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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

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L

Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
I don't know what to do for the better, I really hate myself at the moment, I can't see anything good about myself. I want to burn all my the photo's of me and get rid of all my things. I want to make sure nobody knew I existed.

I have never felt this bad but things get worse each week, nobody phones anymore, I never seem to get any e-mails from friends and I keep looking for suicide pacts. I want to find people who will accept me and maybe I can find someone who will like me in a different life.

I feel as though I am always whining but I just don't know who else to talk to sometimes, why am I so different from other guy's?

Who knows?

Who cares, right?
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
I have never felt this bad but things get worse each week, nobody phones anymore, I never seem to get any e-mails from friends and I keep looking for suicide pacts. I want to find people who will accept me and maybe I can find someone who will like me in a different life.

I feel as though I am always whining but I just don't know who else to talk to sometimes, why am I so different from other guy's?
Hi - I don't know if this helps. But I know that if I want company or to be around people, then I have to make a lot of effort. If I don't ring others or get out the house - then people don't tend to ring or invite me out. The more effort I make, the more I get out & around people.

I don't think that you are that different to other guys, more people live alone than ever before. I know a number of people who go through phases of not going out much or seeing too many people. The people I know that have a lot of company are the ones who are always making the effort to be around people, ringing them & going out. I know with a MH condition that we don't always want to be like that. But this is more the reason for things, not that you are not liked, but if we are quiet & stay in then the World will not come to us - I like that sometimes, I don't want the World to come to me, I wanna be left alone sometimes.

TBH - I can't really be bothered with making much effort with a lot of people. I have family & a few close friends that I make an effort with, but I am not a wildly social creature. I am quite happy to spend a good few days pottering about the flat. If I really wanna see people then I phone around & see who's free, or I go for a walk through town.

I largely like my own company, I enjoy peace & quiet, I need my space, I find that things are often more of a solitude than a loneliness.

I do also find the compoota a comfort. I know that on-line interactions is not a substitute for real life relationships - but it does help with things to chat on-line.
 
L

Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
Thanks

Thanks Apothesis, I never really looked at things in that way, what you said did make sense I just never thought like that. I suppose deep down I was just feeling sorry for myself. I'm sorry everyone. :redface:
 
G

GrizzlyBear

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
971
I often feel the same way Lionheart....but not quite as much lately. I have been told that although I know I am wanting people to reach out to me I have a wall around me when I am feeling low. I guess it is a defence mechanism...this is off-putting to other people - even the ones that like me. They 'obey' what the wall seems to be saying: "Don't come near me".

Days where I feel 'good' I attract much more 'attention'. People approach me for conversation....even complete strangers. It is a shame that people can't approach me when I feel crap but maybe it's for the best - I would rather be 'rewarded' for being okay than for being down. I would hate to get further into the idea that I am only cared for when I feel dreadful - recovery is much harder with that idea in my head.

I agree with Apo with regards making an effort. It's a hard pill to swallow...and sometimes it just seems impossible.....but I think that's true. And I have to start taking that pill daily myself....having mental health problems affects the ability to make/maintain friendships (in my opinion)....but lack of decent social interactions can really make a mess of existing mental health problems.

Take Care :flowers:
 
Sophie

Sophie

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
3,214
Location
Spain
Hi lionheart,
Living in a Spain, I have only a few friends, 2 are English. I decided that I would call my English friend each week, just to hear another voice. I know that when you feel crap, you can't really be bothered, or feel that you don't want to put it on them. But just hearing another voice on the phone, or outside makes a difference. Don't be to hard on yourself,I think a lot of us have felt the way you do, I know that I have. If you want my email address, I will let you have it through PM.
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
I threw a whole box of photos away when I went radio rentals in jan 95 in the most I dont regret but there was the odd one or two that I wished I had kept because often because people only know this half of my life post breakdown 1990 sometimes I wished I coudl show people the younger me n esp I wish that I had the photos of my retaurant because I think that people dont believe that I really did own a restaurant that its some made up story.

I do have a whole new box of photos, so I would think about throwing them away.
 
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