• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

What to do when I get suicidial episodes from Zoloft? + intruduction Part 2

O

OrionHarth

Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Serbia
For the first 2-3 days I mostly ended up sleeping over all day long because of Bensedin (Diazepam). After that is where things get weird again, basically all 4 psychiatrist I went to prescribed me Zoloft among other things, and 3 of them, my own doctor and internet all claim zoloft isn't suppose to start having effect up till at least two weeks and can often take even up till 6 for it to start working, for me it started having effect right after 3-4 days, up till few days ago I felt great, emotionally/depression wise I felt nearly as good as on low doze of speed, just without all the side effects, my anxiety nearly disapired (although Bensedin probably played a rule in this part as well). Than few days ago effects dropped drastically, I range from not felling depressed but not felling happy eater, not felling anything at all, being somewhat depressed, and than there are episodes where I get severely depressed even way more than before, I get serious suicidal ideas, I always had such ideas for over 10 years, but I never had guts to do it as I always had severe fear of possibility of complete non existence since childhood, only wish to end it all, end the suffering that most of my whole life was and is,
during those episodes I get depressed enough that I think it doesn't metier anymore, and yesterday I had full intention to end it all soon, just to take a few more days to do few last thing, I really thought I was going to go thru with it this time.
Those episodes don't last long, usually between 30min-2h but they are really bad, I fear one of them might be my last and I don't know what to do in those situation. Because of Korona public transport is closed down and as I don't own a car I also can't visit any psychiatrist/psychologist and none exist anywhere near me (The closest psychiatry is around 30km away from me). The only ideas I got is ether to take a very small dose of speed when I get those episodes, just enough to make me fell better while they pass, but I couldn't find much information on what to expect if I ware to mix those two, not to mention other two, to take extra dose to fall asleep and sleep over those episodes, but this would pose problem when I end up not having enough of them for regular use, not to mention mess up my sleeping scheduled, or to try taking an extra dose of a different medication as while I am prescribe it to take it in 1/3rds to help me with sleep it's main purpose is still SSRI like Zoloft so it might fight of depression from Zoloft, but this is just my own hypothesis, not to mention there would still be problem with not having enough of them for regular use just like with Bensedin, or to take extra doze of Zoloft hoping it would increase positive effect not negative ones just like recreational drugs usually do, but this poses the same problem as taking extra dose of Trittico.
If anyone thinks any of those are good ideas, or has any better ones please do tell me.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I

iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH3

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2020
Messages
898
Location
USA
GO TO EMERGENCY ROOM STAT!
 
O

OrionHarth

Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Serbia
GO TO EMERGENCY ROOM STAT!
In case you haven't noticed there is currently a global lock down, and while I don't know exactly how bad it is in other countries, here I can't even go to regular checks with psychiatrist, in fact the only doctor I can see is a regular doctor that isn't licensed to change anything in my psychiatric therapy, only to give me prescriptions for medicine already prescribed by specialist. And the only emergency room for psychiatric emergencies I know of only accepts patients that have attempted suicide not those with strong desire to do it, for those they send you to regular psychiatrist witch are currently all unavailable to me due to lock down. Witch is why my only choices are to eater experiment on my own, or to ask online. As nobody was replaying online for days it left me with no other choice than to experiment on my own. Luckily I found out that taking a very low dose of amphetamine (around 50mg, witch was historically used to treat depression) can get you out of suicidal faze.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Top