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What my depression and anhedonia have taught me

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MattMVS7

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2013
Messages
285
My pleasure is what I deem as my personal life. I must have that back. Or someone dies. It won't be an innocent person who is trying to help me recover my pleasure. It would instead be someone who mocks me by telling me to accept my absence of pleasure. How could I possibly accept something that renders me and my life of no good value whatsoever? You say that there are other good things in life besides pleasure. No, I do not believe that. Not in the least bit. This is because, from my personal experience of depression and anhedonia, my thoughts and such without my pleasure are just neutral conscious experiences to me. They have no life and are just nothing more than neutral sounds, images, phrases, etc. without my pleasure. Only my pleasure breathes life into those things and makes me and my life good. There is no transcending experience whatsoever from my thoughts and such alone without my pleasure. Again, it has nothing to do with me attributing neutral value to those said things that is making them neutral experiences for me. They really are all neutral in of themselves without my pleasure and it has nothing to do with me attributing neutral value or any other value to them. I live life to experience it and to be transcended by it. I am not some bland person who is fine living a life like some robot or someone who just lives life like a job and nothing more. I am more profound and greater than that. Therefore, I need my pleasure back to regain that said profound and great life.

If you were to make me watch a video of Hitler slaughtering the innocent Jews, I would perceive Hitler as being a bad person. But I would also realize that this version of bad is neutral (fake). Feelings of suffering are the only true bad things in life while feelings of pleasure are the only true good things in life. Therefore, if Hitler didn't have any feelings of suffering and only derived pleasure from slaughtering the Jews, then that pleasure would make him a good person. But since the Jews experienced feelings of suffering, then that would make them bad. Why do I say this? It's not because I am some sociopath or anything of the sort. Sociopaths have little to no empathy. I have empathy. If I saw Hitler or someone harming someone or some innocent living creature, I would feel very sorry for that living person/creature. However, I would realize that the psychopath would actually be a good person for deriving pleasure in harming that person/innocent living thing.

So, again, why do I say this? It is because my personal experience of depression and anhedonia (absence of pleasure) have made me realize that pleasure is the only truly good experience in life. I now realize that our thoughts and such without our pleasure are all neutral and are all neutral conscious experiences. If, let's pretend, I never had depression or anhedonia, then I would truly perceive Hitler as being a horrible person even though he derived pleasure from harming all the Jews. Therefore, you might then say that my depression and anhedonia have distorted my perceptions. But this is false. I now have every reason to believe that pleasure is the one and only true good thing in life. Please refer to my other packets which contain arguments and reasonings supporting this claim.

So as you can see here, we have good, bad, and neutral (neither good or bad). But the version of good and bad that comes from everything else in life besides our feelings of pleasure and suffering, they are all the neutral version of good and bad. In other words, they are the fake verison of good and bad. If this makes no sense to you, then allow me to explain. We would not refer to everything else in life besides our feelings of pleasure and suffering as being good or bad. We would instead refer to them as all being neutral. We would instead refer to feelings of pleasure as being what is the one and only good thing in life while feelings of suffering would be the one and only bad thing in life. Even if those neutral things only served to bring us and/or others nothing but suffering or pleasure, we would still not refer to them as being good or bad. Even if seeking pleasure only brought us and/or others nothing but suffering, we would still not refer to pleasure as being bad since it is always good since it is the true version of good. It is a version of good that is independent of our thoughts and moral values. It is a feeling version of good. Therefore, our value judgments including everything else in life can never define it as ever being bad or neutral. Same concept applies for our feelings of suffering. Also, if I were to somehow perceive me and my life as being good and worth living without my pleasure, then that good perception would not be good at all. It would only be neutral and I would only be fooling myself into perceiving it as good. So people who have depression and/or anhedonia (absence of pleasure) who perceive them and their lives as being good and worth living anyway without their pleasure, these people are only fooling themselves. Everything else in life besides our feelings of pleasure and suffering that are claimed to be good and bad, that version of good and bad is a decoy and people must realize this so that we can find better treatments/cures for depression, anhedonia, and suffering in general since our pleasure is what is the only good thing in life and it is that much more vital that we have it in our lives.
 
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Darby

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 9, 2013
Messages
175
How do you gain pleasure again after going through depression and anhedonia, I'm coming to the conclusion that it's impossible to regain.
 
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