what should i do now...?

C

change

Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2019
Messages
14
#1
Trigger Warning: I do speak about the causes of my complex PTSD.

I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself prior. But I guess you will need some background to this if you are to give me any feedback on the current situation.

I'm a thirty two year old female child sexual abuse survivor. My parents use to lock me in a bedroom with strange men. I get to learn what happened in that bedroom through frightening flashbacks. I'm not entirely sure what my parents got out of it. The abuse quit around age twelve.

Because my parents had far more children than they were capable of taking care of, I am not the only one with these type of issues. I love my siblings deeply, but my mother takes a perverse pleasure in dramatic situations between all of us.

When I first had flashbacks, I reported them to police. I quit seeing my parents. I told everyone I thought could handle and/or benefit from the information. I am doing alright. I have good days. I have bad days. I do have complex PTSD with agoraphobia.

Also, I think I should mention that it's not getting the best of me. The PTSD, that is. I have genuine peace and serenity. I contribute that to the twelve steps of AA and NA, and God. I love God.

Anyways, the thing that I'm not sure how to deal with. At age 25, I have these horrendous flashbacks. Me being abused, siblings being abused, sensory flashbacks, the works. It's left me unable to work, sometimes unable to leave my house.

So I call the police on my parents. Can't have them doing this to anybody else. There's nothing the police can do. Here it is, seven years later, and my mom shows up at my door with my little sister. I love my sister. So I totally can handle my mom, in small doses, and be calm and peaceful about it, but it's entirely inappropriate. I was so happy to see my sister. She's my parent's neighbor. Also an abuse survivor. It doesn't seem to affect her as negatively as it does me. But there was so much happiness in seeing her. As for my mom, she knows she can't show up at my house alone. She denies the abuse and gaslights me, because I did confront her.

So that's what I don't now how to handle right now. My mother, either some type of sociopath or at the very least a pedophile, deciding to randomly drop in on victims of her abuse, just as a how-do-you-do. How do I create an appropriate boundary in this situation? Can I get a restraining order? We were quite civil. I'm really not sure how to respond to this.

Any positive feedback would be great. Thank you so much!
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
1,240
Location
USA
#2
That's a tough position to be in.I guess you just need to tell her outright what your rules and boundaries are and have some kind of consequences when they're broken.And follow through with it.

Easier said than done though,that's for sure.

Hugs