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What's wrong with me?

A

Azzamartin199510

New member
Joined
Dec 11, 2018
Messages
3
Im 23 and When I'm in a conversation Like I'm talking all okay and then my mood changes and i forget how to communicate and everything gets awkward. I get a panic feeling all over and lose track and feel awkward in every aspect.

I hear voices too which has been going on for the last few months its like a commentary of my life everything i do theres criticism theyare getting worse and worse I cant focus on what sounds are real anymore like im convinced half the time my neighbours can hear me and it's them thats talking because I dont have carpets and i live in on the top floor. It feels like my life is in a David Attenborough film but it gets worse when saying horrible things about me. When it's not about what im doing its hearing someone talk saying im weird which confirms what im worried about my heads so mashed up.
I've lost all my mates they all think im crazy and i dont know what's wrong with me feeling suicidal more and more i hear it its to much for me. Like I'm fine one minute and anxiety takes over and i act weird all of a sudden and forget my conversation so i have to drop what im doing and go home.

I had a set back last week where i was in A & e over suicide thouhts and my mental health team put me on risperidone and 7 days of diazepam until 2 weeks time when i see my phyciatrist but I dont want be sedated on medication i would rather do things narutally iwanna think for myself i wanna be normal again im sick of letting people down i dont know what's wrong with me.

Ive been seeing the phyciatrist for a few years now and The mental health team aren't helping they always see me at my worse and when i last see the phyciatrist they said i have general anxiety disorder and adhd it cant be that... that was a year ago.

I'm worried its something more than GAD like i just wanna know what's wrong so i can fix myself.


Sorry about my bad grammar and spelling
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
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Jan 5, 2011
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45,406
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Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. The mental health teams are hit and miss in their effectiveness aren't they? I have had great carers and really dire ones in the past. I am fed up with the whole system and felt really ill and got no support and then too much if that is possible. I felt they were just reaching for pills and not hearing me. Have you been offered any therapy? I think you push and push for some. Its so hard that when we are at our most vulnerable is when we have to be strongest.

As for the voices, they are really horrible aren't they? I have had them in the past but with therapy (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) and meds they have largely gone and those that remain are less threatening than they were. What do they say about your voices? I didn't know that anxiety and ADHD lead to them - that's a new one on me.

As for doing things naturally, I think that is where therapy comes in. It can help immensely.
 
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Azzamartin199510

New member
Joined
Dec 11, 2018
Messages
3
Last year was the last time I had contact with the phyciatrist he said he thinks i have adhd because I'm restless, I've been seeing them hit and miss since my first od when i was in hospital last week they booked me in too see him apparently they have a plan i need to wait 2 weeks but sitting by and not know is making my voices worse.

I've always been told theres nothing wrong with me it's depression anxiety disorder however over the last few months thats when they've got worse.

I haven't been offered therapy yet but im going to ask it.

I suppose they gave me these new meds to calm me down until i see him.

I've been okay most of the year its just recently things have gotten worse
 
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lilahwantstobehappy

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
12
Location
United States
You could have a severe form of Social Anxiety Disorder. I have a more moderate version of that. I hate public speaking, so I always get anxious talking in front of others. Even meeting new people or talking to my friends makes me anxious.
 
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