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What is the 'right' amount of anxiety?

M

moz808

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2021
Messages
22
Location
England
So, a big thing I have going on at the minute is that I am moving countries next year and currently building a house there. Naturally, it's quite pricey and there are lots of other factors to think about too such as when is the right time to get my visa and what visa should I be getting and learning a different language and living with my in-laws over there and selling my car before I go (way before I go because I can't afford to pay the MOT and insurance AND build a house).

I feel so overwhelmed and I'm reaching burn out working everyday but... in reality nothing is happening in my day to day. I go to work and come home and go to bed. I'm not actually building my house, other people are in another country - I've not even seen it yet! I don't hate my job and it's not as stressful as other jobs I have had (albeit it doesn't pay all too well). And I'm not planning on selling my car for a few months.

I have so many little things building up and this one big huge major thing of moving countries and all these thoughts are swimming about in my head. In trying simple things to help such as mindfulness it's always things like 'does this affect your life long term?' yes. 'Is this so important to have anxiety over?' yes. 'Will this change your life?' yes. I don't particularly feel like I'm making the issue catastrophic as it is a big thing and something that seems justifiable to be anxious over.

The problem is the thoughts are none stop. It's completely taking over my life just thinking what it will be like and not knowing much of anything that is going to happen or could happen. I am excited to go but it is being ruined by this plague of anxiety and dread that seems to follow me about. I want to go and be happy and just be over there already so I can get on with it! But I have about another year to wait before that happens and I just want my brain to switch off for a minute or two.

In talking this out with family and friends they too have comforted me in that this is a situation in which some anxiety will be present as it's a big thing. But in getting to the point of it taking over my thoughts I'm starting to think it's too much. So how to stop worrying so much about something that is a little worrying and scary?
 
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EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
890
Location
Orleans vermont.
The anxiety you have is derived from the most common source, the unknown. The only cure is to know. Plan it out to the last detail, when you will do things what day, what time, with whom, how long, everything you can think of. Doing that will create a known element to the situation and you should feel more control.
 
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paws4thought

formerly Anxietyhell
Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
1,511
Some years ago I moved to live in another country, bought a house there and attempted to learn a new language..

At the time It was a choice we made, I was partly looking forward to the change /some challenges, hope of a better lifestyle etc.. It was both exciting, but also daunting.

. Lots to sort, some doubts creep in such as am I doing the right thing? Will I be able to cope with another language? We will manage financially?.. A degree of anxiety naturally accompanies all that..

I think most of us adopt a comfort zone, familiarity etc - so whilst the thought of change can be exciting, good and beneficial - there is an element of nervousness..

I think what I am trying to convey is that everything you are experiencing anxiety wise is natural and normal... But you know that

Obviously these moves take time to arrange and prepare for, sometimes I think when we have made a decision to do something - if it's able to happen really quick, we don't have too much time to ponder beforehand - and the possibility of building things up to what can start to feel unmanageable is avoided..

I am not great at knowing or having a solution.... But maybe write a list of all the positives, great new house, better lifestyle, exciting new beginning etc etc...Friends/family will visit and you make new ones.. In the meantime just address the things you néed to do in preparation for your exciting new start.. You have time, and support...
 
Dak

Dak

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 2, 2021
Messages
58
Location
Moon
For me there is no right amount of anxiety currently. Any thought sets me off.
 

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