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What's wrong with me

confusedwanderwaffle

confusedwanderwaffle

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What exactly is wrong with me, why do I always have to feel confused and have changes in my mood all the time, its too much to handle in my day-to-day life. Why do I feel like i want something to be wrong with me. Several months ago why did i start having urges to wanna know what its like to harm another living thing and i did act on them once now gone but why do i feel those urges are still there, just lying dormant somewhere. why have i always felt different. i dont connect to anybody. its all superficial. like acting on a stage.

am i just overreacting to all of this and im just scared of living my life?

i dont feel i can live my life. for the past two months I've just locked myself back in my room and haven't felt capable to go back to college. I tried going yesterday which is first time in two months and i felt anxious and told the manager that i couldn't stay a whole day and left early. i dont feel i can continue. whats my issue? i hate being me so much
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Hello, sorry to hear about you feeling confused, etc. Are you on any medication/seeing a mental health worker?

How long have you felt this way? :hug1:
 
confusedwanderwaffle

confusedwanderwaffle

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Hello, sorry to hear about you feeling confused, etc. Are you on any medication/seeing a mental health worker?

How long have you felt this way? :hug1:
I have felt this way for YEARS.

I started taking anti-depressants recently and been taking them for i think two weeks now but as you can see from my post I don't think i feel well inside :(

and I've never had any mental health workers or therapists that i see regularly. I had a care-coordinator that was assigned to me a while ago after an incident of an attempt of suicide.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Hello, I know with the medication i've started (citalopram) it can take anywhere from 3/4 - 6 weeks for positive changes to occur. Also my memory is right, sometimes taking some medication can make you worse before you actually get better?

Do you think it would be a good idea to see a therapist/some sort of mental health worker who can help you address your problems?
 
L

Lancaster Sam

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I am ever so sorry to hear you feel this way :( Like Anime said medication can take a while to kick in, and in some cases can make you feel worse. In the end i had to be changed from my citalopram to Mirtazapine, and Quetiapine, and even then it probably took about a month/2months and fine tuning the dose for me to feel a difference.
 
confusedwanderwaffle

confusedwanderwaffle

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Joined
Apr 10, 2015
Messages
166
Location
101010101110
Hello, I know with the medication i've started (citalopram) it can take anywhere from 3/4 - 6 weeks for positive changes to occur. Also my memory is right, sometimes taking some medication can make you worse before you actually get better?

Do you think it would be a good idea to see a therapist/some sort of mental health worker who can help you address your problems?
I think thats a good idea.

my teachers have thought having that form of support is a good idea. I have been on the waiting list for a place that provides that kind of help. but its taken months and due to the long wait i already tried killing myself because i wasnt getting any help. just on waiting lists. and waiting. and waiting. i was suppose to get a call yesterday from the acute treatment team but DIDN'T happen. not surprised. im always waiting and never getting the actual help. no wonder i try kill myself last month
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Gosh, i'm soo sorry about you trying to end your life last month :sorry: This year I tried to do the same on 5 occasions but i'm soo glad I didn't succeed. Those attempts were a cry for help and an attempt to end it? anyways perhaps talk to your doctor about getting some therapy?

Also by talking and posting on this forum, it can be helpful to get things of your shoulders. Also your with people who are also going through mental health issues/problems. Your not alone ok? We're alway here and you can also vent to us if you want :hug1:
 
L

Lancaster Sam

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Again i have to agree with Anime, maybe talk to your doctor about getting more therapy. Being on here can be helpful, when i was in an awful state i was just venting on twitter. Here we have a community where people can talk to each other and help one another through difficult periods. Also as many people on this board are also suffering with mental ill health, it can be extra helpful :)
 
confusedwanderwaffle

confusedwanderwaffle

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101010101110
Again i have to agree with Anime, maybe talk to your doctor about getting more therapy. Being on here can be helpful, when i was in an awful state i was just venting on twitter. Here we have a community where people can talk to each other and help one another through difficult periods. Also as many people on this board are also suffering with mental ill health, it can be extra helpful :)
thank you sam and being on here has helped me with some of the supportive kind people on here... and i dont know what mental illness (if any) im suffering from :(
 
confusedwanderwaffle

confusedwanderwaffle

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Joined
Apr 10, 2015
Messages
166
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101010101110
I am ever so sorry to hear you feel this way :( Like Anime said medication can take a while to kick in, and in some cases can make you feel worse. In the end i had to be changed from my citalopram to Mirtazapine, and Quetiapine, and even then it probably took about a month/2months and fine tuning the dose for me to feel a difference.
Mirtazapine is what they put me on now...heh how did it work for you??
 
L

Lancaster Sam

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thank you sam and being on here has helped me with some of the supportive kind people on here... and i dont know what mental illness (if any) im suffering from :(
I'm glad this forum has helped :) and it doesn't matter if you don't know what you're suffering with or if you have a mental illness at all from the perspective of posting on here and sharing any problems which you find :hug1:
 
confusedwanderwaffle

confusedwanderwaffle

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Gosh, i'm soo sorry about you trying to end your life last month :sorry: This year I tried to do the same on 5 occasions but i'm soo glad I didn't succeed. Those attempts were a cry for help and an attempt to end it? anyways perhaps talk to your doctor about getting some therapy?

Also by talking and posting on this forum, it can be helpful to get things of your shoulders. Also your with people who are also going through mental health issues/problems. Your not alone ok? We're alway here and you can also vent to us if you want :hug1:
thank you too and i agree, the people on here are wonderful :)

but regarding speaking to my GP. although yes its a good idea...im already on multiple waiting lists...so doesn't going to my GP to seek therapy seem, well, pointless?? I feel like ive walked down that same road of asking for help and having no success several times.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Hmm, since your already on medication and your on waiting lists, then i guess the best thing to do now is wait for the medication to have an positive effect. It will take a few more weeks since your already 2 weeks in?

In the mean time post on here and take each day as it comes, also try to keep busy?
 
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