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What's happening to me?



New member
Aug 15, 2012
When I was younger (8-13) I had hallucinations. Three to be exact. One time I saw my dead grandpa, the next time I saw a 'shadow man' that threw 'shadow bugs' at me which I could actually feel, and the last time I saw lights in the sky and one of the lights beamed down on me (like a spaceship) and froze me in place... I was convinced that aliens abducted me.
I told my grandmother about all of these incidents but she would always tell me it was the Devil and that I should never repeat it to anyone else, ever. Since I was so young, I accepted that and thought the shadow man was actually a demon. It wasn't until last month that I finally accepted the fact that they had to of been hallucinations. I am now 19 years old, by the way.
I haven't had a hallucination since then but I have tons of other problems just as bad if not worse.

About four years ago (sophomore year in high school), I began having major ups and downs leading to extreme anxiety and depression. At one point I was found crying locked in a stall in the bathroom floor of my school by the hall monitor. I hated life and wanted it to end. I self harmed myself as a distraction and all sorts of other things.
On the other hand, I had extreme ups to the point where I wanted to quit school a month before graduation! (I didn't thank God.) My mind would race and I would have all sorts of brilliant ideas. I started writing a book, a letter to Congress, and eventually felt that I should just become a Congressman or even president.. Because apparently I knew how to run the world better than anyone else.
The thing that scares me the most though is the fact that when I get these extreme ups, I tend to think that Im the Second Coming or something. Im Gods chosen person and have the ability to move things with my mind. I actually sat there and stared at objects trying to get them to move and when they wouldn't I went outside, sat on the porch, and had an hour long conversation with the sky (God, I guess) asking why I didn't have my powers yet. I eventually concluded that it just wasn't the right time yet and I would acquire my powers when the end of the world was near.
I also sometimes think that people can read my mind.
On the other hand, when Im extremely depressed, I think in odd ways like what I just said... Just differently.

What could this possibly be? I'm going to a Mental Health Clinic on the 27th but I am nervous and would like your opinions on what It could be. Like, what are a list of the possibilities? Do any of you have these problems also? It really scares me... :sorry:
Last edited by a moderator:


New member
Aug 15, 2012
I'm sorry

It would be best for you to wait until your appointment. Suggestions can wreak havoc if you're already on edge. If taking will help that's what we're here for.


Well-known member
May 7, 2012
i am sorry to hear that,hope you can be better.