• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

What is BPD? A brief explanation:

M

MsContradictoryMystery

Guest
Looking up symptoms on the internet is a bit dangerous as you can easily over/mis diagnose although it can be helpful in giving you clues on whether you might have a specific mental health issue that might need to be looked in to further with a professional , as for hearing voices etc , I think that only occurs in extreme cases, so no it's not a "necessary" symptom. I have known many people with bpd who haven't experienced that. I think it's around a minimum of 5 symptoms needed for a diagnosis though but I can't be sure I remember that part right.
 
M

MsContradictoryMystery

Guest
It does. Interpersonal skills - dealing with people is meant to be one of the biggest(and most common) challenges for people with bpd which is why DBT (specialized therapy used for bpd sufferers) focuses a lot on learning to develop better social skills/ interpersonal skills. I would try not to be so hard on yourself, people with bpd have usually had a lot of trauma and find it difficult to trust so it makes sense that bonding with others proves scary and difficult but through learning etc this can get easier/better.
 
M

mdm4mazing

Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2014
Messages
13
Location
essex
i found this very useful to show to a friend who i choose to help after my diagnosis as i simple couldn't put it in to words well enough to describe the disorder to someone who does not have it. thank you xxx
 
C

cfb107

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 20, 2014
Messages
46
My opinions:

ADHD occurs frequently in people with BPD.

ADHD is the only childhood mental disorder known to be associated with a higher chance of developing adult ADHD.

My perspective is the disorder is a combination of the following individually or both together: (1) Chronic Childhood trauma/stress/instability (2) Complex neurological problems.

My suspicion is there may be subtypes (and some people may be more than one of these): Chronic Childhood (or early life) Trauma/Stress subtype, ADHD subtype, Bipolar Subtype. This is my theory of course, but there seems to be significant overlap with those factors.

Edit: I directly know 5 people diagnosed earlier in life with ADHD, later when they became extremely emotionally out of control the ADHD was forgotten and they were diagnosed BPD. Not one of these "dual diagnosis" people is coping at all well in life, despite about half of them receiving psychiatric supervision.
There is thought to be a link between ADHD, trauma in early infancy, and BPD (at least by the author Oliver James). See pp.202-204 in 'They F*** You Up'.
 
G

girard

Active member
Joined
Aug 10, 2015
Messages
40
I like your quote.I am reading a couple of books about BPD ,They have already helped me so much.The more you know the better it is.I am putting into practice what I have learned,it was a revelation.I couldnt understand what was going on in my sons head ,I didnt know if I was doing or saying the right thing,I could see his frustration, I could feel his pain,but I felt completely bewildered.I always knew, felt, I was part of the problem but I couldnt see how.Everything has now taken a turn for the better,I know I will make loads of mistakes,but thats ok, we will get over it.I bought my son a book about living with BPD,(I know it will help him,) he had lost hope.Things have changed a lot and so quickly,and I am only half way through my book, it does my head in,its a lot to get your head around ,I know I will have to read it more than once.
 
G

girard

Active member
Joined
Aug 10, 2015
Messages
40
One thing I have realized is that it is really hard being a single parent,yes its hard work,but its also hard to always do or say the right thing at the right time. I have always beaten myself up about this, I was my own worst enemy,trying to be the perfect mother and father,when I knew I couldnt be both ,but I still kept trying.
 
Punkzee

Punkzee

Member
Joined
Oct 10, 2015
Messages
19
Location
Australia
I was diagnosed in 2002 with BPD and this was poo pooed by my GP however I have been on various levels of Sertraline since 50mg to 200mg. I am going to see if I can have a proper diagnosis of my '\condition' as I don't think the way I function is right . I get fixated on things such as past episodes or an argument with someone and this is slowly destroying my life.

I was in the past promiscuous and have had a huge drink problem and now largly stay away from drink as this has ruined my life.

Do you know if obsessing over things is part of BPD?
Yes, obsessing or ruminating over certain problems/life events/situations seems to be common. What seems to happen is bpd sufferers often get badly affected by certain situations and they can't move past it. For example constantly talking about a strained relationship with a relative. Not being able to get past it... in my experience people who have struggled the most to improve with therapy,dbt etc are those who ge5 bogged down with pas5 events..
 
Punkzee

Punkzee

Member
Joined
Oct 10, 2015
Messages
19
Location
Australia
HI! i too have bpd and yes, i would absolutely say from my experience that i too 'obsess' at times over things. Such as, i am unsure why, but i tend to jump back about 3-4 years whenever i have mine get really bad, maybe this is a safe place? when i do, i start to obsess over things i did back then too.

I can also say that the 'impulsiveness' tend to lead me to obsessing too? Eg, i am a crafty person, i make things. My bpd leads me to opbsessively making something, to the point it is my ONLY focus, and i will dedicate every second to it, and i LOVE it, then the next day, bored, never to do again. Onto something else.

I guess what i am trying to say, is that if you find yourself being impulsive, or obsessing over something, and you find it is something you cant control, find a way to turn it into a positive. Eg, i decided to start an online store. I get to sell things, make money, dont have things lying around the house because i have given up, i just finish them, and sell them. The more impulsive, the more i thank my bpd, i will have more products.

Maybe these things "past episodes or an argument with someone" are a sign that something positive can come out of them? What is it about the past episodes that seem to loop? Is there a certain person, an animal, your favorite jumper? Something that is familiar with all of these loops? Maybe find what that is and use it as something to remind you of the happy part of it.


I think going over and covnversations in your head is a result of anxiety/worrying too much about what others think. If you can let go of that you will probably obsess less:)
 
G

girard

Active member
Joined
Aug 10, 2015
Messages
40
I dont have BPD.but I have a very close relative who does.Not many doctors or therapists seem to know about BPD it is a very complicated illness.I bought a book "living with BPD" for my relative who wont read it ,he is too frightened of the label,and that it will make him feel worse, which is a shame because it will really help him.I bought another book called "Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder."a family guide for healing and change."This is a book to help the families understand and help the person who is suffering.Because we always seem to say or do the wrong thing and unintentionaly make things worse.I feel the more you know about BPD the better,for both the sufferer and the friend or family.So often the suffers are offered the wrong therapy,eg anger management etc ,(They can help to a certain extent.)I would say that all of us have some sort of personality disorder that we cant talk about,that we dont like in ourselves, even that we are ashamed of.We all have personalities,we all have weakneses and strengths. thats what makes us who we are.If we didnt have these feelings we woudnt be human.BPD is just an exageration of normal everyday things that happen to everyone,sometimes too much happens and we cant cope,we try to forget the painfull things that happend to us,and there is the problem.We try to forget, to bury these feelings.A lot of things happen to us when we are young,when we dont understand why we feel the way we do,so we try to ignore it,in the hope it will go away.Its too painful we dont want to remember.We dont talk about it , get angry scream cry, get it out of our system,at the time.So when we are older we cant help remembering and still feel the pain as if it were yesterday.There is something called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy,or Intensive Psychological Therapy,this is the best way foreward ,you have to ask for it,and the doctor will have to refer you to your local community mental health team.THey will assess just how bad you feel,No your not crazy,or anything else.You just need to get all this stuff out.To understand why you feel the way you do.I really hope this will help you help yourself.You are not alone.
,
 
G

girard

Active member
Joined
Aug 10, 2015
Messages
40
yes it is.Drinking is self medicating.Have you finnished your therapy. ??? I feel that a lot of people with BPD think that nobody understands them,its true some do and some dont. But one thing is for sure you can get past this.You are a sensitive soul.
 
G

girard

Active member
Joined
Aug 10, 2015
Messages
40
Fairy, I agree with you its really confusing.I dont think of BPD as an illness either, having strong emotions is not an illness.Only if they make you feel depressed anxious or unable to cope.Its very hard to say how you feel and why,if you could do that you wouldnt be ill.All the hormones we women have I find it surprising that most women dont suffer far more than they do.I feel that hormones play a bigger part in being unwell than is realized at the moment, I supposed that is something to be investigated in the future.
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
17,160
BPD is far far more than just having "strong emotions"...!

BPD is suggested to be renamed in the next DMV because it has such negative connotations.

EDD is suggested as the replacement = Emotional Dysregulation Disorder

Because that's what it is.

Take me for example.

I can literally be in the absolute depths of despair one minute, laughing like a loon within 30 seconds.

The tears aren't even dry.

Then im back to despair within a minute, laughing, despair

They call it Labile = changeable

Bipolar has a long cycle - sufferers will go into a days or weeks long mania.

BPD its minutes, sometimes for me seconds, at times.

I equate it to living in an Emotional Washing Machine. This way, that, this way, that

All day, every day, 24/7 for most of my 50 years now, absolutely flooded by strong uncontrollable emotion, usually negative, especially around self, all my gd life, utterly without control or warning or sometimes even Reason.

No wonder im exhausted!

Interestingly ive never self harmed so diagnosis was very slow coming.

It presented as intractable depression.

I also have binge eating disorder, substance abuse disorder, insomnia, somatic symptoms (theres a trip!) impulsivity, used to be promiscuous, black and white thinking, the works.

But my therapist now doesn't think im truly Borderline. I don't behave as extremely as borderlines behave - maybe ive just learnt to control the worst of it somehow.
 
M

MisterPositive

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2016
Messages
17
I made a song and video based on my own experience with BPD along with my own coping strategies which got me completely off of meds and happy :)
https://youtu.be/7hobk-EXmxY
 
Damaged Soul

Damaged Soul

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2016
Messages
4
Location
Toronto, Ontario Canada
hi BorderlineDownunder
I am a new member. I am from Ontario Canada. I currently live in Toronto but I have to move. Long crazy story. I am to unstable to work or rather working makes me unstable. I have a low tolerance to being used or abused at work yet I let my daughter walk all over me. But then again allot of guilt around her because I made her sick like me. Borderlines can't live together. That I am sure of. This next move will be the 20th time in my life I have had to start over. This time however will be the hardest. Rents are completely out of reach for me in the city. I will be homeless by end of March and frankly right now I am so ready to throw away everything I own and just get on a bus and keeping going until I end up in a ditch somewhere to die. I've live like this too long and no professional help has ever helped. Meds just make me more delusional and eventually sick from prolonged side effects or the meds just stop working. Opiates work though but of course they are illegal and painfully addictive. I am finished with all the drug abuse. Stopped all meds 2 months ago. O hell I don't know why I am unloading on you. Sorry but I just feel so hopeless and done for.
 
Damaged Soul

Damaged Soul

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2016
Messages
4
Location
Toronto, Ontario Canada
Very creative video, rap/writing. I did connect with some of it, but then again my creative side has been flooded with depression and my imagination just doesn't work in the positive. All my creativity is dark and full of self hatred. I want to die but have tired 1/2 dozen times to kill myself but I can't do it. So frustrating. My head is full of invasive thoughts. I think I am going mad, insane. Maybe insanity will allow to finally die. It's been just over 30 days without meds.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Top