What the heck is my issue πŸ˜‚

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Writeyanru

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Okay, symptoms include hatred of being touched, sensitivity to noise and light, dissociation, very serious depression in the day that turns to an almost manic-like state during the night. (Sometimes I'll have mood switches before night time but they're a little more rare) really serious social anxiety, Derealisation, sometimes i don't recognise myself but its not like ALL the time. I can't bond with people at all ((you have to work extremely hard for 5+ years before i even talk to you without feeling like I'm going to die)) i have this thing where i can't be mushy or loving - i hate "i love you's

My family and I can't work out the mood swings (where they've said I've acted extremely extremely out of character. Loud, daring, manic, confident, brutally honest, very touchy feely)

I can go from this manic state to very serious depression within seconds. I don't get quick afternoon switches that often, maybe 1-2 a week. The night time mania is slightly more gradual than those quick switches.

But i can go from manic to depressed.
When i switch throughout the day sometimes i just become depressed, sometimes its very severe anxiety with the depression, other times i shut down. I feel dead inside and I get unstable if you touch me.

Like honestly can't figure out what the hell is going on and I'm on an 8-month waiting list like a bitch :/

Have a massive family history of mental illnesses though: both my mother and sister have manic depression, my other one has bipolar, several nephews are autistic, had a schizophrenic uncle, others include: depression, OCD, anorexia, suicidal tendencies, anxiety.

πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€” This started when i was like 15. I'm 20.
 
Luci

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As I read through your post the first thing that came to mind was Autism/Aspergers. It sounds like some of your issues are sensory and this could also explain your mood change on an evening. My son has Autism and he becomes withdrawn and quiet after a day at school, a lot of social demands and stimulation, he tends to draw, read or play a game to distract himself. He then becomes chatty, hyper and sociable just before bed time.

I'm no expert by any means, but maybe chatting with an autism/mental health charity/support group in your area would help you gain perspective while you wait to be seen?
 
Shingle

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Is that for counselling? That is a long time but i think typical for us at the moment. Are you taking any medication?
 
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Tomorrows a new day

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Hi, i would say you need a medical diagnosis, once you get that the proper treatment can begin. Best of luck
 
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Writeyanru

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Is that for counselling? That is a long time but i think typical for us at the moment. Are you taking any medication?
Yup. The talking therapy. I'm on an overall dose of 350mg of Antidepressants.
 
Luci

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The wait for mental health services is appalling, there are a lot of good charities and private organisations that can support you in the mean time, and the forum! Diagnosis can be a long and frustrating process, particularly when you are young
 
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Writeyanru

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The wait for mental health services is appalling, there are a lot of good charities and private organisations that can support you in the meantime, and the forum! Diagnosis can be a long and frustrating process, particularly when you are young
They know I have a lot going on but said "hang in there" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ just gonna hang in there I suppose lmao
 
Luci

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Luckily there are informal services around that understand your frustration and can help bridge the NHS gap, and lots of us around that have been there too β™‘
 
Shingle

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Are you feeling better in your mood and other symptoms since starting the antidepressant? How tablets affect your symptoms will help you figure out what is going on for you. Some people find they stabilise mood but others think they make them high, others think they are more unstable. All three outcomes could be a sign of bipolar/manic depression though. They are the same thing roughly.

Did a psychiatrist prescribe the medication? If not, you could ask to be referred as you think it is medication that needs looking at rather than just talking therapy. I never found talking therapy any use.
 
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Writeyanru

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Are you feeling better in your mood and other symptoms since starting the antidepressant? How tablets affect your symptoms will help you figure out what is going on for you. Some people find they stabilise mood but others think they make them high, others think they are more unstable. All three outcomes could be a sign of bipolar/manic depression though. They are the same thing roughly.

Did a psychiatrist prescribe the medication? If not, you could ask to be referred as you think it is medication that needs looking at rather than just talking therapy. I never found talking therapy any use.
Just a regular old doctor. GP. My depression got super bad when I was still at school and I got put on them, for a little while I noticed the pills seemed to give me that high I have at night - but all the time. I was very inspired, motivated, social, happy. Almost manic.

Then they just didn't work one day. Doctor kept upping the dose but I never felt that happy from the pills ever again.

The depression back then wasn't as bad, I could still function - do work, hobbies, look after myself, eat. I just felt super unstable and down and desperate to be alone at all times.

I feel like it's a different kind of depression now. Worse, I guess. πŸ€”
 
Shingle

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The tablets have stopped working and that always happens to me after about two years. Increasing a dose is never as powerful as changing medication. Your GP is allowed to trial a second medication before referring you and should refer you to a psychiatrist not a counsellor. Can you go back?
 
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Writeyanru

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The tablets have stopped working and that always happens to me after about two years. Increasing a dose is never as powerful as changing medication. Your GP is allowed to trial a second medication before referring you and should refer you to a psychiatrist not a counsellor. Can you go back?
Aaa crap should mention they did change my medication and up it too. Did nothing.
 
Luci

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Are there any not for profit organisations in your area that offer talking therapies sooner than the NHS? Mind? If meds aren't working try to focus on understanding and controlling your behaviour and emotions. It sounds like CBT could maybe help you? It can take years of different interventions and therapists before you get an official diagnosis and you are still only young. Therapists cant 'fix' us, they can just help us along the path to fixing ourselves
 
Shingle

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Aaa crap should mention they did change my medication and up it too. Did nothing.
So because the medication change did nothing, the doctor has probably concluded that your symptoms are actually emotional and will respond to counselling and not medication. It is not that simple as it may be that you are being given the wrong medication. Your doctor mustn't be seeing or hearing from you anything that makes them think you have bipolar disorder or clinical depression. You could write a list of symptoms or keep a mood chart for yourself. It takes time to be able to record how you are on a day. You could start with number of hours slept to start with. Even smileys happy sad normal. Bipolar UK has a clearer chart and descriptions if you need that for bipolar or depression.
 
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Writeyanru

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So because the medication change did nothing, the doctor has probably concluded that your symptoms are actually emotional and will respond to counselling and not medication. It is not that simple as it may be that you are being given the wrong medication. Your doctor mustn't be seeing or hearing from you anything that makes them think you have bipolar disorder or clinical depression. You could write a list of symptoms or keep a mood chart for yourself. It takes time to be able to record how you are on a day. You could start with number of hours slept to start with. Even smileys happy sad normal. Bipolar UK has a clearer chart and descriptions if you need that for bipolar or depression.
Honestly, you know when you have so many problems there are not enough hours in the day to talk about it. The therapist I spoke to on the phone said "it doesn't sound like bipolar" but I also didn't get a chance to really talk about it.

My sister has bipolar and lives at home so I think my parents would maybe notice if I was having symptoms that were alike to my sisters. Though I think there are different types, or it could be always be something similar to bipolar. Guess we'll wait and see πŸ˜‚
 

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