what is wrong with me

[TRjames]

Hi every one my name is tom im 22, from the age of 13 i have suffered from depression and anxiety i was put on anti depressents and mood stablisers for about 2 years, after that it all seemed to subside for a while... I have recently just turned 22 and realised that some of the old feelings have come back depression anxiety and when out in public i have this weird feeling like everyone is watching me or talking about me, which results in me avoiding busy places... Now for the last couple of weeks i have had these odd thoughts that i live in my own world which is different from the one we all live in, i feel emotionless not happy not sad just very blank, i live across the road from a cemetery and for the last week have been obsessed with walking through it i have these thoughts that i am some how conected to it... I avoid my friends and feel as though they would not understand me and the way i think, everyday i feel as though i am getting deeper into this weird reality i live in, I also feel as though i am this small person trapped in my own head and controlling my body, its hard to explain but this is how i feel... What could it be??? I have also lost motivation for everything, im always tired but when i go to bed i cant sleep, and lately i have been very confused, thanks for listening and i know it sounds strange but this is how i feel... thanks again.

 

[keepsafe]

Hello TRJames and to the forum/

Depression can make you all of the things that you describe, I think the best thing for you to do at the moment is go back to visit your doctor and explain the feelings you are having.

Keep posting here too.

KS

 

[trombone_babe]

Hi Tom, to the forum. Yes I agree with keepsafe, go and see your GP. I know just how you feel with the anxiety in public and thinking everyone is talking about you, losing motivation and always being tired. I'm sure there's lots of people on here that have felt just like you. That's the best thing about this forum, everyone is very supportive and because we've all been there to one degree or another, we understand.

Let us know how you get on.

 

[TRjames]

Thanks for the replies, its good to know that im not the only one that feels like this.. Any way im booked in to see my psychiatrist tomorrow and now that i am i have know idea what to tell him or were to start, The last couple of days i have been slipping more and more out of reality i honestly believe that people are putting thoughts in my head that i cant control when i want to slow my thinking down it just gets worse, i also have this proception that my senses are getting better colours seem alot more brighter and noises that i would not usually tune into i am now fascinated by to the point were i tune out if that makes sense. I feel as though i dont control my body and when i look at certin parts of my body they don't seem like the belong to me. I am now to the point were im scared od people even walking past my mum is a challenge, whats wrong with me i feel as though i dont control my thinking or my body..... Thanks for the help... Tom

 

[jamesdean]

Hi tom after 40 years dealing withmh 20 years in service today I'm no wiser than you I havent been ableto writemyjournalfor over a weekbecause I've not really been able to explain all that I'm going through n I'm usually quite articulate but I have become so frightned of people and I cannot get on with anyone or group of people,so it must be me not them because I have fellout with the world.

 

[killswitchon]

it sounds to me that some of these things that you are feeling could be associated with psychosis. A feeling that every one is watching you and that somebody is putting thoughts in your head as well. Sometimes I feel like I do not control my body because my problem is I perceive everything, my reality, to be going by in fast forward. like 1.5 times the "normal" speed. I have a feeling it has to do with my brain and processing but it is hard know for sure. I was diagnosed by one psych to be psychotic but I dont believe it for a second because I do not hear voices or see things. Nothing like that man. Anyway, my point is that sometimes I feel the same way on some of your issues. I feel frusterated, angry, lost, hopeless sometimes, and scared that I am going to be dealing with this shit forever.