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What if I am not ready to try recovering?

S

Spectral S

Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Nicaragua
The last month I try to start recovery on my own. My parents don't know I self harm so they can't help me with this.
Of course, self-harm is addictive and like all addictions, it is hard to stay out of it. Deep down I know that what I am doing is bad and I have to stop, but I don't want to. I try to convince myself that I need it, sometimes I am studying and all that I am thinking about is how I want to self-harm. It is like a vicious circle, I self-harm because I am feeling down or stressed, I am stressed cause I need to study, I try to study but I just want to self-harm.

Maybe I am not ready, I think that the only way to cope with this amount of stress is by self-harming and eventually that stress is going to disappear once I do things right. If I stop self-harming like I am trying to do I become deeply depressed and unfocused. I have being feeling so down that the thoughts of self-harming haunt me even during school.

Should I continue trying even if it makes me feel worse? Should I wait a little more to try recovering?
 
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Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
1,204
Location
North Carolina
The thing about sh is its your coping skill. So when your stressed or depressed youve conditioned yourself to sh to deal with it. So if you just stop you now have this huge hole and you dont know how to deal with things.

The only way you're going to be able to get over doing sh is to replace with something else to cope with those emotions. I know alot of people wear rubberbands around their wrists and give themself a hit with it on wrist and their is a million things you can search for coping skills on the internet.

The thing about SH is it is EXTREMELY hard to stop once addicted, even when you do have help. So give it a try. But I strongly recommend you tell your family and get professional help.

Best of luck !
 
S

Spectral S

Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Nicaragua
Thank you for your support. I already looked for replacements, but they are not really as "successful" as self-harming. Yes, will still try to stop doing it, but
 
S

Spectral S

Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Nicaragua
Yes, will still try to stop doing it, but I can't tell my parents about it. I live in Nicaragua mental health is not really a major issue right now besides I don't have the money for a therapist.

The rubber band kind of helps when I am having bad thoughts, I will try to do it again. The thing about feeling this bad is that I have not motivation to try getting better.
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
1,204
Location
North Carolina
Well if youre not motivated its not going to work. Im sorry you dont have access to help. But their os so much info on the internet and mh apps these days. I hope you can find help !
 
Mal84

Mal84

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 15, 2020
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1,475
Location
Hovering in the Atlantic
The thing is, until you have the motivation to stop, the less likely you are to if that makes sense.

I’m not saying to not try but maybe set up some rewards for yourself for not doing it.

One for a week free, two week free, month free etc.
 
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