What to do?

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Retaw

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May 10, 2019
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Hi everyone,

I suffer from GAD, derealisation and probably also depression. Besides my high anxiety there is not a single moment where I feel good. I always feel uncomfortable mentally and physically. All this destroyed my life and I’m on a point where I barely can’t function and have no fixed routine. I can’t handle any stress and stress triggers can be very small things. Medicines doesn’t work because my fear of losing control. Feeling so hopeless and clueless and I don’t know what to do anymore. I wish I could cry it all out but I can’t. I wake up with it and go to bed with it. I’m bored as hell, because I am always at home, but going out is super hard even small things like going shopping. Very frustrating. The only things which helps a bit is meditation, but it isn’t a game changer. This is going on already for a couple years.. I tried a lot including lots of therapy, but nothing helped out.. I feel like I’m throwing away all potential of life, but I just don’t how to get out of this bubble.. I’m only in my early twenties so I’ve lots of years ahead, but I’m not waiting to live like this forever. I’m really the worse version of myself and I have zero confidence


Can someone explain me where this constant bad feeling is coming from? Sometimes it feels unexplainable. It may just be from everything and how my life is atm.. And any other advice to improve my life?
 
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Pink1234

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Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
149
Location
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This may seem like too simple an idea, however, when I was in my late 20’s I was in a similar position to you and going back to something I liked while at school, athletics, gave me focus and confidence. It helped me a lot back then and I’m now retired and more content than I was.

Might it be possible that you could find something like that.
 
D

dewey

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Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
979
I'm so sorry to hear therapy hasn't helped you. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but is there a way you can try a different therapist? Or maybe a different type of therapy? Or maybe try a different gender of therapist? Sadly, it is often a question of trial and error with therapists.. I have had some difficult therapists and some better ones. Sometimes you need to try ten therapist before you find the right one for you. I hope you will fall on a good one.

It sounds like there's so much inside of you you need to offload. Personally I think the derealisation and depression are caused by deep issues that need to be released somehow. Maybe talk them out with a friend. Sometimes just taking back control of your life in the slightest way can re-balance you a little.

One good tip is take small steps to recovery. Often we desperately want the pain to stop and everything to change right away, but the hard pill to swallow is that sometimes the tiniest shift can create a huge change, like a ripple effect.

I can relate to a lot of the feelings you describe, and honestly, derealisation is one of the scariest things that can happen to a person. However, I want to promise you, you will start to feel normal again for certain periods of time. Whenever I start to feel normal and I can feel myself I feel so much better and I'm so grateful for it. I hope this starts to happen to you too.

Are your illnesses currently stopping you from being in work? It sounds like you are currently lacking a routine which is a terrible breeding ground for the old mental illness.
 
R

Retaw

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
30
Location
.
This may seem like too simple an idea, however, when I was in my late 20’s I was in a similar position to you and going back to something I liked while at school, athletics, gave me focus and confidence. It helped me a lot back then and I’m now retired and more content than I was.

Might it be possible that you could find something like that.
I wish I could, but that seems to far away now. I mean I even have a hard time visiting a supermarket.. I was doing freelance work a couple of times some months ago, but it didn’t do me good and it felt like I was asking too much from myself at that time and I didn’t even liked it. It’s quit hard to find something which I can use to have rhythm, but isn’t too stressfull.
 
R

Retaw

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
30
Location
.
I'm so sorry to hear therapy hasn't helped you. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but is there a way you can try a different therapist? Or maybe a different type of therapy? Or maybe try a different gender of therapist? Sadly, it is often a question of trial and error with therapists.. I have had some difficult therapists and some better ones. Sometimes you need to try ten therapist before you find the right one for you. I hope you will fall on a good one.

It sounds like there's so much inside of you you need to offload. Personally I think the derealisation and depression are caused by deep issues that need to be released somehow. Maybe talk them out with a friend. Sometimes just taking back control of your life in the slightest way can re-balance you a little.

One good tip is take small steps to recovery. Often we desperately want the pain to stop and everything to change right away, but the hard pill to swallow is that sometimes the tiniest shift can create a huge change, like a ripple effect.

I can relate to a lot of the feelings you describe, and honestly, derealisation is one of the scariest things that can happen to a person. However, I want to promise you, you will start to feel normal again for certain periods of time. Whenever I start to feel normal and I can feel myself I feel so much better and I'm so grateful for it. I hope this starts to happen to you too.

Are your illnesses currently stopping you from being in work? It sounds like you are currently lacking a routine which is a terrible breeding ground for the old mental illness.
Yep, I’m looking for a new therapist at the moment which is specialized in anxiety and depression.

True it feels that way as well. But my ‘inner self’ kinda blocks it some how and. I know what some triggers are and where they are coming from (also before all this), but I can’t really let it go and let it hit me if you know what I mean. I did EMDR, but without succes, because I felt so overstimulated getting even at my therapists location. I’m planning to do some more meditation for this as well, but I think I need to be more stable to really get to a point that it is effective.

Derealization and is so overwhelming.. Sometimes I feel like it comes without a reason and that’s pretty frustrating. I don’t know what to do about it. Maybe I’ve to ‘ground’ with this earth a bit more, but i’m already trying that by taking walks everyday and doing some exercises. It just keeps coming back. What did you to make it go away? Or atleast managable?

This constant feeling of feeling bad, where do you think it’s coming from? Or is it, like I said, coming from everything like a sort of end result?

Nope, I did freelance work a couple times a few months ago, but I stopped with it because it felt like it was too much and I hated the place where I was coming too as well. Now my day is very boring and exist of not much at all. I do some daily house tasks, taking walks, making some music (hobby, but it’s a creative thing where you need some energy for as well, so it affect this as well) and more boring stuff which can be do at home. I’m aware that I watch too much on screens and it might make it worse. It’s just that I don’t know what else to do. I feel very stuck because of all this.

I hope my English isn’t too bad and you can understand what I’m saying. It isn’t my native language.
 
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