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whats the point??



Jan 12, 2010
apparently i have everything going for me....im in college, i have an interview with a uni in march, ive got amazing friends, my family love me...

i would be happy with this except....in college i feel like any minute a huge panic attack will just take over me, if anyone talks to me i can tell they feel uncomfortable as i just start panicing and get all weird and awkward..waking up and going to college everyday is an unbelieveable challenge and is really just making me feel more and more ill...even if i get into uni (which i highly doubt) i will feel this dread of being infront of people for another 3 years! my friends, yes they are amazing people...but i can only be around them drunk, most of which i cant remember and they dont understand me...they've tried but it will never happen, even my best friend thinks im a selfish horrible person, she'd never admit but i just know...my family, and this one always makes me sad :( i cant even talk to them my social phobia is beyond! to look at me you'd never think it, my appearance just screams out, give me attention!! ...but i feel so awkward even talking to my own mum! who i love so much....

this only leaves me to the conclusion that yes i have my odd happy days...but seriously is it worth living for? for the chance of a few happy days? the only reason im here is because the guilt my family and friends would feel if i went...they know somethings wrong but i think they just chose to ignore it...or just dont know what to do. i can just tell they are sick of me...im a broken record.

i just want it to end,
i cant see any future for myself
ive been like this all my life...even as a child, so theres no chance of it going away
i just want to escape.


Well-known member
Jul 4, 2009
Essex England
poppet...i think maybe a trip to your gp may be in order and tell them how you feel..
Im sorry to hear you feel you cant talk to your friends and family about this anxiety and depression your feeling...please come here and off load as much as you feel able to..there is always someone about to help and we are a friendly bunch of people.

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