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Whats wrong with me? Am i paranoid or anxious or just crazy

H

Henna

New member
Joined
May 9, 2015
Messages
2
I am not sure what it wrong with me. I have a hard time keeping relationships in place, with friends, family and men. I am afraid to answer my phone...really I am! have you ever heard something so funny?
Here is an example of the things i think and do to help you understand what i mean...please read and help!
I have been with my boyfriend for a few years, the first few were just casual dating, he lead that. A year ago, I made it clear that i wanted more. We got closer at that request. Then at Christmas, I found out that he had met a woman at a dinner while in another country. This was a work dinner, other people were there. They were chatting, they exchanged numbers in case she ever came to our country he may be able to help her. I kept seeing her messages on his phone's screen at random times, so i finally asked him if she knew about me. His answer was no, that they didnt have actual conversations it was just a chat site like VIber and Whatsapp. Just random things. I of course freaked out because i dont understand how they even started chatting. If they were coworkers or met many times then maybe they would chat occasionally, but they met once at a dinner where there were others, how did they even start chatting in a friendly way? I figured there has to be interest if he is carrying on with this, he must be interested in her or he wouldnt bother messaging her. He told me he wouldnt message her anymore, but that just made me more suspicious, i thought why? if you arent doing anything wrong, why change anything.
He stopped talking to her, and coincidently she hasnt messaged him either since. During that whole ordeal, it occured to me that no one knows about our relationship. not family, not friends or coworkers. we work together so it is a bit of a problem to let people at work know. Anyway, i had a problem with the lady not knowing about me and a problem with all of the other people in his life not knowing about me. his answer was he is a private person....hmmm. i wasnt ok with that. so i didnt let it go.
Since Christmas, he has done everything right, our relationship is out in the open and he is very kind, caring, nuturing and very very sweet to me. he is an amazing man. i am very lucky.
But, i cant let the lady that he was talking to go. i have brought is up for a second time. crying, pretty much telling him i dont trust him. It is MAY. and i am still paranoid about someone he may or may not have had an actual conversation with. if he hasnt messaged me in a few hours, i assume he is chatting with her OR he must have met someone else that he is not casually talking to. Seriously, i am a paranoid mess.
i am much younger than him, men approach me all the time, he is not as attractive and women do not approach him. If anything he should be the one worried.
i cannot control these thoughts from persisting. when i talk myself into believing i am overreacting and start to feel a bit better it is as though a voice yells out - but WHY did he start talking to her in the first place, you must not be good enough, he must be interested in her.
OMG - this is just one story, it happens with friendships which i am able to just let go of. it happens at work, which sometimes i just quit. i have a great job now, i am afraid that my irrational thinking is going to ruin my life!
 
Apravo

Apravo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
234
Location
Cheshire
Hi henna, hope your feeling better after getting things off your chest, I'm like you I think things thru to deeply and to a negative effect, I'm trying to change the way I process things. And spend less time thinking as that's where problems start. I see from your post you have so much to write, so many thoughts in your head, I try know to have less thoughts in my head and then I have less to worry about.

Hope everything works out for you x
 
H

Henna

New member
Joined
May 9, 2015
Messages
2
Thank you for replying. :)
 
Apravo

Apravo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
234
Location
Cheshire
My pleasure. Don't worry. There are lots of people on here who care. I'm here if you need anything at all.
 
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