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What do you do when you feel people dont care?

A

Autumnwinter

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Uk
I am my own worst enemy I will tell people I'm fine when they ask even thought it's not true. I dont feel as if I want to burden people or make them worry about me as then I will feel guilty and then feel worse.

However today is my first valentines day single in 8 years. I ended things with my boyfriend before christmas yet none of my best friends have even messaged me to see how I am.

I feel as if I should just open up to someone yet feel like if they clearly dont care why bother. I know they are busy with their own lives and relationships but I know I would have sent a message if they were in my shoes so just sucks.
 
wollie

wollie

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2019
Messages
1,220
Location
warwick
Hi Autumnwinter

This is a big problem that faces many of us, we just dont share , and every thing builds up inside then we feel worse, do you not have any one to talk to even you gp or phyc.
Sorry about the bust up seem you friends are not so friendly, I would have come round to see if you were all right.
All the best woolie.
 
S

Subota999

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
94
Location
US
It's true everyone is always busy with their own lives and are probably going through things as well, most of us do in some way or another...it's easy for me to forget that. I feel like a lot of people also just may not know how to help or feel they might make things worse...but I know that doesn't make it any easier really when the loneliness hits. This is a simple answer but really, when I feel really lonely I tend to watch a bunch of funny videos, I have a playlist on my YouTube ^_^ it helps in the sense of just distracting me for a bit...I know most of the time people are just busy or drained by their own lives too, but it's still hard sometimes :hug1:
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
394
Location
England
Not many people care i'm afraid. It is a hard lesson to learn but people just want to have fun on their terms, take from you what they need, and if it gets too hard, you complain too much for too long, are too needy or too emotional, they cannot handle it or don't like it. I think it is ok that people are like this and i am like it myself. I care, but only as much as i feel i can give. Ultimately, we are all focused on ourselves and that is ok. Some people are focused on their children more and that is good, but not all are.
 
P

Purpleplum

Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
24
Location
U.S.
It's probably inborn. Animals in the wild abandon the sick or injured one. Survival of the fittest. In the past we stayed together in groups because it was needed for survival. That's not the case anymore and people are more into themselves. Just look at Facebook or similar social media sites which has made self-involvement worse.

Keep trying to find people who do care and build strength from within.
 
M

Marianda

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
324
Location
South America
During my whole life i felt nobody ever cared about me and this includes my parents. I left my home pretty young and started living by myself. I felt it was less painful to be by myself rather than in a house with a family who never cared about me.

I always wanted a "home" and I married expecting to have one but my marriage failed.

The story of my life has been lonliness and i dont think it will ever change. I am not so young right now and i would love to have someone to share my life with. Unfortunately i have not found that person. In the few occassions where i thought i found someone worthwhile to be with, things did not ended well.

So, today Im alone, i know no one cares about me and really it does not bother me. When people ask how i am, i always answer "im fine". But deep inside my spirit i feel totally broken.
 
Z

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
323
Location
North Carolina
I am my own worst enemy I will tell people I'm fine when they ask even thought it's not true. I dont feel as if I want to burden people or make them worry about me as then I will feel guilty and then feel worse.

However today is my first valentines day single in 8 years. I ended things with my boyfriend before christmas yet none of my best friends have even messaged me to see how I am.

I feel as if I should just open up to someone yet feel like if they clearly dont care why bother. I know they are busy with their own lives and relationships but I know I would have sent a message if they were in my shoes so just sucks.

People are very self involved on a holiday like Valentine's day. Dont take it personally. Im sure if you told someone they would comfort you and you can always post here and you know we listen !
 
A

Autumnwinter

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Uk
Thanks everyone I just went to bed in the end. I find it easier to just go to sleep sometimes even if its early rather than feel rubbish! :)
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
394
Location
England
People cannot understand unless they have some experience or are a special type of person. Those special people seem to wear down easily though, so their sympathy only goes so far. It all depends on the person too as i have a friend who is very positive and so if i ever talk about mental health, her face looks blank, because she cannot relate in any way and chooses to ignore sadness and pull her socks up. Some people live like that and don't dwell on sad things or let anything get in their way.

They are focused on their own problems and children though. That is normal.
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
2,491
The problem with second-guessing that no one cares enough to listen is that it's self-perpetuating. You don't think that anyone will listen, so you keep it to yourself, which can make it worse. In turn, you feel that it's a larger problem and that if anyone cared before, they wouldn't care enough to listen to a bigger problem. It's a cycle, and one that you really need to break for anything to change. I know that losing your partner can be tough, as they can often be the person you go to talk about your problems, but you need to talk to a good friend about what you're going through. If they're a good friend, they'll be happy to talk about it, and glad that you trust them enough to come to them about it :)
 
AnxiousE

AnxiousE

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 8, 2020
Messages
446
Location
USA
I am my own worst enemy I will tell people I'm fine when they ask even thought it's not true. I dont feel as if I want to burden people or make them worry about me as then I will feel guilty and then feel worse.

However today is my first valentines day single in 8 years. I ended things with my boyfriend before christmas yet none of my best friends have even messaged me to see how I am.

I feel as if I should just open up to someone yet feel like if they clearly dont care why bother. I know they are busy with their own lives and relationships but I know I would have sent a message if they were in my shoes so just sucks.
I just wanted to return the favor since you commented on one of my posts. (I really appreciate that)

But I can actually totally relate to your post here! I mean, the part about when something goes wrong but no one seems to care or message. And just to add that in general, I'm the first to initiate conversation with almost everyone, the exception being my parents. Anyway, well I wish I had a better answer. I know it seems to suck either way, but here's what I'd do. I'd try to reach out to someone. Give them a chance to listen to you. A lot of people really just forget to remember. (Have you seen Home Alone 2? Kevin describes it in that movie). Anyway, the point is sometimes you have to give people a nudge and then they respond in kindness and willingness to help you. But, if all else fails, you now have this forum of supportive people. I hope you find someone you can talk to about your feelings. I'm here to listen.
Best wishes!
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
394
Location
England
I agree with AnxiousE, that you need to give people a chance. If they don't respond then you know they cannot cope with other people's problems in general, or just not at that time, or just not you. I'd give someone a couple of chances. Ten years later, if you are still in touch, a person may change. I have cousins who were always unhelpful and now, five years later, are amazing.

As long as you don't expect anything from anyone, that is the main thing.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
394
Location
England
During my whole life i felt nobody ever cared about me and this includes my parents. I left my home pretty young and started living by myself. I felt it was less painful to be by myself rather than in a house with a family who never cared about me.

I always wanted a "home" and I married expecting to have one but my marriage failed.

The story of my life has been lonliness and i dont think it will ever change. I am not so young right now and i would love to have someone to share my life with. Unfortunately i have not found that person. In the few occassions where i thought i found someone worthwhile to be with, things did not ended well.

So, today Im alone, i know no one cares about me and really it does not bother me. When people ask how i am, i always answer "im fine". But deep inside my spirit i feel totally broken.
I'm alone too. I have become used to it but still have hope that my man is out there somewhere. I wish he would hurry up.
 
R

RAMZY

Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2020
Messages
14
Location
USA
In good times everyone's with you. Its when you are in difficult situation and looking for some one to console you, this is the time which reveals your true friends to you. In most cases those person whom you thought are closer to you or are your good friends, seems nowhere for you in the time of need. So if you have such person in your life my suggestion would be to have a distance with them and go in search for a true and genuine person.
 
M

Millie Dev

Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Ireland
During my whole life i felt nobody ever cared about me and this includes my parents. I left my home pretty young and started living by myself. I felt it was less painful to be by myself rather than in a house with a family who never cared about me.

I always wanted a "home" and I married expecting to have one but my marriage failed.

The story of my life has been lonliness and i dont think it will ever change. I am not so young right now and i would love to have someone to share my life with. Unfortunately i have not found that person. In the few occassions where i thought i found someone worthwhile to be with, things did not ended well.

So, today Im alone, i know no one cares about me and really it does not bother me. When people ask how i am, i always answer "im fine". But deep inside my spirit i feel totally broken.
You have just described me and my life and how I feel, will I ever be happy or feel loved, I don't think I will, I feel I'm not worth loving
 
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