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what is mental health? lets scrap the stigma


A R Hellings

New member
Aug 14, 2020
Thetford, Norfolk
Let us share the hell out this….

We need to raise awareness of mental health and take away the stigma of mental health. It is a long one but an important one.

Who is this? What is this? How is this?

Pen profile of what people see or think that they know…. 31year old? Mother? Daughter? Friend? Partner? Self-harmer? Flashbacks? Nightmares? Attention seeker? Grumpy? Natural bitch face? Weird?

What has she got mental health for; she has everything?

They're so much to someone other than the shell people see on the outside. What has happened to someone for them to be in the passion there are in now?

Let me explain what this is…….

Yes, it is a 31-year-old and a mother, a daughter and so much more. But this is also untreated PTSD for 7 years.

This is a mother who had her first child at 19 years old, a little tiny bundle of joy born 12 weeks early weighing 2lb 2oz, at the age of 19 she watched her son fight for his life. This mother prayed and fought for her son. She won the fight her son is now 12 years old and fighting the world with her.

This mother then had to give her daughter CPR for over 45mins on her own due to a shortage of ambulance resources. This is a mother who gave CPR on her own to be told her daughter did not make it. She was 3 months old and this mother had lost her daughter. This mother was broken, this family was broken, and this mother was sent home that day without her daughter. She was sent home daughterless and no support from professionals. At the age of 24 years old this mother and family had to plan a funeral for their 3-month-old baby. This mother and family literally dragged their arses through life feeling every other bump on its way.

This mother was then blessed with a healthy little boy, he was a healthy happy boy sent to the family to help them heal.

This mother world was hit with a bomb again when her older son had to has a heart operation due to a whole that was not closing by itself. It was a simple operation, but it was in London away from the family support she needed. But her fighting attitude and her son's fighting attitude got them home just in time for Christmas to be with the family.

Again, this mother kept going, kept fighting the demands and family struggles with no professional help, while working full time to keep her family going. She also started a finished a degree in these years. There was no stopping this mother she would fight tooth and nail for her family.

Again, another beautiful daughter entered her world. It did not replace her other daughter she had lost but it filled that heart reneging feeling she had that she needed that little girl in her life. And again, this mother went through what no mother should go through, her second daughter's heart stopped. This mother again had to give CPR to her second daughter. She was rushed through to London intensive care unit. The doctors and nurses kept fighting and they had saved her. The fight had only just started to begin for this mother’s second daughter. While in intensive care her heart nearly stopped again following a seizure and again the doctors and nurses saved her. This mother and Father were in London alone with no family not knowing if their daughter was going to survive. They only had the clothes they stood up in. The longest three weeks of this mother’s life was a hurdle every hour of every day. The determination of the doctors, nurses, father, and mother they got to take their daughter home but not without the training to bring her home and the machines and oxygen she needed. Everything changed at home, the family whole life was around the care that was needed for this little girl. This mother thought day and night to keep this family going. She tried to give her sons the love and attention they deserved while still giving the daily/hourly care her daughter needed. This mother is so determined in life that she kept working full time through all of this. Not just working but working her way up through her career. Things became more normalized in this mother’s family life; the routine had been put in place to get the family through each day and this mother kept going not moaning or winging about life just kept going. Kept up with the regular London hospital appointments where it was found that all three children had a genetic condition called Neurofibromatosis (NF1). Anther hurdle this mother jumped over and kept her family going until the mother found out that she was the one who had the same genetic condition and this is when the mother hit the rock and struggled to get back up. But with a short hospital stay this mother for the first time received the help that she needed along time ago and this mother was diagnosed with complex PTSD. When this mother came out of the hospital, she went start back into work due to the coronavirus outbreak. This mother was working on the front-line team trying to save people's lives. Worked hours saving much life but also, unfortunately, losing a lot of people she was caring for and still going home keeping the family going. This mother was sleeping a few hours each night, the flashbacks of giving CPR to her daughters and the pain and struggles of coronavirus, every night was a fear and a struggle because this mother knew what each night was going to do to her. This mother went through all these flashbacks alone, kept it all bottled up not telling a soul. Each flashback came with thoughts of not being able to do this anymore and each flashback came with more of a plan to end her life. This mother felt she could not continue this daily fight in life which led to another hospital stay to help control the flashbacks and continued when this mother was ready to fight the world again.

This started to improve for the family and the mother when she found out her older son was also self-harming and was not telling anyone. This mother did what every mother would do, the guard went up and called out to every service she could think of to help her son, and together they got through it. This family kept going, this mother had kept going. She started opening up to family and friends what life was throwing at her. She started getting fit again, started running, started classes as she knew it was something that helped get her through life. She even took time out for herself to be Amy, not just this mother. The flashbacks were getting less and easier to control. This mother then was hit by a different wall to fight, this mother, daughter, friend was sexually assaulted. Again, her flashbacks were back, not just at night but during the day. This mother was waking the family up nearly every night screaming and crying. Another hurdle to jump over while trying to keep the family going this mother was at her wits end again but determined to keep going.

So, this is a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a partner, a care support worker, and whatever else you want to see her as.

BUT, It’s not just PTSD! It's not attention-seeking! It is not just another self-harmer and it is not JUST MENTAL HEALTH. This is what PTSD and mental health really are. How had it got to this without the professional help of this mother and family?

You want to think I’m grumpy, or I’m selfish, I have a bitch face or whatever you want to think of me I don’t care because I know I’m A, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a partner, a friend BUT I AM STILL A. I am not my condition. I AM A.
Last edited by a moderator:


Well-known member
Forum Guide
Nov 10, 2019
You are a person
With a history
A present
A future

Do you need any help at the moment? There are organisations that might be able to offer some support to make life a tiny bit easier for you. You have been through so much, so strong.

Keep going.
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