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What do I do about my dad??

B

BobDylan

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I am writing because I face difficulty at home with my father as he has mental health and alcohol abuse issues. I want to know what is the best thing i can do for both him and myself.


My father is an alcoholic but he won't admit it, and he also suffers from a condition that he was recently diagnosed with after spending some time in park house (voluntary mental care). The condition he suffers with is called 'paranoid psychosis', I'm not sure what is mean but it sounds accurate.


He fully and truely believes that he has some massive responsibility to the world (but he won't tell anyone what it is, he just says "you don't understand"), and he believes with all his heart that there are people sneaking into our house at night and poisoning all the food in the cupboards etc. He recently accused me of being hipnotized by the very people that are trying to kill him because I threw out the old analog radio.


And much more seriously, I am a fan of martial arts and I collect memorabilia such as nunchukas and samurai swords, and I display them on stands in my room (but I have no inttention of using them for anything other than polishing then and making them look nice). He has been going out at night for a while with the nunchukas when he goes to get his beer, beacause he thinks he'll be attacked at the shops, and just the other day I was in my room on the computer and he came in with a strange, distant look in his face and grabbed one of the samurai off the wall. Immediately I said "Hey! what the hell are you doing?" while walking towards him, and he said "just taking this one to the shop" (asif it was 'normal'), I then said "Give it me now! That's a sword! do you understand?" he said "yeah I know", "Give it to me NOW", and he reluctantly gave it me back and left the room.


Basically I'm really worried that he will progress in his psycotic world and eventually do something terrible, so I need help. He will not goo into AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) because he said he isn't an alcoholic, and he won't go into park house again because he said all the staff there were trying to kill him by hypnosis and poison. He constantly says there are microphones listening to him and people are spying on the house. Honestly if he carries on I think I might have a breakdown before him. I'm 25 and I'm at college doing a degree in Business (and I'm gettin top grade), I don't want this all ruined because of my dad. He's supposed to be my hero, but he's my nightmare.


Please help me, do I have him sectioned? if so, how? or can you suggest anything else? i.e. the proper contact email for NHS mental health.
 
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Apotheosis

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Please help me, do I have him sectioned? if so, how? or can you suggest anything else? i.e. the proper contact email for NHS mental health.
It is a difficult situation.

In my own experience I was sectioned at 17, & again at 25 & 26. A part of me holds deep resentment towards certain people & "the system", for a lack of help & care - beyond drugging me & locking me up. It has certainly been easier for others to have had me drugged; but I don't think it has benefited me a great deal. Although with a severe lack of the right support or any alternatives, there doesn't exist any easily accessible alternatives, for me.

I also had severe drug & alcohol problems, for 17 years. I sought help in desperation & lack of any other help; with 12 step recovery. People have to want recovery. Something I used to long for was someone to take my ideas & experiences seriously & to discuss them openly. I am grateful that today I have people in my life that I can share my ideas, experiences & thoughts with. Without the blank fearful expressions or the judgement of delusional. This is not to say I haven't been very ill. But discussing things openly within a trustful relationship has been the best help to me.

I won't give you any direct advice - it must be very painful & difficult for you. If you rang the police, especially during any strange behaviour - then it is possible he could be put under police section, assessed & then admitted for a months observation. The pre requisite is the classic we all know so well "A danger to themselves or others".

Go with what you feel in your heart to be the best for all concerned. I wish you well.
 
daffy

daffy

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This must be very stressful for you bobdylan. I can only concur with Apo on this. For your own sanity you need to talk to someone. Try phoning Mind. If you Google it youll find one in your area. You need to think seriously if hes a danger to himself and even more so to someone else..

I know you shouldnt have to but why not for the time being lock away your knives. Just to be on the safe side.

I do think if hes carrying weapons you do need to see his GP. He doesnt have to be sectioned maybe medication could help or he can volunteer to go in. He may even be referred to aday centre. Its not always as bleak as it seems

I do hope you get some help for both your sakes:hug:
 
Yellowcoaching

Yellowcoaching

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I know you shouldnt have to but why not for the time being lock away your knives. Just to be on the safe side.
QUOTE]

I was thinking the same thing. I suppose he may still find something else to make him feel safe and you can't lock up half your kitchen but a samurai sword may have a different connotation in your fathers mind than a kitchen knife as one is clearly a weapon.

Do speak to a professional about this ASAP. I think this is a huge burden to try and bear alone.
 
S

Starbright

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Ring your local CRHT and CMHT (Crisis Resolution and Home Treatment Team / Community Mental Health Team). If you don't know the number, ring your doctor's surgery and say you have a serious problem you need to speak to the doctor about urgently and then discuss it with him and ask how to get him the help he needs. He may or may not need to be sectioned, it depends on if he will go in voluntarily. I hope to goodness your CRHT is better than mine. Certainly if your GP agrees, make an appointment for the GP for your dad and take him with you. Tell the doctor everything, including this post if it contains all the info succinctly. I hope and pray that they send out the CRHT immediately and that they take your dad to hospital, which is where he needs to be right now.

Let's hope that when he's well he will understand why you are doing this, but love is not just how you feel but it's also doing things for people, and this is what he needs, whether he understands it or not. You are going to have to be happy with having done the right thing, the thing that keeps him safe and gets him better, rather than having his good opinion right now. It is a heavy burden to have on your shoulders, but bear in mind that this is the burden that all parents carry too, and that in his life he has had to do things for you when you were young which were best for you but which you hated him for. It's just that the tables are now reversed.

On a side note, try not to feel that he is not your hero. When he gets better he might talk to you about what it was like and you might find that you do think of him as a hero for getting through and living through the terrible experiences he is having right now, and through all the 'help' of some of the worst psychiatrists, and the drug side-effects, etc. Also you might get back the dad you used to have. You might discover a closer relationship.

I can't help you with your degree. Yes it's important, but so is your dad. I don't know how badly it's being affected by him but is there any chance of speaking to the student loans people and the university and deferring your next year of study until the year after, just to give you a chance to help dad. University is important, and having enough money to live on keeps depression and loneliness and desperation away, but people are what counts. Friends and family.

I sincerely wish you all the best. Please come on and let us know how it all goes.
 
M

mckie

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All good advice so please take it. One alternative is to keep your room locked being sure that all the weapons are inside. As an aside, what atrted your intrest in making this collection?
 
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