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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

What does support look/feel like?

J

Javahed

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Oregon
My wife has a fairly large online presence, and is a big advocate of mental health awareness and all that, but I don’t FEEL like I have much support, day to day. Is it me? Am I too dependent? I guess it would have to start with, what even does “support” look like? Day to day. Through ups and downs. Fights, all that. Can I expect that? SHOULD I? If my mind is always putting me down, will I know if the support is there? How would you know if someone wasn’t, or stopped supporting you? What are signs of support fatigue? Like, someone just can’t. How do you know if you should leave someone because you might be too much and dragging them to a darker place? Are these relevant to anything I started with?
I feel very lost and alone and I’m in this weird mental prairie and there is just nothing but clouds and rain for miles.
 
R

RayHendrix

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 21, 2021
Messages
121
Location
Austria
Hi and welcome :)
From personal experience, often when we are depressed we don´t see the good things, only the bad. That´s also true for suppport. I often get into the mood that noone is there for me and that I am getting no help. But when I am back to "normal" I realise that´s not really true. Often, a lot of people just don´t know how you are doing.
I have a friend with who I talked about all the stuff concerning the mental health and had the feeling she was the only one really listening. But recently i told a friend that I am seeing a psychiatrist and all and he was surprisingly supportive. I think he just didn´t really know how bad I was doing before. Although he is one of my longest friends, he allways lived in a diffrent city and we don´t see each other often.
Have you told friends and your wife how you are feeling? Or maybe other family members?
Often we can find way more support than we expected. Also, we often put down and don´t see what the others really did for us when we are depressed.
It can be difficult to talk about these things with friends and family, so going to a professional might be an option too. You do not have to get through everything alone :)
And lastly, I found most people here are very supportive and I hope you will find that too :hug:
 

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