
Lara
Active member
Hi all,
I'm just a little...meh...at the moment, I say at the moment, what I really mean is that last 2 - 3 months. I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 17 I'm now 22 and have been on and off meds ever since. I came off of lofepramine in february this year. I'm not on anything at the moment. I'm giving myself two weeks before I go and see my GP, however I'm wondering if its worth wasting his time.
I've seen a psychologist which wasnt eventful, she wanted me to go back and look at my past and see what what so painful and what I felt about it, that was on the ninth session and I told her I wasnt going to make myself feel any worse that I already did.
I then got reluctantly referred to the psychiatrist which I was ok with, but that didnt really help much either and I found that monitoring of condition was quite poor. I was seen every 3 months which is crap for some one who rapid cycles.
I've had several meds none of which have really helped:
citolpram (made me very ill)
effexor (did absolutely nothing)
prozac (was ok for a bit and then had to up the dose which turned me into a walking zombie)
Olanzapine (they put me on that with the prozac to stop my psychosis didnt help either)
then I came off the meds and after a while they put me back on prozac and then I came off it again.
Then the insomnia kicked in again and then they put me on lofepramine which I came off in february this year. Whcih also had the worst withdrawal symptoms, I thought I had flu!
My mum doesnt want me on prozac again because of what she has read in the papers and seen on the TV. My boyfriend doesnt like me on meds at all, as he says it "takes away my special spark" and that he can deal with my moods which I know he cant, because he bites back at me making me feel worse.
I dont know what to do at the moment I just know I dont want to feel like this and I certainly dont want it getting any worse. I remember from when I was at college, I was some quiet poisonous b!tch I was starting to like it, if that makes sense to any one?
I just dont know what to do.
I'm just a little...meh...at the moment, I say at the moment, what I really mean is that last 2 - 3 months. I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 17 I'm now 22 and have been on and off meds ever since. I came off of lofepramine in february this year. I'm not on anything at the moment. I'm giving myself two weeks before I go and see my GP, however I'm wondering if its worth wasting his time.
I've seen a psychologist which wasnt eventful, she wanted me to go back and look at my past and see what what so painful and what I felt about it, that was on the ninth session and I told her I wasnt going to make myself feel any worse that I already did.
I then got reluctantly referred to the psychiatrist which I was ok with, but that didnt really help much either and I found that monitoring of condition was quite poor. I was seen every 3 months which is crap for some one who rapid cycles.
I've had several meds none of which have really helped:
citolpram (made me very ill)
effexor (did absolutely nothing)
prozac (was ok for a bit and then had to up the dose which turned me into a walking zombie)
Olanzapine (they put me on that with the prozac to stop my psychosis didnt help either)
then I came off the meds and after a while they put me back on prozac and then I came off it again.
Then the insomnia kicked in again and then they put me on lofepramine which I came off in february this year. Whcih also had the worst withdrawal symptoms, I thought I had flu!
My mum doesnt want me on prozac again because of what she has read in the papers and seen on the TV. My boyfriend doesnt like me on meds at all, as he says it "takes away my special spark" and that he can deal with my moods which I know he cant, because he bites back at me making me feel worse.
I dont know what to do at the moment I just know I dont want to feel like this and I certainly dont want it getting any worse. I remember from when I was at college, I was some quiet poisonous b!tch I was starting to like it, if that makes sense to any one?
I just dont know what to do.

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