• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

what should i do ?

stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
3,151
Location
Australia
thank you so much everyone
well i decided this morning
enough is enough
i have a doctors appt thsi afternoon ,its just across the road ,and guess what?
I GOING ALONE!
i will show him i don't need him
thought about this long and hard

I AM NOT THE PROBLEM HERE!

it stops ,or its over x
YES!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!! OMG YES!!!!!

GOOD FOR YOU LU! You DESERVE love and respect! NOT neglect, NOT being emotionally hurt, NOT being treated as not enough, NOT being lied to, NOT feeling alone even when you're in a couple, NOT feeling rejected.

He IS an alcoholic. He is a textbook alcoholic. He is not ready to admit that yet. He may know deep, deep down, but he may be still in denial. Only once people start on the road to true self recovery and sobriety do they ever acknowledge their past behaviours. I know this first hand.

NONE of his choices are YOUR fault OR your responsibility.

You are someone who loves SO much. You love so openly and selflessly, and you give all of yourself. I think you also love unconditionally, which is a beautiful thing.

You deserve that kind of love back. And you deserve to love yourself too. Because you are amazing.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
42,301
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
i had a good talk with him this afternoon
he apologised ,said he was sorry ,he should not have said what he said
he admitted he did drink more than one glass of wine ,that he was drunk when he left the house and got drunk more after

he said ,what is going on with us at the moment ,was primarily because of his drinking
that meant a lot ,like confiremed im not losing my mind and he does have a problem
he promised to talk to the psychiatrist about it on febuary first

he said i could have a word with them too

im hopeful ,that this is a turning point

i felt like i was losing my mind ,but he HAS been drinking way too much he said and he is different when drunk
he said it in front of my aunt to so at least i know someone else heard it

i have been a nightmare in a different way this year
remember when i was obsessed with his physical health for a couple of months earlier in the year?

but this is definitely not my doing ,and im not trying to balme or say its anyones fault
iys just such a releif

i think he is deeply depressed and needs loads more medical support than he is getting
i think i need support too with this and my own mental health problems i have had since a child

im truly hoping things change now

i want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all your support
everyone who has helped me ,i care about you deeply and hope i can help you one day too

on a side note
i saw the gp ,my tummy button problem could be an infection ,or it could be bruised
or there could be something going on inside my body
she took a swab and when she gets the results will decide how to treat it
for now i have cream
love
Lu x
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
42,301
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
there was a massive upset tonight
he was playing video games with his friends
they were not here ,it was online
he was drinking southern comfort and i got really upset
he said i was overreacting
i could tell he had drank too much but he said he had not

im so confused
he broke down crying ,said he was not coping and was really strange

now he is upstairs playing with his friends again laughing and joking

im so confused

im not going to be posting on here anymore
im unwell and confused
i thought we turned a corner earlier

i feelhe hates me ,he acts indifferent now toward my feelings and pain

im not going to my echocardiogram appointment tomorrow
i feel too
ill
aunt was stressed agin and star too

just at the end now
the confusion

i don't know anymore
Lu x
 
C

CabbageMama

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
911
Location
UK
Lu, you have experienced this a lot before. Hot and cold behaviour. Apologies and agreements on how things will be different, then shortly after this not being the case. You can only be responsible for your behaviour. The post I saw from you earlier was amazing. I hope you got to that Dr appt on your own, but even the intention to go was fantastic. Because you can do those things on your own. If you stick with this relationship, there are going to be an awful lot of corners. It is not going to be straightforward, none of it. Nor easy. It will be hard. And it sounds like you are really tired. I think you should try to get to that appt if you possibly can, just to get it done and rule it out. Invest in yourself for a change - you and your health matter. X
 
T

tiltawhirl3

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,780
Location
Bristol TN
Fairy Lu,
Please don't stop posting here. Do not cooperate in isolating yourself.
Dysfunction thrives in isolation and secrecy.

There is a saying in support groups for family & friends of alcoholics/addicts that is very true:
You did not cause it. You cannot control it. You cannot cure it.

You are powerless over the alcohol. We fight a battleground not our own. And we get hurt.
Hopefully, we decide to leave that battleground whether the war rages on or not. The addict is a slave to their substance of choice. We can't love them out of it, if so there would not be thousands of these support groups for the effected family. We stop trying to change them and learn to love ourselves and look out for our own well being, either with or without them. We strengthen our boundaries and protect ourselves.
It is impossible to talk with, discuss, reason with someone who is intoxicated.

<3
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
5,276
Location
California
@Fairy Lucretia Hi Lu, it's a lot. I'm sorry. Please go to your appointment tomorrow. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to get well. Set a timer and spend a few minutes, if only 5 sitting and petting Star. Take a few gentle pauses instead of doing things to hurt you. They won't stop anything. Just pause and do something small and kind for you. I am thinking of you. xo 💗
 
W

wednesday addams

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2021
Messages
851
Location
US
Hi dear lu, I sincerely hope he gets the help he needs. You do deserve better, your in my thoughts.❤️
 
H

hurghydurdy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 25, 2021
Messages
103
Location
uk
I hope that you can make it to your appointment today Fairy Lu, and if not, try not to worry too much, hopefully they can reschedule soon. Like others have said you deserve kindness and to look after yourself. You have shown incredible strength and courage in your recent posts. I can very much understand why you would feel so confused by your partners behaviour last night - it sounds upsetting and manipulative. I'm sorry, I wish things were easier. Do lean on the forum for support, and the support groups for family/friends of alcoholics that others have posted about sound like good resources too
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
42,301
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi
thank you everyone
i didn't go to my appointment i felt too unwell
i really appreciate all of your replies and support

im staying off here for a while and trying to rest the best i can
Lu x
 
Top