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What is BPD? A brief explanation:

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Walrus32

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Jul 25, 2016
Messages
154
have recently been given this diagnosis after 20 years of mental health problems, psychosis, depression, anxiety.
i can see a lot of myself in the diagnosis, the impulsivity, especially. But, am struggling with something someone said to me which was that we are manipulative. This has had a reall negative effect on me and lead me to look at all the stuff i have done in my life in a really negative way. I feel like i have manipulated everyone i have ever met, in some way or another. Really confussed and scared.
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

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It's horrible to be labeled manipulative, I know where you're coming from. Marsha Lineman, the well-known expert on BPD who developed DBT believes it's wrong to call people with BPD manipulative, it's more that expressions of pain are taken to be thought-out, intentional attempts to get particular reactions, when they're actually not:

Psychologist Marsha M. Linehan has stated that people with borderline personality disorder often exhibit behaviors which are not truly manipulative, but are erroneously interpreted as such.[10] According to her, these behaviors often appear as unthinking manifestations of intense pain, and are often not deliberate as to be considered truly manipulative. In the DSM-V, manipulation was removed as a defining characteristic of borderline personality disorder.

From Psychological manipulation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I agree with her, it's not actually manipulation in the true sense of the word. And I'm glad to see it's been dropped as a defining characteristic.

Does this make sense, I'm not sure how well I've explained what I mean. I hope this helps. Try not to be hard on yourself, you haven't manipulated everyone you've ever met. You are in pain and deserve compassion and understanding.
 
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W

Walrus32

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154
yeah, makes sense. but still finding it hard to not think that way. Also its what other people tthink about what i done to others that i find hard. Don't think anyone wants to know me anymore, cause of the things i have done in the past.
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

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Yes I understand, it can still be hard not to think along those lines. I'm sorry it feels like no-one wants to know you, that sounds very lonely. Sometimes people give us more second chances than we expect them to, people sometimes surprise me with how they can be willing to put things behind them, and let bygones be bygones. Not always though of course. I think all we can really do is try and have compassion for ourselves for the things we have got wrong in the past, compassion because if we had not been experiencing painful emotions and symptoms we probably wouldn't have done them. As for other people, no they may not change their view of your actions, but if they are open-minded maybe they will one day see that there was pain behind the things that were done, rather than intent to cause harm or upset. But that is in their hands. So I guess trying to understand what led to certain behaviours is the best route to avoiding them happening again, and trying to believe that the future can be different. Are you getting any help or treatment?
 
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Walrus32

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Jul 25, 2016
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Yeah, Started seeing a psychologist. And on drugs, obviously! Got crisis team at the moment and CPN.
 
Jasmine-love

Jasmine-love

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Jul 26, 2016
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It's horrible to be labeled manipulative, I know where you're coming from. Marsha Lineman, the well-known expert on BPD who developed DBT believes it's wrong to call people with BPD manipulative, it's more that expressions of pain are taken to be thought-out, intentional attempts to get particular reactions, when they're actually not:

Psychologist Marsha M. Linehan has stated that people with borderline personality disorder often exhibit behaviors which are not truly manipulative, but are erroneously interpreted as such.[10] According to her, these behaviors often appear as unthinking manifestations of intense pain, and are often not deliberate as to be considered truly manipulative. In the DSM-V, manipulation was removed as a defining characteristic of borderline personality disorder.

From Psychological manipulation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I agree with her, it's not actually manipulation in the true sense of the word. And I'm glad to see it's been dropped as a defining characteristic.

Does this make sense, I'm not sure how well I've explained what I mean. I hope this helps. Try not to be hard on yourself, you haven't manipulated everyone you've ever met. You are in pain and deserve compassion and understanding.
This was very comforting to me. Thank you and thanks walrus for asking about it. I have been accused of this many times, I tell myself that if I was really being manipulative wouldn't I manipulate things so that my life is better; not worse!
 
SarahD

SarahD

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I would also say that the BPD diagnosis covers a wide range of traits and many people will have just a few. Take time to think carefully about it and don't assume since it is on the list you have it.
 
J

Joshi

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Jun 15, 2017
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2
I like this post alot because it keeps a clear diffrence between certain 'types' of borderline and what i find myself is there to be degree's because i have found my balance but i have had borderline from a early age and will most likely have it my whole life. They say you will become more quit when your older but i am very hyper and almost 30 and not even the slitest change. Not ment bad but i am looking for peole that also have it for life have accepted it and found theire balance bevause i dony mind being lonely but the feeling of being one of your kind is rlly irritating.
 
D

Dory

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Dec 30, 2017
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Hi guys,yeah,the manipulative trait in EUPD is,I believe blown out of proportion.everone has the ability to be manipulative, everyone.but it sticks to us like glue.as does the mind games,lies, attention seeking etc.when I was first diagnosed I thought my psychiatrist was making it up,never heard about it before then.im also diagnosed with bipolar... double whammy.lol
 
W

whatisdis

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Jan 23, 2018
Messages
1
Hello everyone,

I'm not quite sure thats how it works here but I dont know where else to post this.
The only reason I joined this website is because I might have some kind of disorder.
I dont know which one, I dont know anything really, i just know something is off? And that maybe you guys could help me figure stuff out?

I just turned 20, I am a female. If you think you could be of any help here or just wanna talk, I would be more than glad to share with you.

Good evening, hope this is going to work
 
Groot

Groot

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Aug 15, 2017
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198
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To understand a true Borderline... think White swan ~ Black swan. Rare bird with both white and black feathered wings. Magnificent, pristine, pure as fresh fallen virgin snow angels .... but also soooo horribly dark and bitter, black as pitch, angry, vicious, savage, furious fucking rage that would scare the devil himself.

Your Honor, in my defense, I did try to warn all my ex lovers and therapists.
 
C

coralkarina

New member
Joined
May 21, 2018
Messages
1
Hello everyone,

I'm not quite sure thats how it works here but I dont know where else to post this.
The only reason I joined this website is because I might have some kind of disorder.
I dont know which one, I dont know anything really, i just know something is off? And that maybe you guys could help me figure stuff out?

I just turned 20, I am a female. If you think you could be of any help here or just wanna talk, I would be more than glad to share with you.

Good evening, hope this is going to work
Hey,

I too feel this way. I have a diagnosis of depression/general anxiety disorder since 2012/13 and feel also that it's not just those two that I have but I think I may have borderline disorder too... can anyone help me?

Thanks.
 
L

Losingwhoiam

Member
Joined
May 24, 2018
Messages
5
Hi people.
I hope it’s okay to post in here. I can’t figure out how to start a new thread.
But this has become my last resort to be honest. I got diagnosed with bpd when I was 20 and now almost 10 years on I’m struggling to see a way out.
I’ve been waiting on the mental health team but things are taking forever. I’ve been hospitalised through self injury before ect... my relationships just fall apart because I go distant and don’t want intimacy ect... it’s all just driving me mad now. I’ve tried most anti depressants and the dr said I can’t go on mood stabilisers until I’ve seen my councelor and they agree to it. Things are just getting too hard now again. I haven’t self harmed in 4 years but recently the urge is just getting too strong to stop it anymore. I know I’m laying my soul on this thread and I appologise but I can’t talk to anybody as nobody understands
Or wants to understand because they have their own stuff to deal with. I’m just at the end of what I can’t take
 
Drooo

Drooo

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Jun 8, 2016
Messages
876
Location
UK
I hope it’s okay to post in here. I can’t figure out how to start a new thread.
Just go to the forum page of your choice, for example, here in 'Borderline Personality Disorder,' and then click on the Red + Post New Thread box that is at the top towards the left, and then fill things in. If you start a thread it may get more reads and be better suited instead of being in here.

In the meantime, do not self-harm. You've been doing really well, stay with it and don't allow yourself to drop into that negative pattern of doing that again.
 
L

Losingwhoiam

Member
Joined
May 24, 2018
Messages
5
Just go to the forum page of your choice, for example, here in 'Borderline Personality Disorder,' and then click on the Red + Post New Thread box that is at the top towards the left, and then fill things in. If you start a thread it may get more reads and be better suited instead of being in here.

In the meantime, do not self-harm. You've been doing really well, stay with it and don't allow yourself to drop into that negative pattern of doing that again.
Okay thankyou very much for your help
 
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