What's wrong with me?

[hollypparker]

Hi. I have been told that I am not Aspergers, but I have aspergers like symptoms.

I am not very good in social situations. When I get nervous I ramble on continually. I can't understan body language in other people, or tone of voice. I find sarcasm particuarly hard. I also sometimes say things in the wrong tone of voice.

Today the head of school at my university wanted to see me. Apparently I don't do things the way they are meant to be done at Uni.
He said the tutors are saying I demand too much attention and ask them questions in class. I want to know why I am the one who takes up their attention, but other students talk to the tutors for ages and it's fine. I just do the same as them but it's wrong.

I always seem to do things wrong, no matter how hard I try. And I don't fit in, ever.

I have trouble with change, but it is the little changes and unexpected changes that bother me most.

However, I have been told that I am too imaginative to suffer from Aspergers. One guy just said that I just talk alot, but I am sure it is more.

There are lots of ways I am weird. Is there someone here who can help me? I am getting very stressed at uni now. I don't want to go back after reading week because of the tutors.

 

[daffy]

Hi and welcome Holly.

Sorry your having probs. I do think the only person qualified to help you will be your GP, or maybe your uni has a councellor that you can talk to

Good luck

 

[hollypparker]

Hey.

I see a councillor at the uni. I don't feel like she is helping me though because I am not suffering from depression or anything like that. It feels weird talking to her. I only went to see her because my brother passed away in October. But I feel like I am wasting her time. Like I said, I do not suffer from depression.

 

[hollypparker]

Oh, and thanks for the welcome note

 

[Ashami]

Hello Holly

You may or may not have depression but losing a brother such a short time ago has I am sure left you with grief to bear. I am so sorry for your loss. This is reason enough to continue seeing your counsellor.

My first thought is perhaps you suffer from low self-esteem, which may be a cause or a symptom or something deeper. Aspergers or not, it may be an idea to get yourself onto a confidence building / assertion course or even something alternative like Tai Chi? Anything that makes you feel more positive about yourself could help.

Also, 'weirdness' is only a very subjective perception. We are all weird to someone. It is hard when you feel you don't fit in, but believe me the world is crammed full with black sheep that I am sure it's the white ones who could be weird

 

[Dollit]

Hi sweetheart - losing a brother is a big thing. Mine died when he was 21, 10 days before me and my sister's birthdays and it affected both of us for a long time. I don't think it was very helpful to tell you that you don't have Asperger's but have similar symptoms - that is appalling. Your university should be helping you to define what they mean by you're taking too much time up in class - how are you supposed to modify a behaviour without knowing what it is. And you're not weird, you're different and there is nothing wrong with being different. I'm glad I'm not the same as some of the people I know. Keep coming back here Holly and we'll do our best by you.