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What is going on!!!

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Andy13697

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Hey guys i am in a mess. My life is turning upside down my family have disowned me the one person who i could count on my partner and i have messed it up becuase of my behaivor the way i act and what i say. She is the first person to take time out to get to know my past and it ment alot to me. It feels like i am going back in to a dark hole. I am emotional, i feel like everything i touch or love i mess up i hate my self i tell my self that no one loves. I cant handle it any more i am shruggling. What can i do. Please dont say see a doctor and get anti depressants i dont want them they monged me out last time.
 
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Andy13697

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Yeah, i am starting one monday. But i cant lose my partner she is my world she keeps me together. I have been shruggling for months now. And because of that my behavoir has changed and she has giving up on me and it hurts me more than i can bare. I am so emotional this is the first time its about a woman
 

MarlieeB

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I'm glad you are starting a talking therapy.

Can you sit her down and have a honest chat between the two of you, get everything out in the open? Explain how you are feeling, say that it isn't her that is making you feel like you are and just reafirm your love for her.

x

It's bound to be an emotional time for you at the moment, with how you have been struggling so much but you are trying to do something about it, by going to therapy.
 
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Andy13697

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We have sat down and had a talk about it. She wants me to get my own place and start from their. But i think she wont she will leave me for good and never talk to me again she is way to good for me and dont deserve her at all. And i ruined it by being insurcue lying etc. i am worthless. Thats how i am strongly feeling right now. Sorry for the langauge but i am a fuck up.
 

MarlieeB

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No need to be sorry for the language. I swear all the time, it doesn't bother me in the slightest :)

From what I'm reading it seems that she feels that the two of you need some space, to be still together be have some space from each other. It seems to me that she does want to be with you but needs some space. You can start then by going out on dates and going from there.

You aren't worthless, you are just struggling right now.

x
 
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Andy13697

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yeah i agree with what you say. She says she loves me but i dont know weather to believe or thats me being a dick thinking that. I need her she keeps me together, as i have no family my daughters mother has stopped me from seeing and speaking to her. I have recently recived my files from soical services. I have been so paranoid in the past i have searched her phone thinking she is seeing someone else, i act like a child some times. I dont know why i have done all this stuff i think its becuase i think i dont deservice her she is to good for me.
 

MarlieeB

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When you feel insecure it is easy to think these kinds of thought in my opinion. I certainly do all the time.

My honest opinion? I think the two of you need a little time apart well, not apart but like going back to basics, having dates, having your therapy, hopefully try and learn to control your feelings etc. Of course, you don't have to listen to me.

Is there any way at all that you could see your daughter, even if it's supervised contact and slowly get that relationship going again?

x
 
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Andy13697

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I dont know why i do, its stupid. I agree and she has said that to me her self. And we did say about dates and that. I cant lose her i will ho to breaking point if i do as she has been their for when my family disowned me and the ex turned on me. Its really nice having someone to talk to thankyou marliee. And advice is nice. And the ex is a complete c**t sorry for that word.
 

MarlieeB

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I'm sure that you won't lose her.

If I was you I would get a free one hour session of legal advice if you can find a place that does that and see what you can do to get the ball rolling with getting to see your daughter again.

I need to go to bed now. I'll check up on this thread later today.

Take care Andy.

Marliee x
 
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Andy13697

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But thats what i am constantly thinking tho i am going to lose her. I look at her and think she is beautiful why the fuck have i gone i messed it up. Because i am a loser and no one wants me. She is an amazing woman i would jump in harms way for her i love her that much. Its hassel to go to solistor its more money i have to fork out that i dont have. Ok speak to you later and thankyou
 
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Andy13697

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Still like like my life isnt worth living marliee
 
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Andy13697

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Not really didnt go sleep till like 4 and woke up at 9
 

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