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What is BPD? A brief explanation:

E

everything

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Wisconsin
Oh heck, some of us learned how to control the outcomes so described that we are prone to. Self harm comes in rainbows, an infinite palette. That doesn't mean we didn't ride the teetering edge many times. We knew something was wrong, very wrong. We knew the stigma of being "outed", was worse than the disorder. We hid from everything, everyone, especially ourselves, we kept the shields up. Sometimes, we got lucky, and found someone who would stay with us, (for awhile), mostly because they stopped believing that we would ever leave them. Music eventually became my FP, most people would just use you, taunt you, abuse you, bringing out that passive aggressive side that just sends you right back into hiding. Eventually .. you just shut everyone out, except for those few lifelong friends that just never left you, because they know .. you know.
 
SwanLake

SwanLake

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
1,137
Oh heck, some of us learned how to control the outcomes so described that we are prone to. Self harm comes in rainbows, an infinite palette. That doesn't mean we didn't ride the teetering edge many times. We knew something was wrong, very wrong. We knew the stigma of being "outed", was worse than the disorder. We hid from everything, everyone, especially ourselves, we kept the shields up. Sometimes, we got lucky, and found someone who would stay with us, (for awhile), mostly because they stopped believing that we would ever leave them. Music eventually became my FP, most people would just use you, taunt you, abuse you, bringing out that passive aggressive side that just sends you right back into hiding. Eventually .. you just shut everyone out, except for those few lifelong friends that just never left you, because they know .. you know.
BPD needn’t be a life sentence. There are therapies that can help you regulate your extreme emotions. It’s not a weakness, nothing to be either ashamed or embarrassed about, it’s just an illness that many people suffer from.
 
C

Cassiebun

Member
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Australia
I was diagnosed in 2002 with BPD and this was poo pooed by my GP however I have been on various levels of Sertraline since 50mg to 200mg. I am going to see if I can have a proper diagnosis of my '\condition' as I don't think the way I function is right . I get fixated on things such as past episodes or an argument with someone and this is slowly destroying my life.

I was in the past promiscuous and have had a huge drink problem and now largly stay away from drink as this has ruined my life.

Do you know if obsessing over things is part of BPD?
 
C

Cassiebun

Member
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Australia
Oh heck, some of us learned how to control the outcomes so described that we are prone to. Self harm comes in rainbows, an infinite palette. That doesn't mean we didn't ride the teetering edge many times. We knew something was wrong, very wrong. We knew the stigma of being "outed", was worse than the disorder. We hid from everything, everyone, especially ourselves, we kept the shields up. Sometimes, we got lucky, and found someone who would stay with us, (for awhile), mostly because they stopped believing that we would ever leave them. Music eventually became my FP, most people would just use you, taunt you, abuse you, bringing out that passive aggressive side that just sends you right back into hiding. Eventually .. you just shut everyone out, except for those few lifelong friends that just never left you, because they know .. you know.
I find I am getting worse as I get older. My husband is lovely but doesn't understand me at all. He is the calmest person I know. I often wish for his sake I'd stayed on my own as we married late in life then I could wallow in my oen misery without hurting anyone else. It's torture every day lately. I have maybe one good day a week where I feel "normal".
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
281
Location
London, ON
Things can get better for us. We can be "better".

For most of my life, my family refused to admit I had an issue. Issues. the only people that got it, were two of my ex's, and it terrified both of them. One of them, though, has been a supportive friend for 30 years. It took a breakdown, but it made my parents understand how bad things were, and now, they are supportive. So supportive.

I had a lot of help from a couple amazing doctors, and some counselors, took DBT, CBT, and found some meds that make a difference. The meds keep me calm enough to use my DBT and CBT to get through most stuff fairly well.

Like, I had to put my little dog to sleep on my birthday, and got through it. I had a close friendship, the one that helped me deal with losing Squigglepig, explode. Kind of ironic, because it wasn't what I did, it was that I didn't try to be more than friends. And she has her own issues.

And then I lost 3 close friends in a month last December. I managed.

When I saw I got through it, or I managed, I don't mean it wasn't a big deal - all of those events were devastating, I was miserable for months, had to go back to my doctors... but I did it. I found help and got all the things done I needed to do on a day to day basis.

I'm usually kinda gray feeling, but I have good days and times, and teh dark moods don't wreck my life.

I guess I'm saying that, over time, if we try, we can build a strong enough routine and support framework that we keep going by habit no matter how grim things are.
 
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