What's happening to me?

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okiesmokes

New member
Joined
Aug 15, 2012
Messages
1
#1
When I was younger (8-13) I had hallucinations. Three to be exact. One time I saw my dead grandpa, the next time I saw a 'shadow man' that threw 'shadow bugs' at me which I could actually feel, and the last time I saw lights in the sky and one of the lights beamed down on me (like a spaceship) and froze me in place... I was convinced that aliens abducted me.
I told my grandmother about all of these incidents but she would always tell me it was the Devil and that I should never repeat it to anyone else, ever. Since I was so young, I accepted that and thought the shadow man was actually a demon. It wasn't until last month that I finally accepted the fact that they had to of been hallucinations. I am now 19 years old, by the way.
I haven't had a hallucination since then but I have tons of other problems just as bad if not worse.

About four years ago (sophomore year in high school), I began having major ups and downs leading to extreme anxiety and depression. At one point I was found crying locked in a stall in the bathroom floor of my school by the hall monitor. I hated life and wanted it to end. I self harmed myself as a distraction and all sorts of other things.
On the other hand, I had extreme ups to the point where I wanted to quit school a month before graduation! (I didn't thank God.) My mind would race and I would have all sorts of brilliant ideas. I started writing a book, a letter to Congress, and eventually felt that I should just become a Congressman or even president.. Because apparently I knew how to run the world better than anyone else.
The thing that scares me the most though is the fact that when I get these extreme ups, I tend to think that Im the Second Coming or something. Im Gods chosen person and have the ability to move things with my mind. I actually sat there and stared at objects trying to get them to move and when they wouldn't I went outside, sat on the porch, and had an hour long conversation with the sky (God, I guess) asking why I didn't have my powers yet. I eventually concluded that it just wasn't the right time yet and I would acquire my powers when the end of the world was near.
I also sometimes think that people can read my mind.
On the other hand, when Im extremely depressed, I think in odd ways like what I just said... Just differently.

What could this possibly be? I'm going to a Mental Health Clinic on the 27th but I am nervous and would like your opinions on what It could be. Like, what are a list of the possibilities? Do any of you have these problems also? It really scares me... :sorry:
 
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mb1223

New member
Joined
Aug 15, 2012
Messages
4
#2
I'm sorry

It would be best for you to wait until your appointment. Suggestions can wreak havoc if you're already on edge. If taking will help that's what we're here for.
 
S

snday

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2012
Messages
46
#3
i am sorry to hear that,hope you can be better.
 

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