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What does it mean if I’m not suicidal all the time?

  • Thread starter LemonKissesAreSweet
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LemonKissesAreSweet

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Nov 4, 2021
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7
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Alberta
So, last night I had an extremely bad episode of something. I was in so much mental pain and wanted to die and just end it, I even reached out to a crisis line for the first time.

I woke up this morning and now I feel perfectly fine, and I’m even confused about where those thoughts came from. I’m never actively suicidal, and only ever seem to have these episodic periods of suicide ideation. It’s confusing me.

for context: 19F, untreated PTSD, C-PTSD. On medication for severe anxiety, depression and ADHD. I’ve never been in therapy or any thing of the sorts, but am currently waiting for an appointment to see a therapist.
 
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LemonKissesAreSweet

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Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Alberta
I haven’t felt this bad since jr high, and it’s honestly scaring me. My normal ways of calming myself down, like thinking about how my cats would miss me didn’t even work. And these are cats I raised since they were kittens, and get so upset when I leave for school. Total mama’s girls.

I do have a councilling appointment with my schools psychologist, and I am hoping it helps me enough to get to my therapy appointment.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Tigger and Willow's house UK
I haven’t felt this bad since jr high, and it’s honestly scaring me. My normal ways of calming myself down, like thinking about how my cats would miss me didn’t even work. And these are cats I raised since they were kittens, and get so upset when I leave for school. Total mama’s girls.

I do have a councilling appointment with my schools psychologist, and I am hoping it helps me enough to get to my therapy appointment.
Aww your furry angels sound so precious :love: :hug:
 
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cathanifrind174

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May 5, 2021
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177
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Paris, France
You never know where they came from. I had suicidal thoughts months before my wedding and there was no rational explanation for it. I just wanted to kill myself whenever there was too much to do or things happened the way they shouldn't have. I just treat it as a symptom of depression these days. If it troubles, you might want to note it down in diary or something, or speak with a mental health professional. I don't think it's a big thing for those who suffer from depression so long as you recognize it as a symptom and have the means to get out of it. Good on you to have called the helpline.
 
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