• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

What do you feel needs to happen to help?

LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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I have had anxiety quite severely in my late teens, twenties etc.

Especially talking to women.

I had anxiety in the workplace and still do.

I consider myself a lot more relaxed now, but not fully complete.

What do you feel would help?
 
hicks

hicks

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In my workplace they have us all wearing masks. Interestingly I find it boosts my confidence when talking to people.
But I've had problems all my life with social anxiety and self-consciousness. I have improved though, by forcing myself out of my comfort zone (i.e. not talking at all), and making myself talk to people who I see in the kitchen area, when making a coffee. Conversation is a skill like any other, it gets better with practice.
Like you, I do feel a lot more relaxed around people nowadays.
 
PetitPois

PetitPois

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I have anxiety myself when talking to people. It's really tough to overcome. You say it is especially so when talking to women. I think a lot of people struggle with talking to the opposite sex. Like normally, not in a romantic way.

For me with my anxiety, I think I spend too much time guessing what the other person is thinking about me, and then I get all awkward. I am trying to see the person I am talking to and make my own judgements about them as a person instead of being consumed with thoughts of how they see me. Easier said than done. But it was I am striving for. Hopefully this will lower my anxiety and stop me from destroying my confidence. The way I think I create an opinion of myself on their behalf. The reality is, I have no clue what they are really thinking, but once those thoughts take a hold it is hard to get rid of them.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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I have anxiety myself when talking to people. It's really tough to overcome. You say it is especially so when talking to women. I think a lot of people struggle with talking to the opposite sex. Like normally, not in a romantic way.

For me with my anxiety, I think I spend too much time guessing what the other person is thinking about me, and then I get all awkward. I am trying to see the person I am talking to and make my own judgements about them as a person instead of being consumed with thoughts of how they see me. Easier said than done. But it was I am striving for. Hopefully this will lower my anxiety and stop me from destroying my confidence. The way I think I create an opinion of myself on their behalf. The reality is, I have no clue what they are really thinking, but once those thoughts take a hold it is hard to get rid of them.
I feel it would help you if you were more empowered.

Do you know it is very poor form for someone negatively judge you when talking. You could gain empowerment from the outrage of it.

There is nothing wrong from becoming a more powerful person.

Do what you need to do to become more powerful. Play to your strengths.

Yes because sometimes life is a contest and we do fight. That is what life is like.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Interview with a schizophrenic - Apple/ Spotify
In my workplace they have us all wearing masks. Interestingly I find it boosts my confidence when talking to people.
But I've had problems all my life with social anxiety and self-consciousness. I have improved though, by forcing myself out of my comfort zone (i.e. not talking at all), and making myself talk to people who I see in the kitchen area, when making a coffee. Conversation is a skill like any other, it gets better with practice.
Like you, I do feel a lot more relaxed around people nowadays.
I had the kitchen anxiety in my 20s. Also had it a few years ago when I worked as a volunteer.

The volunteer one was interesting because I feel I had lost my social skills and confidence due to being on benefits for so long. I was rusty. It took a few months of being back in a tough workplace to become confident again.
 
PetitPois

PetitPois

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Thanks Burt. That is a point of view I have not heard before. Certainly something to ponder.
 
B

Bipolarbear808

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I have had anxiety quite severely in my late teens, twenties etc.

Especially talking to women.

I had anxiety in the workplace and still do.

I consider myself a lot more relaxed now, but not fully complete.

What do you feel would help?
Have you ever heard of "Exposure Therapy" before? basically you do a little bit of what makes you anxious everyday and as you get used to doing it you get more comfortable and feel less anxious. For example if talking to women makes you anxious; start out by just saying hello to a women each day; and then the next week say hello and ask them how they are doing; and maybe the next time find something nice they are wearing and ask them about it.

I'm not gonna lie it's a little awkward at first and it's not easy, but if you can get past the first few weeks it does get a lot easier.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Interview with a schizophrenic - Apple/ Spotify
Have you ever heard of "Exposure Therapy" before? basically you do a little bit of what makes you anxious everyday and as you get used to doing it you get more comfortable and feel less anxious. For example if talking to women makes you anxious; start out by just saying hello to a women each day; and then the next week say hello and ask them how they are doing; and maybe the next time find something nice they are wearing and ask them about it.

I'm not gonna lie it's a little awkward at first and it's not easy, but if you can get past the first few weeks it does get a lot easier.
Thanks, but I am comfortable these days. It was a big issue when I was younger but it appears to become a lot more natural as I have aged.
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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Sometimes I think life would be easier if I was someone else. But then I remember that other people have their own problems, too. I think for me I need a lot of therapy and the right kind of medications. So far I have a medication that helps me sleep. I need to find one for my anxiety. I wish the world was a good place. I wish the world was like Animal Crossing. Everyone would be happy and friendly and if someone has bad days, we would help them and together help each other.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Interview with a schizophrenic - Apple/ Spotify
Sometimes I think life would be easier if I was someone else. But then I remember that other people have their own problems, too. I think for me I need a lot of therapy and the right kind of medications. So far I have a medication that helps me sleep. I need to find one for my anxiety. I wish the world was a good place. I wish the world was like Animal Crossing. Everyone would be happy and friendly and if someone has bad days, we would help them and together help each other.
Hi

Yes I think the young generation who grew up with Nintendo are quite sensitive and gentle.

Medication has it's place but I would caution it be relied on as a cure.

Sometimes it is easier to view the world through a smartphone camera tho. Which might not be such a bad thing.

TBH with age and maturity anxiety decreased. :)
 
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celticlass

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Oh I think my ability to deal with anxiety has lessened with age. Note I did not say there was any difference in the level of the anxiety, just that it gets to me more at this age. In a difficult work environment I literally used to shake inside with anxiety [I now wonder if this could have had a bipolar link]. So now I seek calm. I have not worked sine 2013. I tried two very different roles - working in a busy cafe and then 10 hours per week in a bakery. I could do neither. I could not concentrate, did not have the physical stamina and found the interactions with some members of staff very difficult. So that is not now for me. This is why I am trying to get down to writing, and moving forward with Reiki. My spirituality is very important to me. I find meditation a great relaxation tool and am going to try to do it regularly.
 
Scapes1986

Scapes1986

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I have had anxiety quite severely in my late teens, twenties etc.

Especially talking to women.

I had anxiety in the workplace and still do.

I consider myself a lot more relaxed now, but not fully complete.

What do you feel would help?
Well I had anxiety going into my late twenties. I literally couldn’t sit still. Now a days I’m more calm but I do feel physically run down from it all. What would help? If I had it now? Slow breathing techniques and a shower. That’s about it. Other then that I keep emergency medication around just in case.
 

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