence. It helps me deal with loneliness and that empty, depressed feeling. I'm just struggling with stressful situations making it more difficult. But I am hopeful I can do it.