my two penneth
i was diagnosed with schizophrenia. now its bipolar. from asocietal point of view that's like going from darth vader to bonzo the clown.
what links the two is psychosis. i despise using the language of psychiatry. so instead of saying psychosis i prefer t say phenomena.
the phenomena, for me anyway, as someone above noted, have covered quite a large range of thoughts, feelings, emotions, visions, voices, colours, insights and impulses over the years.
not all of it has been bad though. in fact, some of it has been pretty exhilarating - distortions of perception particularly so. the worst part for me has been the problems with focus, particularly in terms of planning and conversation. ask asimple question, get a 15 minute cosmic journey in full technicolour.
i'm much better at selfmanagement these days. i'm med-free and have been for, oooo, agood 8 years. however, i'm very erratic, which pains me sometimes, but you have to take the rough with the smooth.
through the work of ron coleman and others ive learnt to 'own' my experiences and through mostly self-taught CBT am now mostly able to rationalise the internal drama. its a struggle, isnt it for everyone? but, i'm humble, i really think that's vital to good mental health. so i take care to attend to the simple parts of life. like eating well, excercising daily (and not too excessively), taking time to rest etc
paranoia and suspicious thoughts and feelings are exhausting at times to keep under control, but i manage it, and just talking sometimes, just airing my concerns, make a big difference and keeps things in perspective.
theres a lot of suffering, a lot of pain - but, i keep my eye forwards and try and make each day count, in some positive way. being nice to someone, even if it's just a smile to a stranger and thena smile back (especially if she's pretty) little things like that, can give a needed boost.