• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

What is wrong with me..

midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
9,282
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Sorry I don't feel like a good friend.. 😟 I think that the last year I wasnt a good friend to anybody.. I though of me alot and not how others where feeling..😞

I'm sorry..

I care a lot about my friends. And I want to be there for them.. I try my best at the moment but I know I'm failing..🥺

Because I can only think about my dark 🥺headspace.. my problems and my urges..🤐
Sorry to everybody on this forum.. you all deserve better than this. I'm so sorry😢

I'm sorry you slipt up @midnightphoenix I hope you are okay 🥺 you really don't deserve it.. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you even when you always are there for me. I hope you can forgive me 😓
nothing to forgive :grouphug:
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
432
I understand, it is good to keep your mind occupied. I feel very restless as well a lot of the time, it is not a nice feeling.
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
662
Location
Netherlands
I understand, it is good to keep your mind occupied. I feel very restless as well a lot of the time, it is not a nice feeling.
IT is so hard.. I get really crazy after being really restless for so long..
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
432
I feel the same. It is an awful feeling. My mind is my own worse enemy. It tortures me at times. I wish I could control it. It is quite terrible.
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
662
Location
Netherlands
I feel the same. It is an awful feeling. My mind is my own worse enemy. It tortures me at times. I wish I could control it. It is quite terrible.
It is.. I don't need other people to get upset.. my head is doing it for me. I know how stupid that sounds but it's true..

Screenshot_2019-08-28-11-02-51-727_com.pinterest.jpg
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
432
Yes, unfortunately, I know exactly what you are talking about. It is not stupid, I perfectly understand. I wish I did not understand, but I do, from a lot of personal pain and turmoil.
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
662
Location
Netherlands
OMG last night was amazing. My bed was comfortable, my pillow was soft, my blankets thick enough..

I slept so deep.. so good for 1 night In 7 weeks. I dreamed about going to the mental hospital to get help. I sure did selfharm but it was different Everybody was so nice. I felt so peaceful and save.

I never been in a mental hospital before so yeah idk what to expect but in my dream it was everything. I had someone to talk to and people finally understand my illness and that it was not a joke, neither just pretending..

Feel good today
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
432
That's great that your having a good day! What a relief it must be! I hope it will last for a while. Take care.
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
662
Location
Netherlands
I had a good day today.
First we did go to a park to see some animals. Later we where meeting are new friend in Bangkok. (We know him from the train that broke down and we had to wait 5 hours). He is also Christian and that's how we found him.

Today he showed us bankok. First to a big mall called terminal 21. We ate something and the we did get some coffee. We arrived at the food market and talked a lot. I feel so blessed to have him as a new friend.

At 8 we booked a full body Thai massage. Something I have never done before. I was quite nervous but it was amazing. The women was really good and all my stress points where taken care of. Feel a lot better at the moment.

We ended with food and we are now going back to the hotel. Today was a good day
IMG_20190829_140203.jpgIMG_20190829_173836.jpg
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
432
Fantastic! I am glad you were able to enjoy yourself. I hope the trend continues!
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
662
Location
Netherlands
Today I went to a shoppingmall.
You know like Gucci and stuff.. really enjoyed it.

Bought myself new earrings out of wood. Something that's very me. I'm a plant lady and I love wood. They were €10 so not expansive because I'm not that a millionair.
IMG_20190830_152748.jpgIMG-20190830-WA0027.jpgIMG-20190830-WA0026.jpgIMG-20190830-WA0024.jpg
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
432
Very nice earrings! I hope you are still enjoying yourself and finding some peace. Take care. My thoughts are with you, wishing the best for you.
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
662
Location
Netherlands
I got an anxiety attack at the airplane so when we landed in Dubai we had to wait for 3,5 hours. So j booked a spa for the 2 of use to relax for a hour..

Still scared to go home but the spa was nice and did relax me a little bit.
IMG-20190831-WA0003.jpgIMG-20190831-WA0002.jpgIMG-20190831-WA0001.jpgIMG-20190831-WA0000.jpg
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
432
Anxiety attacks are horrible. I get them some times, it is a very nasty feeling. I hope your anxiety abated somewhat. Nothing feels good when one is anxious. I know the feeling very well. Take care.
 
Top