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Whats borderline personality disorder like?

N

Nukelavee

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Dec 17, 2019
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Location
London, ON
This has a decent explanation.

 
I

I_Was_Punished

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Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
86
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UK
its a living hell, sorry i don't have the energy to go into more details just now
 
wraziel

wraziel

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Feb 12, 2020
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409
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Chile
I think is better ask to someone to know somebody with BPD, for the patient is hard to describe. But reading this forum you can get an idea.
 
G

Girl interupted

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Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
2,139
The predominant indicator for me is black and white thinking. It’s either good or bad, a person or thing is good or bad, there is no in between.

Therapy helps to distinguish the shades of grey, that nobody is ever 100% evil. That was the hardest thing for me to overcome, my brain kept wanting to compartmentalize experiences and people.

The wiki has a pretty decent overview



but do your own reading. The more you can read, the better you will understand and be able to focus the hard and often painful work in therapy. You can’t navigate bpd without professional help.

Look into Dialectical BehaviourTherapy, it was a godsend for me. Here is the workbook they use in the sessions:



You can also come here for support. It’s safe and full of active users who are on their own journey with bpd.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
19,240
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Emotional regulation (pr lack of it) is what i struggle with most with bpd.

its awful and i would do anything to swap it for any other disorder.

i also have learning difficulties which does not help either :(
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
19,240
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Emotional regulation (pr lack of it) is what i struggle with most with bpd.

its awful and i would do anything to swap it for any other disorder.

i also have learning difficulties which does not help either :(
i cant type properly

first line is meant to say "or lack of it"
 
B

Bilbo

Active member
Joined
Jun 26, 2020
Messages
42
Location
Melrose
it's a treatable (to some extent) disorder which is challenging to live with. I'm educating myself to know what I'm dealing with which is important but you need to be careful as even highly professional and patient centered material can be painful to digest.

Check out Emotion Matters, an NYC org that supports peeps with BPD and the Sasha Bear Foundation in Toronto; both have zoom groups to learn about the illness in safety. NEABPD also has good material to help you and your family.

All the best
 
Ozymandias

Ozymandias

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Aug 12, 2019
Messages
291
Location
West London
I can give a list of experiences... they might well seem melodramatic, but then BPD is like that. Well, mine is at least...

It's having no emotional defences. Nothing. Others' harsh words burn into you like acid, and their disdainful expressions sear through you like lasers. External negativity is a white heat; pure, unrestrained, emotional agony.

It's wanting nothing more than to be loved... wanting it too much; you're too high when you think you might get it, too low when things aren't - or just don't seem to be - going your way, and the speed with which you're able to switch from one extreme to the other is too fast. It's all too much of too much... it puts other people off, and sometimes it puts you off because you come to resent the power that the other person holds over you. The way they can make you and break you and make you again so completely without even trying. Often without even knowing. Sometimes you even hate the other person for the way that feeling as though you're not good enough for them causes you to hate yourself.

It's never quite being able to know who you are and what you're capable of... extremes of personality so far apart that it's hard to reconcile everything into a single, consistent, coherent entity. You're... more... than one person, but paradoxically less for that fact.

It's never being able to plan, to build, because so many things can just pull the rug out from under your feet at any time. Stability is the foundation of personal progress - certainly in the material sense - but BPD makes stability erratic at best, and impossible at worst. And anything you try to construct without foundations will inevitably fall to pieces at the first sign of inclement weather... it's plain and simple physics.

It's never being able to be anything, because life is less about what you're capable of at your best, and more about what you're still able to manage at your worst, and BPD just leaves you completely incapable. Of anything. It leaves you in bed, in the dark, catatonic, minutes feeling like hours, hours feeling like days, wanting to die and having to keep fighting the urge to make that happen. And it's a seductive urge, because it promises to take the pain away.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
19,240
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I can give a list of experiences... they might well seem melodramatic, but then BPD is like that. Well, mine is at least...

It's having no emotional defences. Nothing. Others' harsh words burn into you like acid, and their disdainful expressions sear through you like lasers. External negativity is a white heat; pure, unrestrained, emotional agony.

It's wanting nothing more than to be loved... wanting it too much; you're too high when you think you might get it, too low when things aren't - or just don't seem to be - going your way, and the speed with which you're able to switch from one extreme to the other is too fast. It's all too much of too much... it puts other people off, and sometimes it puts you off because you come to resent the power that the other person holds over you. The way they can make you and break you and make you again so completely without even trying. Often without even knowing. Sometimes you even hate the other person for the way that feeling as though you're not good enough for them causes you to hate yourself.

It's never quite being able to know who you are and what you're capable of... extremes of personality so far apart that it's hard to reconcile everything into a single, consistent, coherent entity. You're... more... than one person, but paradoxically less for that fact.

It's never being able to plan, to build, because so many things can just pull the rug out from under your feet at any time. Stability is the foundation of personal progress - certainly in the material sense - but BPD makes stability erratic at best, and impossible at worst. And anything you try to construct without foundations will inevitably fall to pieces at the first sign of inclement weather... it's plain and simple physics.

It's never being able to be anything, because life is less about what you're capable of at your best, and more about what you're still able to manage at your worst, and BPD just leaves you completely incapable. Of anything. It leaves you in bed, in the dark, catatonic, minutes feeling like hours, hours feeling like days, wanting to die and having to keep fighting the urge to make that happen. And it's a seductive urge, because it promises to take the pain away.
Perfect description

I hate having it 😫
 
I

I_Was_Punished

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Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
86
Location
UK
The one thing that always bothers me is when people tell me i need to enjoy life more, i need to chill out, relax. They can't understand why i'm not happy, why i'm always sad and down, even when things seem to be going well for me they are wondering why i am not hysterical with happiness. It's because living with BPD makes it incredibly hard, impossible even, to ever enjoy life. i don't have good days and bad days, i have OK days and horrific days. OK is the best i can ever hope for but even on an ''OK'' day i am never carefree, something is always bugging me and eating away at me, always. And i probably don't need to tell you how nasty a horrific day is. It's only people with BPD who can say this is normal for them, for anyone else they would be struggling to stay alive if they ever experienced such torture but BPD's learn to live with it because its there all the time and we live with it for years without a break.
 
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