What should I do now?

S

steveraymon

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Telford
#1
I am married for just under two months after 16 months of dating, to a wonderful woman who has an extremely difficult daughter who is now 15.

My Wife adopted her 10 years ago. I believe my wife has been the subject of parent abuse and general bullying for years.

I believe she is living with a child with a personality disorder. Her birth mother had a mental illness.

I have witnessed multiple incidents of abuse.

I have been physically attacked by this very well built young lady.

She has called me a paedophile, and threatened to stab me in my sleep.

She has insulted me saying you are ugly, God hates you, you are irrelevant, you are not my father or parent and never will be, you are an abuser ...etc etc.

She has threatened me with being sorted out by her mates. During an incident she will stand in doorways and bar your exit refusing to move.

I have witnessed her intimidating her mother shouting at her and blaming her for her own failures.

When she is not in this full blown condition she demands praise and attention from her mother continually. She is able to present in public as extremely likeable although no friends come to visit her.

One moment she is remonstrating rudely and accusing others, the next she is crying the next she is loudly singing and exercising.

Her mother who is a very slight extremely compassionate and delicate person has openly admitted to me she is scared of her.

I have documented most of the incidents that have involved me, and during one incident caused by her not being able to find her bra, I recorded her, this with her mothers permission. During this recording you can hear her screaming and insulting us.

In the latest incident she walked unannounced into our bedroom and asked us to sleep downstairs as she wasn't comfortable with us being there. Her mother stood in front of her and asked her to leave the bedroom she refused and barred the door. She only moved when I threatened to call the police. Subsequently I have left the house and returned to my previous home.

What can I do.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
8,818
Location
England
#2
Hi,
She needs to see a child psychologist and possibly a child psychiatrist as well. Take her to her GP and ask for a referral to CAMHS they deal with children.
Sorry this is happening to you and your family.
I hope she gets help soon.
Take care
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
589
#3
Sorry you are in this situation, it likely has made life very difficult for you and you are right to feel frustrated and annoyed as this probably wasn't what you had in mind for your married life.
At the same time, it is important to recognise that what you are dealing with is an extremely vulnerable and troubled young person (I wish to assert that people can be all at once both dangerous and vulnerable) who needs medical attention, love and support. This is likely to be a difficult journey but I would encourage your wife to seek the support of a doctor, a referral to see a psychiatrist, and therapist, as the above poster suggests.
Though it is difficult, I would not advise you to tackle fire with fire in these situations. The young girl must feel listened to and supported, though she sounds an extremely difficult character right now. Things are unlikely to change if she feels attacked, it must be made clear to her that she needs help, she needs support, she is at a difficult age and you both want what is best for her. Your wife also sounds like she could do with some respite. I hope that you are able to receive adequate advice on this matter and that the situation will improve.
 
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