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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

What kind of help do I need?

C

CuriousJoe

Member
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
5
Location
London
Hello all.
In most respects, I have a good life. I'm intelligent, confident, successful, have a good career, etc. I have no depression, or anxiety. I don't want to harm myself, nor anyone else.
But I do have a problem with some programmed behaviours. There's two in particular that have caused me problems throughout my life; one is an over reaction to being accused of something that I am innocent of, and the other is an over reaction to not getting my way.
The second one sounds worse than it is - by that, I mean that I don't get this reaction all the time. I am very used to not having my way, but just sometimes, in the heat of the moment, I feel like it is the most important thing in the world and I blow up if I can't have it, but afterwards, I realise that it wasn't so important at all.
So, I basically need to find a way to reprogram these two behaviours, and as this relates to behaviours, I thought that I might need to do some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, to learn to improve the situation. But when I self-referred, I was told that I couldn't do it for my 'problem', as I wasn't anxious or depressed.
Can anyone confirm that this is what I need to do, or is there something else that might suit me better?
Thanks in Advance.
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

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Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
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You should try talk therapy and accepting your own short comings. I do this everyday to better my mental health. Welcome to the forum.
 
C

CuriousJoe

Member
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
5
Location
London
Thank you for your reply. I will look into talk therapy, but can you clarify what you mean by 'accepting your own short comings' please?
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,892
Location
Nashua NH
Hello all.
In most respects, I have a good life. I'm intelligent, confident, successful, have a good career, etc. I have no depression, or anxiety. I don't want to harm myself, nor anyone else.
But I do have a problem with some programmed behaviours. There's two in particular that have caused me problems throughout my life; one is an over reaction to being accused of something that I am innocent of, and the other is an over reaction to not getting my way.
The second one sounds worse than it is - by that, I mean that I don't get this reaction all the time. I am very used to not having my way, but just sometimes, in the heat of the moment, I feel like it is the most important thing in the world and I blow up if I can't have it, but afterwards, I realise that it wasn't so important at all.
So, I basically need to find a way to reprogram these two behaviours, and as this relates to behaviours, I thought that I might need to do some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, to learn to improve the situation. But when I self-referred, I was told that I couldn't do it for my 'problem', as I wasn't anxious or depressed.
Can anyone confirm that this is what I need to do, or is there something else that might suit me better?
Thanks in Advance.
As far as retraining the brain Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is best. You can practice on your own by developing awareness of these patterns as they are occurring and using new responses. As you choose different responses to these situations it should become more natural over time. Keeping a notebook of each occurrence might help
to keep you accountable. While CBT therapists are helpful the real work in CBT has to come
from
you.
 
C

CuriousJoe

Member
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
5
Location
London
Thank you very much for your detailed answer.
I have looked into the subject of mind management quite a lot recently, and understand what I have to do to reprogram these faulty behaviours; I need to repeatedly visualise the new behaviour, with emotion. So, I don't specifically need a therapist, but I struggle to understand how I add the emotion, and I am aware that it will not work without the emotion.
Also, I self-referred to my local council, to try to get CBT, but I was told that I did not qualify for it, because I was not depressed or anxious. :eek:
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
5,123
Location
My house
Thank you for your reply. I will look into talk therapy, but can you clarify what you mean by 'accepting your own short comings' please?
Yes I'm never going to reach my goal weight, I'm never going to get a gf ect ect. By accepting them you can over come these defects. I have done this countless times
 
C

CuriousJoe

Member
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
5
Location
London
Yes I'm never going to reach my goal weight, I'm never going to get a gf ect ect. By accepting them you can over come these defects. I have done this countless times
I'm not sure that I understand that logic. Surely, if I accept the belief that, in your example, I'm never going to get a girlfriend, that is just succumbing to the faulty belief, and will be self-fulfilling, won't it?
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
5,123
Location
My house
No on the contrary, I became enlightened. Acceptance was key to my recovery. All of the things you accept cant possibly all come true. Right? Right. It's a mental battlefield, buts it's worth taking a shot towards a more calm recovery. I accepted my weight issues and that my illness will never die, only get stronger with time unless I worked towards acceptance of it. Take care.
 
C

CuriousJoe

Member
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
5
Location
London
Oh, I understand what you mean now. After a recent break up, I was in agony, complete turmoil, while I thought that I still had a chance to save the relationship. But after I accepted that it was over, I felt an amazing calmness. The turmoil was gone.
Thanks.
 
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