What if I can't do this?

valleygirl

valleygirl

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School, practicum, course work, I don't know if I can manage this all. Maybe it's better for me to be dead. Money worries, my shoulder injury, I'm so overwhelmed. I'm trying so hard to hold it all together, but it's not working. I'm falling apart, and it's only the beginning of the school year. I don't know how to cope.
:scared::scared::scared::scared::scared::scared::scared::scared::scared::scared:
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

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I know it's hard when you're in a panicked state of mind, but you have coped before (you felt similar when facing exams iirc), and I think you will cope this time too. You are a very able person. It's not better for you to be dead. This amount of pressure is temporary, you will come out the other side of it. Take it one step at a time, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge you are panicking, it's not a crime, it's not anything to beat yourself up for, we can all panic when we feel overwhelmed. Especially when we have lacked the early experiences that give us a feeling of security, and an ability to feel we can rely on ourselves and comfort ourselves when we face distressing stuff or feel under pressure. Yes, you are feeling overwhelmed and panicked, but you can function, you can take the next step that you need to take, it doesn't all have to be done in one enormous, impossible-seeming sprint.

How did the practicum go?

Wishing you peace and respite from everything that's piling on top of you :hug1: xx
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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I am so stressed that I have no appetite. Started the day at 6 a.m. with a smoothie, lunch was an egg salad sandwich and an apple that I forced myself to eat, and after going for an hour walk, picking up groceries on my way home, and having a meltdown that included lots of swearing and shouting about how I want to end my life right now, I haven't managed to eat supper. It's 8:45 pm and I'm not one bit hungry.
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

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Another smoothie? That's what I have when I'm too agitated for solid food. Gets some sustenance into you. Take care vg :hug:
 
tabbykitten

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Valleygirl, you have managed to eat something so try not to worry. Important that you keep your fluid intake up so try a mouthful or two of water several times an hour if you can manage it. Bottled water as it is easier to keep with you!
Hope you get all the study stress eased soon. Don’t look ahead at what has to be done this year - the next small bit of school work is all that matters right now. And I do understand what it is to get panicked like this. I’m currently in a right flap about what I need to organise food wise for a self catering holiday I am sharing with family.!!!!!!
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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I went to the Mood Disorders Association support group this evening and I'm feeling a little better. I haven't gone for quite awhile. They only meet twice a month. Sometimes it's good, and sometimes I end up wishing I had just stayed home. I got a chance tonight to talk about how overwhelmed I am, and how sad I feel about therapy coming to an end at Christmas. Nothing is really resolved, but I feel a bit better, although I feel kind of bad that I dominated the group tonight.
 
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