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What's wrong with me?

trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
I feel terrible just now. I have a young friend that I have been telling everything to and have let him really close to me. I have very strong feelings for him to the point of obsession. He knows about this, and although he has been very good and stuck by me through my latest MH problems, he has said he doesn't have the same sort of feelings for me, which I can accept. I am already very happily married with two sons almost his age.

However, I learned a couple of days ago that he now has a girlfriend. Part of me is really pleased for him, but part of me is devastated. I spent all that afternoon crying and was very depressed. Now today I see that he has added that he is in a relationship with her on facebook. He is a very private person so to do that he must be serious. Again I feel devastated, though I've not let on to him; in fact I indicated "I like this" to the announcement, for his sake.

What the hell's going on here? How can I get over this?
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Since my last post he has told me that he was going to be spending Christmas Day with this girl then going up to his parents Boxing Day, presumably with her. It's all happened so fast and I now feel I've lost him. I feel so sad about that.

This isn't the first time I've had this sort of attachment to a man and I really wish I knew how to stop this happening. :cry:
 
S

starfish

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
655
Location
country cottage
trombonebabe

i understand how you feel. i have ,still have the same attachment to someone i have confided in. i am now being blocked from speaking to this person[ a mh worker] and it hurts like hell. i have started a talking therapy and maybe will get over this.i have formed attachments like this since childhood, i think it is some sort of . insecurity i feel for you i really do.:hug:
 
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skunkmonkey

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
8
Hey Trombonebabe,

I know how you feel. I recently opened up to an old girlfriend that I used to date many years ago. She's married now with several kids so she's definitely off limits.

There's nothing wrong with you. You are feeling what every person feels when they allow themselves to bare their soul to another person and find that person accepts them fully despite their faults. That's why so many patients end up having feelings for their therapists. It is emotional intimacy on a level that you don't normally experience with your casual friends.

It doesn't change your responsibilities or mean that you don't love your husband. You just may not have opened yourself up to him like that before.
 
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